Diana's world

Tonight could be one of those endless nights where you feel as if you could change the world or have an epiphany about your life, while in the background there's a sad song playing over and over again setting the mood to drown the sorrows...But no, i don't have any discovery to save humanity and certainly I haven't figured out the dalai lama theories to spiritually feed my soul...There's only a mixture of old pictures, poems, and memories bringing a whole spectrum of emotions contrasted with today's experiences.

Last time i wrote an entry my north was gone and i was lost, so what have changed? well i don't write for others but to myself but definitely there is something about blogging that makes your heart lose weight once you've shared that pain/hapiness with someone else specially if that someone is a total and complete stranger...but heading back to the beggining...what have changed? i guess i did, 90% of me has changed, perhaps grew up.

My north? i found my north, I definitely know what i want now, my graduation will be soon. Of course I am excited and terrified, is another step closer to adulthood, more responsabilities, a job, marriage, a family and all those events that come with the years, anyhow, without any more topic deviations, I accidentaly found out my life's passion by entering into a neuromarketing conference as a mean to avoid thinking of the typical sadness caused by a broken heart (yes! i met someone, fell in love, talked bout marriage and babies, and ended as many others, i was angry, i was sad, i cried, i denied, i negotiated, and i acepted it was over) and for the first time in my life i decided to fight for the new dream and i am in the process of improvement.

Professionally my life is all set up by now, i made plans and found the necessary tools to help me achieve my dreams!...now personally? let's say i wasn't lucky in the field of love and there's things in need of healing, it doesn't mean i won't give love another try, it only means i enjoy to be on my own for now and maybe love will happen if i stop looking for it.

Still, our personal lives are beyond finding a partner, so let's say i wasn't lucky with love but i was with friendship, I met wonderful people from whom i've leart many life lessons, people i love and love me back, they shine my world.

Going more personally, family business! after perhaps hating my dad for about 18 of my 22 years of existence, i gave him another chance, so all the mistakes forgiven and forgoten (nevertheless, lessons learnt that won't be repeated) I'm still under special guiadance from God and a very good shrink and i've steped out of my misery (I still cry, and being honest it is a necessary evil to overcome sadness)to acept the world is a wonderful place to be and enjoy.

The greatest feeling in the world is to love and be loved in return, who could be more important and responsible for that feeling than the first one to introduce you to the world? yes i'm refering to our mothers...well mine and I had rought moments, but she is more understanding and i finally learnt to love her just the way she is and not for who i wanted her to be, she is not perfect, but neither am i. we are trying to pick up the peaces of our relationship, it's never too late when you really want it.

and that is my story, i might still be in my dark place, but once i come out, the world will be a beautiful adventure.