...Just a midwestern boy on his own.

Helen Rowland once said, "It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son -- and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him". Hmmm, I doubt Helen was specifically talking about me but I'm sure she would at least give me a nod of approval. You see, every man above the age of 18 has a, "Crazy B!tch" story to tell. Some horrid tale of a girl he had a disastrous relationship with. I grew up being a natural cynic. And in doing so I thought it had prepared me for just about every contingency any fast moving psychotic could possibly throw my way. I was sadly mistaken. At the time of this writing I am fairly assured that no man can produce an honest account of anything worse than what I spell out here. Perhaps someone will have a more violent story to tell. Perhaps there is a man that can account for a much more abusive engagement. But for an all around sick-f_/ck, tail to tell... I'll have each and ever one of you beat. Hands down, no comparison.

I have learned many years later that after everything was said and done, my wife was left sitting there pondering for many many months why I ever moved up there with her to begin with. It was very obvious from day 1 that I was way too distant emotionally. It seems like she picked up on something was very wrong within days if not hours of my arrival. So she was left sitting there wondering why I even bothered to begin with. I was mentally abusive, hateful, cold, uncaring and just about every other negative word you could come up with to describe my demeanor. This would be one secret I would never divulge to her and she was left baffled as to my behavior. However, I did tell her after a few weeks when we were sitting in a restaraunt having pizza, "You are not what I want. You are not what I am looking for". Her reply was simply, "That's obvious". But I don't think she really believed me. I later denied my true feelings and tried to smooth over what I had said as I realized I kinda needed a roof over my head. That and I was kinda stuck there for the time being. But I can tell you the look on her face indicated she was horrified by what I said. Almost a year later I once again stated my true feelings for my wife, only this time it was to her mother. Although the exact words I used escape me after so long, I know that it was something like, "I've gotten to the point where I can't stomach to sleep with her. I want nothing to do with her at all". My mother-in-law wasted no time in relaying this little tidbit to my wife. And again I had to deny everything. Once again, she was horrified. Now, the truth is, I never wanted to go see her. I was never attracted to her physically. She lived 2 hours north of the Canadian border and I was staring down a 22+ hour drive just to get there. So why did I go? Simple really. It was an escape. An escape from my miserable existence. I was turning 23, had just gotten out of the military a few years prior. I had no job prospects, no experience doing much of anything and was trying to exist on a salary at a pathetic job. I never did divulge any of this to her. That I really didn't like her. That I never truly had any interest. For if I was to do so, she would have told me to hit the road immediately. I distinctly remember being somewhat surprised when one of her friends asked me when my wife wasn't around, "It's kinda obvious you don't like her, eh? That "friend" was female so perhaps it was due to some woman-intuition or something. But still I was surprised because I thought I had hid my true feelings (or lack thereof) a lot better than that. Interestingly enough, there was a perfect stranger that made the same comment to my wife when I was out of the room. "You're husband doesn't really like you that much does he?". Perhaps I wasn't as good at playing the role as I had hoped. But even when things had gotten truly bad between us, I kept silent. For if she was to learn that the entire affair was a ploy, a complete fraud, I couldn't be sure how she would react. That was one rock I was not willing to overturn. She probably wouldn't have believed me anyways. Only seeing it as one last attempt to hurt her as I was walking out the door. One last parting shot just for the sheer hell of it. You'll learn why she would have that attitude a little later.

I arrived around 11 pm. I had been on the road for way too long. When she heard me drive up she came running out of her front door to greet me. My first thought was, "My God this woman's big"!! But I had to hide my revulsion. Just pretend that I am excited to see her. Remember, this was an escape for me. Not some lover's fling where I run off to a foreign country and we both live happily ever in bliss. And I was in no position to get in my car and return home. I had to at least act excited to see her. I was there under false pretenses but I was exhausted. After the hello's and smiles and giggles that I had to feign, I had to go to bed. But it wasn't long that I realized I was headed for a disaster. The next day I got out of bed, and was confronted from what felt like a 3 alarm hangover. The entire trip had taken more of a toll on me than I initially realized. But I had promised my family that I would let them know all was well. So, standing there with phone in hand trying to have a conversation at a rate of over 50 cents a minute, I find myself confronting 2 large dogs that would not shut up. The barking was making the telephone useless in any meaningful way. 3 times I tried to get the dogs to quiet themselves but it only made it worse. They were barking at me and they weren't any more happy to see me than I was to see their owner. I finally lost my patience and screamed at them to shut the hell up. Following up with calling them a name or 2. The entire time this is happening my future wife was sitting on the couch watching this little encounter between me and her canine friends. She saw everything that was happening and my difficulty talking on the phone. She knew the horrendous rates I was paying just to tell my family that I was still alive. When I finally lost all patience she reacted by saying, "Johnny you can make fun of me but don't you dare cuss out my dogs". She was actually pissed off that I screamed at the dogs!! She never once intervened, tried to calm the dogs, absolutely nothing. I couldn't believe it. I actually looked out the large bay window in the kitchen with a view towards my car and considered, simply without saying a word, walking out the front door, and just simply driving home. Yes I knew then she was an idiot. But I felt so bad from the trip that I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready for another 22+ hour drive.

When the dust had settled several years later, that is after I had left her for good and I was once again sitting safely in Nashville, my uncle told me then that he knew I would be returning. That there was no way it would last up there with her. When I asked the reason he thought that, he simply said, "You have a sh!tty attitude. You walked into that up there with the idea, "You don't take sh!t from nobody. That nobody is going to tell you what to do...etc." He was right. And as a result, I was abusive the entire time I was with her. I know now that you absolutely cannot go into any relationship with that being in the forefront in your mind. Coupled with the fact that I felt absolutely nothing for her to begin with and you have exactly one recipe guaranteed to make Cupid himself throw up his hands and say, "F_/ck it!!. It has been many years since I left that frozen hell hole and time has tempered me somewhat towards what transpired. I think in some sickly way, my wife really did care about me. (In the beginning) She really treated me well for a short awhile. She dragged me out to meet all her girlfriends. Almost as a, "See what I got" sorta way. At least, that's how it appeared to me. (note, this was probably just my own vanity in the making) But my abusive and almost always distant persona quickly caught up with us both. In less than 3 weeks her personality began to change. And I was the reason. When the dust had settled, she had learned "hate" like nothing she had ever experienced before. And I mean TRUE hate. To the extent that I believe even to this day, that in the event of my death the most she would have been capable of showing is depraved indifference. In fact, the last 6 months was spent with us both actively trying to hurt each other in any way possible. Doing really sick sh!t in fact. I knew it finally dawned on her as to just how bad things had deteriorated between us when one day she calmly looked down at the floor, then looked up at me and stated, "Johnny, I've never been this much of a b!tch to any man".

Symptoms of something sickly......

Within days of my arrival she absolutely insisted that I go meet a guy named, "Robert". Now, Robert was a different kind of fellow. Different in the fact that Robert liked it up the ass. That is to say, HIS ASS. Yeah, Robert liked putting from the ruff. There was one slight technicality though. Robert had a relationship with my wife for almost 5 years. Now any SANE person by this point would be asking why in the hell was she so adamant that I go over to meet him? Who the hell drags their current boyfriend over to see their ex-f@ggot boyfriend? The sickliest part is that she whole heartedly really and truly believed that this was all perfectly natural and that this was the way it should be. (Her words, not mine) Yeah, my wife wasn't dealing with a full deck was she? And it was becoming more and more obvious with each passing day. I would soon realize that Robert had even more disdain for me than even my wife did. He was still trying to carry on some neurotic and cerebral relationship with my wife even years after it had ended between the 2 of them. I had no idea at the time as to what extent he would go to cause me every aggravation and difficulty he could. However I can assure you, he did rise to the occasion. And of course my wife **who never** took my side in anything through the years to come, justified what he was doing. It very soon became apparent that I was actually completely alone. And I was going to have to battle them both. Yeah, it was me Vs them. And they literally sided in together and my own wife turned against me. (An interesting side note here, somewhere around this same time and without any prompting from me, I had the very disturbing experience of having my own mother-in-law notice this and bring it to my attention by asking the prudent question, "Why doesn't my daughter ever take your side in any of this?" She had hinted for some months that she suspected me and her daughter wasn't all that close. I never told her why and/or what I had done to cause it) Anyways, their confab and sick twisted loyalty for each other caused them an unrelenting amount of problems. And I made damn sure it did. She being way way on the other side of normal. And I don't think she had ever heard the term rational. He, being self-destructive most of his life. Still struggling with his own obsessions with, "batting for the other team". And the fact he was so far in the closet, the little c@cksucker was still opening last year's Christmas presents and sh!t. Needless to say, the two made for a very interesting combination, and I used it. I began referring to him as, "her boyfriend". It pissed her off to no end to hear this. So I said it as much as possible. It deserves saying again, I said it a LOT. I ran that sh!t into the ground!! I decided that since she obviously didn't really give a f_/ck about me either, I was going to drive her completely off the deep end. I turned up the heat so to speak. I began an ungodly tirade concerning this little f@ggot and doing everything I could to make her life a living hell. While also doing everything I could to make her feel sorry for me. Once I saw her begin to retreat from that sick and warped relationship with her f@ggot ex-boyfriend, I began a crusade that would ultimately force her to once again rely on him for help. Up to and including manufacturing situations that would force her to go to that f@ggot. Hell, I got to the point where I was the one calling him and using his help for my own benefit. It began to take a toll on her and on him as well. The truth of it is, she didn't know what to think of my actions, and neither did he. However, I could hear it in his voice. (People that he confided in came to me and said he was getting sick of having to do everything for, "them") When anything went wrong, something broke. Car quit running..."Well, you better call your boyfriend". "Call your boyfriend, maybe he can fix it". It drove her just absolutely bat-sh!t. But regardless, I had by that point proven that I was capable of just about any home repair that needed to be done and was at least a fair mechanic as well. once I had proven that, I immediately began forcing her to rely on him for anything and everything. Thus causing her to resent me even further as I had already proven that more than likely, whatever it was, I could have dealt with it myself. But anyways, to give you an idea of just HOW SICK these two were together, the night of our wedding he called and wanted to talk to her. I don't know what was said but when she hung up she began crying and whining about, "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard anyone say". Uhh, let's review here shall we? I'm sitting there with my wife on our honeymoon and she proceeds to have a 25 minute telephone conversation with her ex-f@ggot boyfriend while I'm sitting beside her? In which she falls apart afterwards because whatever he said to her was, "Just so adorable" ?? Yeah ok!! And people reading this will think I'm a sick f_/ck?? I got up at this point and just went to bed and left her sitting there. The next thing I hear is dishes being thrown to the floor. She was pissed off at me!! Said I was neglecting and ignoring her. In the beginning my abuse would make her cry. And cry often she did. I didn't give a f_/ck. She would piss me off and I would start screaming and tear into her. I would say things that wasn't just passively and/or mildly abusive. I aimed for the core of her soul. Her weight being one of her worst problems physically and mentally. I aimed for it. And needless to say, I was good at it. So she would cry. I think somewhere in her sick twisted mind, that perhaps she really did think something of me. Anyways, within those first few months, I had seen so much idiotic behavior out of her, and she by that time had involved her ex-f@ggot boyfriend in our personal lives to the extent, that I....well, I simply didn't give a f_/ck. And soon I was literally begging her to just give me enough money to get home and in turn, she could go running off with the little f@ggot. It seemed she still didn't want to let go of me.

**I learned many years later that she got married again and the little f@ggot was once again causing problems in her marriage and she was once again condoning it. I understand she has since divorced a 2nd time.


THINGS ESCALATE....

Somewhere among all of this freak show circus that I was living in, I began hearing slight innuendos aimed at my mother. Initially I ignored them as the alternative, that is, to try and decipher what she was really saying and why, was just too sick for even me to mentally tabulate. However, they became more frequent. And eventually they weren't innuendos any longer. Finally it got real old and I confronted her with it. What the hell was she trying to say??? That's when she confessed that she hated my mother. I asked her where in the hell that was coming from and she literally said, "She calls and talks to you too much. You sit on the computer typing back and forth to your entire family!". (That was a direct quote) I immediately dropped the subject. As to be honest it frightened the hell out of me. Here's why! I had long ago learned that in my family, keeping your spouse separate from her in-laws (i.e my own family) was cardinal rule no# 1

So I came to the following conclusions:

1: My wife never conversed with my mother or any of my family. Not even once...not EVER!
2: I never told my wife anything about my family. Vaguely, nothing of consequence anyways.


Yet, my wife made it very clear she LOATHED my mother and to a lesser extent, my whole family in general. She even went so far as to include my little brother. To make this especially sick you must understand my brother was 6 years old at the time. Sound way too bizarre to be true? That was exactly my thinking as well. I wasn't prepared for just how much more deranged she would get. Years later at a family get together I recounted this to many of them. As they ALL sat around the table with me and laughing their ass off at this b!tch's behavior I described, it suddenly dawned on my mother of all people... "You mean we were all so intentionally distant from this idiot that she actually had no proof we even existed? And she still hated our guts?...My God Johnny, that nut was sitting up there fighting with ghosts!!" What the hell could I say? They were right.

From practically day one I had told her, adamantly in fact, that I did not trust her. Not just regarding marriage infidelity but in all aspects one could think of. And I made this abundantly clear and abundantly often. To drive this point home and thus making it all the more insulting, I just didn't say it but actually took steps and actions based on this very idea. Things she noticed and would remark on. Sometimes even innocently, "Johnny? Why do you go out and start your car once a week? You act so worried all the time that it might not run. We don't even use your car". "Uhhh, because I do not trust you!" And I said it with gusto. I explained that when I go to leave her and that god forsaken country of hers, that I would need a way out and quick. That I knew she would try to f_/ck me over on my way out the door. Note this wasn't said during some heated argument but rather just during off-handed conversation. And I would say these things very calmly and matter of fact-sounding as I possibly could. Thus adding to it's intended effect. I remember the first time I made such a remark she actually began to giggle and then stopped abruptly when she looked up from the table, saw me standing over the top of her with not even a hint of a smile or sarcasm to my face. Her giggles turned to silence which turned to horror. She asked if I truly believed that she would try to hurt me. That did I believe she was capable of throwing me out in the middle of the winter with not a car or a penny to my name. I said, "Not only do I believe it, but I'm betting on it". She began to cry....
And as a small footnote, in the end, that is EXACTLY what she did to me. Out the f_/cking door, completely broke and in the middle of a blizzard of all things. I may have been a prick. I may have been untrusting, I may have been cynical, but I was also RIGHT!! If I hadn't prepared for my departure months in advance. (yes, I planned for months) I cannot fathom what predicament she would have put me in. Several instances come to mind even to this day. It would seem I was preparing for the end within minutes of parking my car in her driveway the very first time. It's not like I had any delusions or anything. I mean, hell I went up there with probably the worst mindset any person could have. She had once asked me if I would have my books sent up there from home. As I had described many of them to her and she seemed fascinated. So when she asked to see them I simply told her there was no f_/cking way. As you can imagine this puzzled her somewhat. As per my usual demeanor I informed her there was no way in hell I would have them sent as WHEN I go to leave, there would be no way I could take them with me. And I valued them greatly. She looked at the floor and said, "Once again all you can do is plan to leave and you base your entire life around it". I once again had to politely remind her that I did not trust her one bit and I knew that I would never get them back when I go to leave. Looking at the floor with a solemn appearance she stated, "What you are doing...the things you say to me and do, it's a self- fulfilling prophecy". In other words, by my statements and actions I was guaranteeing that every single thing I worried about would indeed occur. Sitting here 15 years later I know now she was correct. However, we aren't together, she's up there and guess what?? I STILL HAVE MY BOOKS! I WIN!! (I really did believe she would try to hurt me any way possible. I did end up leaving a few inconsequential items of no value and now 15 years later she still has not returned them to me...once again, I was RIGHT. Thank god I didn't buy into any of her, "Oh Johnny don't say that! I would never do anything to harm you". I cannot imagine what that b!tch would have taken from me and what all I would have lost had I actually trusted her!!)



MY WIFE IS SLEEPING WITH WHAT???

When you think about it, infidelity can come in many forms. By the time I picked up on what was happening I just couldn't get upset. I was mentally drained and just biding my time. It becomes fairly obvious when your wife is only spending 4 days a week at home and the rest of time is somewhere else. At first it was only one night. Then it became 2. But hell! It was a relief!! Things were quiet around the house and my blood pressure would slowly return to normal. It was then I realized I was onto a good thing!! She was gone and out of my life for days!! It was heaven on earth!! Yes, that's how much I despised even her presence. Realizing that this was good for me I began hounding her even on Thursday nights. Normally she would stay at the house Monday through Friday and then go to some lesbian's house for the weekend. I assumed this was to get away from me. But there was more to it than that. I then had an idea. If I could b!tch enough, continuous insults and make her completely f_/cking miserable, maybe I could get her to leave on Thursday and stay away til Sunday night!! It worked. One thing I didn't mentioned earlier. About my car?? Remember she had asked why I was so concerned that my car would run? That we weren't using it? Well, I had also informed her that if she ever got the chance, she would leave me sitting in that house of hers, WAY out in the country and I would be completely STUCK with no way out. No way to go anywhere. I remember the FIT she through about that one. She acted completely floored that I could even accuse her of doing such a thing. I can still hear her saying to me, "Do you really think I could do something like that to you?.... blah blah". Ad nauseum. Now, 1 year later that is exactly what she was attempting to do. Once again, I WAS RIGHT. I say, "attempting" because she wasn't leaving me in dire straights like she had hoped. Yes, that was one of the reasons she was leaving for so long at a time. She wanted to hurt me, to leave me stuck way out in the country all alone. She could have really put me in a bind but once again my cynical sh!tty attitude saved me. I needed her GONE. I simply couldn't take her presence any longer. She said to me over the phone, "Johnny if you don't stop, I'm going to become a real b!tch to you". Always the clever bastard I replied, "Really? You might have to point this out to me". She didn't find it amusing. However, later that night I stumbled onto an idea. She was already leaving Friday after work and coming home on Saturday. If I could make her believe I was completely STUCK and completely dependent on her and her car, she WOULD do exactly as I predicted. That is, she would leave for days and days on end. So, I explained to her around this time that my car was screwed, it wouldn't run at all and the plates had expired. It was all a lie and it worked like a charm. The next weekend she left for THREE days. The weekend after that she was gone four. How's that for someone that once stated, "Johnny I would never do anything to hurt you..I'm not capable of these things you are so afraid of. I could NEVER do that to you". (once again, direct quote) But regardless, I enjoyed my time alone. I had heard through the grapevine (her friends betrayed her more than she realized) that she thought it was funny and served me right. That if I was going to be a prick I could just sit out there all alone without a car or a cigarette or a dime to my name and without any food either if all went as planned. Yeah, she would disappear for a long time and not once check on me to see that I even had food to eat. So anyways, according to at least one of her so called friends, she was definitely enjoying what she was doing to me. But as I stated earlier, I predicted this down to the letter and prepared for it. And as she once said, "Johnny, Your actions and the way you treat me only result in making your own predictions come true". So, one weekend for a reason I could never figure out. I at the time had no idea really as we weren't speaking much, she decided to stay home with me. I panicked. There was no way in hell I was going to spend that much time with her. Just to be a prick, I took her overnight bag she always dragged with her and took it out to the car. And then I started in on her. It didn't take long for her to get sick of me screaming and b!tching and insulting her about something. I'm not even sure what it was now as I write this as I made it up at the time. It worked. She jumped up from her chair and immediately began putting her shoes on. When she went digging through the closet in the hallway for her overnight bag I calmly walked up to her and said, "I took it out to the car about 30 minutes ago". And then I smiled. I think she was the most pissed off I had ever seen her. She realized I had staged the entire thing to get her to leave. OH well, she finished getting ready and slammed the door behind her. I WIN!!

I was standing in the kitchen one day, probably staring out the bay window and contemplating how miserable I was, when the phone rang. It was that dyke lesbian she had been staying the weekend with for several months. Unfazed and not really caring, I told her who was on the phone. I went back to staring out the window. Then something got my attention. There was something in my wife's voice. Something I hadn't heard since I had first arrived there. There was something different. Her voice was soothing and had a sentimental tone to it. Like what you hear when people are in a relationship where they are sleeping together and really really like one another. (again, something I only heard a few times when I first arrived) I stood there in the kitchen listening. I have to say, it takes a real sonofab!tch to drive a heterosexual woman into the arms of another lesbian. Perhaps what I did to her over the years had more of a detrimental effect than I realized. Anyways, I stood there listening to my wife speak soothingly to this diesel dyke. And I mean DIESEL DYKE. I calmly walked into the living room after she hung up and said, "Hey... Do you actually lick that??". I wasn't horrified that my wife was having an affair. I had already assumed that was happening. And, true to form as I predicted and told her over and over, "I do NOT trust you. I don't believe you would be faithful to me...you are capable of anything!!"... Sure enough, she was having an affair. ONCE AGAIN, I WAS RIGHT!! However, it was WHAT she was having an affair with that was so disturbing. Words cannot describe what my wife was sleeping with. This was AWFUL!! It barely looked female for one thing. And it damn sure didn't act like one. This horrendous b!tch, that I later found out absolutely despised me for no reason, looked for all purposes like 6 miles of bad road. (that was under construction) I quickly formulated a plot to catch her on the phone with this barely human lesbian girlfriend. The plan being to record their conversation and then send the recordings to every single person she knew. And that would include her mother. But as I stood there, again staring out the window and wishing for a better life, I realized I just couldn't be bothered. It wasn't worth the effort to drive down to radio shack and get the recording device. There may have been a few other affairs she had as well, but I couldn't prove it. I'm fairly certain there was at least a few guys she f_/cked behind my back during our time together as well. Not including the diesel dyke, but I can't be sure to this day if that wasn't actually a guy or not. Regardless, with the exception of one person, all the people she knew and befriended didn't care for me much. And some literally hated my guts as much as my wife did. So earlier when I said I soon realized I was completely alone up there, I really was completely alone. So I didn't exactly have a large handful of informants that were coming to me. Most of her so called friends despised me and regardless of how much they saw her screwing me over, wasn't about to come to me and say anything. Honestly though, I just wanted her gone.


Enough.............

I could drag this story out til hell freezes over. But I realize it's all now redundant. She would do things to try and hurt me, I would either have prepared for it and or retaliated. Over and over, same sh!t every week. Suffice to say, down to my very last prediction, she did exactly what I said she would do. She f_/cked around, had an affair. Tried like hell to leave me stranded for days without a car or food. And as I predicted she did everything she could to make sure I got out of their with nothing but the clothes on my back in the most desperate circumstances possible. I ended up leaving in the middle of the night, during a blizzard with absolutely NOTHING to my name. Just as I told her she would. Yep, she did to me what she swore she would never do. However, call it cynical or just a hateful prick...but I made sure I at least got out of there intact. No property to settle in the divorce, no kids..no ties. Early on in that relationship, I even told her that there was no way in hell she was having my kid. I told her point blank she was way too unstable to be around small children. She didn't take that comment too well. I even demanded a prenuptial!! She thought I was actually being kind and thoughtful towards her for a change when I brought up getting a Prenuptial agreement. The truth of it is, I wanted to make SURE that no creditor/debtor could hold me responsible for anything she owed before or after the divorce. And all money owed to the banks were HER DEBT only. No way was I going to be attached to anyone, marriage or divorce be damned. But walking out the door, I was pretty screwed. If it wasn't for my cousin driving in the snow storm to pick me up that night I have no idea what I would have done. On a better note, I did manage to get out of there and away from that b!tch with everything I went up there with. But ONLY what I came up there with. She didn't get anything from me. She did have the nerve to call me 9 months later and ask me to split the cost of the divorce. I laughed at her over the phone. I don't know what it cost her. I know she had to pay for the divorce papers to be sent to me and she had to pay for them to be picked up. Also paying for the cost of the divorce, court and filing fees. Looking back, I should have refused to sign the f_/cking things and dragged it out forever. But I was done. I didn't want to play anymore. I made sure she had to pay for everything in the divorce because I damn sure wasn't going to. Me being married to her never meant anything to me, so I didn't care if we EVER got a divorce. It didn't effect me either way. So she had to pay for the entire ordeal, minus 50 dollars of my money.

It was simply god-awful living with that woman. Not something I ever want to repeat. I think I've matured a little since then. I have sometimes wondered if she would have treated me any differently if I had conducted myself any better. I know I never told her I loved her. AS for one, I don't believe in that sort of thing. And even if I did, I damn sure didn't and couldn't love her. I spent most of my time there taking things away from her that meant so much. Refusing to ever, EVER step foot on her boat after she pissed me off on one occasion. A promise I made and stuck with the entire time I was there. Rubbing it in her stupid f_/cking face quite quite often. I believe that hurt her maybe the most. The boat was something she really enjoyed and she really wanted me to be part of it. I warned her that night on the boat to stop. I warned her what I would do if she continued. She didn't believe me. Then she pissed me off one afternoon when I was working on her car. I warned her ONCE to shut the f_/ck up or I would never touch her automobile again. She didn't believe me so I carried through with my threat. And like all threats I carried through with it and kept it to the very end. It just so happened 2 weeks later the brakes went to hell in a handbag and she asked me to fix it. I gratefully reminded her of my promise and then said, "Better call your boyfriend and have him help you". Well, due to problems I had instigated, they weren't speaking at the time so she was forced to go to a mechanic. The total was over 400$ of HER MONEY.. I explained that I could have done the repair for 40 dollars and some change. She was NOT happy. But I did warn her. Then I took the holidays away from her. And she had to spend them alone. Again I warned her! This was particularly hurtful as the entire time she was being put in the awkward position of explaining to her friends and family why her husband wouldn't have anything to do with her. But I warned her. These threats I ALWAYS made good on and kept til the very end. As for a grand finale, I threatened to never EVER go anywhere with her again, Permanently!! Not even to the freakin' store for a pack of cigarettes. Not once from that point on did I ever get in a car with her again. Continuing in this vain, after 2 years...I came to the conclusion there was nothing left to take away. NOTHING. I am not sure how much there really was to begin with. I didn't go to see her with the most noble of intentions, that's for damn sure.

The way I see it today, she spent more time with her ex-f@ggot boyfriend and her diesel dyke lesbian than she ever did with me, her own husband. Something is very wrong with that I think. But, after seeing and realizing that her allegiance was really to them, I did a LOT of sh!t to force them together. Often times, without them even being aware of it. Bear in mind, this is the woman that called me one summer night after being gone for days and informed me that she was going to be spending the night on her boat alone with her ex-f@ggot boyfriend and that she would most likely see me in the morning!! (she told me that this was all perfectly natural for her and him to do this and if I had a problem with it, that perhaps I should seek therapy) Speaking of which, I once had a very long and interesting conversation with that same boyfriend of hers. From what he told me, she never did the sh!t to him or treated him anything like the way she treated me. He was so shocked at what I told him she had done he simply couldn't believe all of it. I walked away from her with the clothes on my back and one very hard learned and searing lesson. That is, first and foremost, I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN. The horrific sh!t my wife did to me was mostly of my own doing. I created a monster. And I still hate her guts to this day! This is one game I don't ever want to, "win" again.

Now, dear readers...let's hear it. What do you think of my sickly divorce story?