Bamboo Max

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a
lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started
doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Flow: Flo-rida

4 minutes: Madonna, Justin Timberlakes, Timbaland

Lara Fabian: I am who I am.

Love’s Divine: Seal

Darkness: Darren Hayes

Lollipop: Lil Wayne

Burn It Up: R. Kelly featuring Wisin y Yandel

Ahore Es: Wisin y Yandel

Wipe Me Out: Foxx featuring Webbie and Lil Boosie

Ayo Technology: 50 cents and Justin Timberlake

If I was your man: Joe

Air for life: Above and Beyond

Must Be Dreaming: FrouFrou

He Said-She Said

He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear
pants don't you?


He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.


He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you? She said . Turn sideways
and look in the mirror!


On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
me everywhere" Written just below it . .. . " I do not"


Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.


Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.


Q. What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
A. The bonds mature.


Q.. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.


Q.. How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.


Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
A. A widow.


Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the fridge.


Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
A. They're married.


Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."