Sweep my wings with roots in ground
Monday, 13. April 2009, 19:17:00
Strange feeling I've got. I don't know what happened but I am in state of anxiety. It somewhere inside me and I feel even some vital vibration. Today morning I woken up with beer-stained breath and little headache. Yeah... Yesterday. Yesterday?! It wasn't yesterday. It was before yesterday. I was drinking vodka and beer with my friend and one more strange persone. We was talking about full shit whole the time. I do remember I was little drunk and before I laid me down to sleep I was reading AMD64 technical documentation. It's very difficult technical reading. Not just some assembler instructions but system programming and SIMD. I am interested in this area now because I am working with multimedia software. To be number one is my goal everywhere and now I have to speak with processors native language. I have to be "SSE3" and "3DNow!" poet with 128 bit registers. To use all power of hardware both in legacy and long modes both Intel and AMD. I am interested in this area for now. It mean my mind was cristal clear because I do remember all the things I've read. And this is why I think my worring is not because I was drunk. And more... It was before yesterday and in this morning I had little headache and it couldn't even interfere my work today. But this strange worring... I feel it even now when 02:25 night and it makes me unsleepy smoking walkman. I do know I've lost a lot of life energy when was drinking vodka and maybe it could worring me. I feel some fear. Today I was doing my job. Just french localization for our software. I was searching good ways to decrease troubles in future with localization to other languages. I've found one good compromise between quality of solution and time to realize it. Well... I was researching problem and there was some little moment I had to describe what am I doing for one guy inside our company. And I've found I am stammering... Because I was worring. But I had to continue my discussion and it was so difficult. I was looking for words in air around me. I tried to concentrate with discussion but my thoughts was running away from me prior I tell'em. I am defenceless now. I have no one to share my fears. And I have empty pocket now. No registration yet and penalty fine unpaid. Well-well... Not so good situation. I thought it will be better. I have to find some power to solve this problem. Sweep my wings with roots in ground. Something has more power. But I don't know yet which one. Wings or roots. I just do hope if I am stronger both of my wings and roots.
We sleep when life's flows on Earth
We come here everytime after birth
We're watching our faith as it flows
Down the path of this life we have choise.
We come here everytime after birth
We're watching our faith as it flows
Down the path of this life we have choise.
WIDGETIZE
Elias Yemreli # 15. April 2009, 13:03
AlexAnder Frozen # 15. April 2009, 13:16
Elias Yemreli # 15. April 2009, 17:04
AlexAnder Frozen # 16. April 2009, 05:45
Elias Yemreli # 16. April 2009, 11:45