Diana's world

ok...I came to the USA running away from home so I wouldn't have to face my grandmother's cancer treatment, which make me a coward....which is totally what I am, some people might call it denial or whatever, I just dun like to face situations I can't handle. Oh well the thing is...I met someone here, someone who went from regular to special and I don't mean it in a romantic way, I know I'm not in love but I don't know what I feel either...is that strange connection, we're not friends but we don't have a relationship either...we're in the middle, sometimes I like it but some others I want more but some others I think everything is perfect as it is and some others I don't want anything at all...her friendship is so important to me...I'm so used to her, I feel as If I've known her for ages even tho it haven't been more than 3 months. I don't know how to explain it coz not even I understand it...is that kind of person you feel comfortable with, I can be myself with her, I don't have to pretend, I just have to be me. When we're together, everything is perfect and every moment is worthy...even when we fight, tho I hate to fight with her but at the end we can't be mad at each other...I can't be mad at her, I can't even be away from her more than a week coz then missing her starts hurting....kind of like mmm when the emotional pain turns into physicall pain and suddenly your chest starts hurting, I dunno if I explained myself clear but that's kind of as I feel when I don't see her for too long.
Is strange but I feel safe next to her, like no matter what happens she can alwayz find a way to fix everything....which is completely the opposite of me, if I can't do it I just quit...I'm a quiter and a coward....I hate so much about myself the fact that she can't trust me at all...I try to make things work but I just got bad luck and I hate to dissapoint her, I hate it so much, and I hate myself when I do that coz she doesn't deserv it...usually I wouldn't care, but when it comes to her I just want to do everything perfect...I promised myself a while ago that I would never sacrifice my needs for someone elses'...but I can't help it, I lost my will somehow, I would do anything to make her happy, I love her smile, is beautiful...actually there's nothing that is not beautiful about her, she's a kind, sweet, and adorable person and she looks good as well xD so I hate to make her mad or sad....it just ruins my day...if she's happy, I'm happy, if she's not I'm not as simple as that.
I don't know what good thing I did in my life that allowed me to meet her but I'm glad it happened. we're so different, I've learned so many things from her and days can come and go but I will never forget her.