Maribel Rodriguez

I'm not sure what I'm feeling myself....

One minute I'm terribly sad. So sad that I cannot bring myself to do one thing that I love most to do which is SLEEP!!!

The next minute, I find myself talking to myself in my mind. Loud and clear. I say to myself, "HEY!!! Snap out of it! Go to sleep and you will have a better tomorrow." I reply by saying, "Do you think that he will come back tome?"
Then I say, "Pfft! You shouldn't want someone who never thinks that you are good enough for him to come back to you. They themselves will soon find another imperfection and then take another 4 months to tell you in the most ill-mannered and embarrassing way (perhaps this time he will say it on your birthday or something!)"
I quietly sit beside myself and submissively say, "OKAY."

I don't know if this has happened to any of you once, before, or perhaps today but; I have recently lost the one I gave my heart to December 22, 2011 in the most humiliating way. I spent Christmas with my family, returned about $150 worth of gifts (that I bought for him) and I just sat in my room not knowing what else to do with the day or the rest of the 2011 year for that matter.

I have thought of a four year plan to perhaps move to a much warmer, sunnier state where (the person who performed open heart surgery on me with out any anesthesia) they cannot be in the same radius that might have us breathing in the same air unless they move or vacation there.

So I hope to eventually mend my broken heart. Until then I guess I can prepare for a grand transition and slumber when I am back to my happy self again.

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Two timers....

Sunday, June 14, 2009 5:56:31 AM

At this day and age there are many rules to socializing especially when it comes to socialize with the opposite sex. Two timing on the other hand has a whole new set of rules within themselves by the way.

The reason I write about this topic pertains to a situation that occurred today. It is not the situation that I found out that I had a two timer on my hands -No. I understand the tendencies of some people and sometimes why they do it, however; I do not understand why some males are so sloppy when they are trying to play that game.

This game that I have become so familiar with, makes me laugh to think about how much more discrete I am at it than males are sometimes.

For example, If I am talking to two people who i just so happen to be interested in I DO NOT invite both of them to a party where I will have the casualty to lose one or both potential interests of mine.

Secondly, I would avoid from going out with potential mutual friends who might notify the other person who has yet to arrive to the scene where the crime is taking place.

So to those of you who consider yourself to be a two-timer, a playa or what have you, please do not be sloppy about it. Have some discretion which is and should be a cardinal rule in your 'How to be a playa' rule book. I mean why set yourself up for failure? lol it's ridiculous how these boys really are...

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Dream World

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 2:52:50 AM

The best dream to have is that dream that makes you feel calmn and complete at the same time. The best dream is the attainable dream that can exist in the real realm as much as it exists in my dreams.

My dreamworld consist of what love is like, I know it well enough to see it coming after me. So well that I can dodge that bullet without piercing an inch of my flesh if I wanted to.

I have a dreamworld where I turn on my side to find the perfect mate caressing my face and thanking something or someone for finding me. A person who can simply pick me up at the drop of a dime and say, "I must have this now please" and can do what needs to be done regardless of the task.

A dream of a dream where I am laying on a beach and feeling the sun's warmth as I marvel at the sound of the crashing waves in front of me. The dream of a dream where I draw hearts in the sand and feel the water at my feet.

A habitat where I can spend forever and always in, where I can frolic and smell the coconuts in the air.

My dreamworld consist of me being alone in my dream house walking around in peace without anyone to bother me, enjoying the validity of my independence and stability away, from the loud voices that can fill a household if the door were to be left open.

A great dream is the dream where I am told, "Thanks Mom" for making sure everything turned out ok. A great dream consist of my little one being a responsible independent who knows that he needs not those who bring sadness in his life but instead happiness and admiration to his soul.

I dream on as I see each part of my dreamworld transcend into the realm in which I awake to daily.

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