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Lotus Garden

Quietly, we embrace in a world lit up by words

Posts tagged with "My poetry"

STICKY POST

Content to keep the promise

Tuesday, 1. May 2007, 16:30:58



Content to keep the promise

I have no feelings, heart still
Except when expecting you
I am content to keep the promise
And not willing to change a bit

I need not other things
But greedy to be beside you
I am content to keep the promise
My heart is forever sweet

There are no others but me
Tasting the firm savor
I am content to keep the promise
Whether it is fine or rainy

7 comments

How much I miss you

Wednesday, 2. May 2007, 16:18:09



How much I miss you

When on the night screen
One scene after another of us runs
Do you know
How much I miss you
Oh, my darling!
I wonder at this moment
If your heart is beating
The same rhythm with mine

4 comments

友情赋

Friday, 27. April 2007, 14:51:35

友情赋


四海聚幽栏, 红叶染论坛。

诗词展风流, 百花惹欲燃。

送我春风暖，赠我修辞言。

江流石不转，友情存芳璨。

---By Alicelotus---
April 21, 2007

4 comments

Be your Cigarette

Saturday, 14. April 2007, 13:22:57

Be your Cigarette

You lit me with your gentleness since that day
I have become cigarettes in your hand
Between your lips you keep me in soft gay
My stature permeates zealous eyes in band

You burn my life casually over tea
I dance and glimmer heartily with sips
You say: “Before you I am the real me.”
My tears linger around your fingertips

Among stars when wonders the lonely moon
I am content to wait for you to light
I know not why some feeling comes so soon
Eager to change to smoke flying at night

Not feeling pity to turn into ash
Still be your cigarette in next life flash

8 comments

Go to the Tryst

Friday, 23. March 2007, 18:31:30


Go to the Tryst


Of gay or sorrows whether at the edge
Always a faint light in my heart I feel
Now weak, now strong burning my soul and pledge
Yet no idea why I keep it so still

The sunset glow ignites the cloudy sky
Its splendid spraying rays that I can’t lam
My skin is scorching hot and my thoughts fly
Again I’m lost and not sure who I am

I hold the flowers full of memories and dreams
With potent passion, to Heaven I lope
Afflatus is inspired by longing beams
To search for Pierian altar of hope

I would not fear if a moth I became
Let me go to the tryst with crimson flame


The first stanza used a few contrarily pairs of vocabulary, providing us with a sense of defiance within her perseverant heart. If a jargon is used, it is called oxymoron ---- "gay – sorrow; faint light; weak – strong". The words were carefully chosen so that the effectiveness of sound rings loud enough to arouse my sensations. “edge”, “pledge” and “feel”, “still”, they, in turn, stirred up my thought in doubting if she would go to the tryst, then, settled me with hammering determination. The sound of “still” is so sturdy that it is a still steel!

Metaphor starts the second stanza, giving the reason why she got such fortitude in her pursuing. The sun, though in its setting stage, enlightened the gloomy sky. She, the persona, is thus, made heavenly happy with such a wonderful thing (person, chat, talk, scenery, wine, merit, pleasant moment, etc. etc, countless in your imagination). Further, the wonder is in such a power, that grabbed her and overwhelmed her, that she couldn't escape.This is such a typical and fine, delicate expression of a female that I, as a female reader myself, could instinctively transfer to my own sense of feminine reserved missishness. How long can this shyness last? I can immediately see she is ready to surrender in front of the power – “skin is scorching hot and” she is on clouds, she has indulged in the enrapt super control.

A shift of perception comes in the first line of 3rd stanza – it is a (memory) dream, which veiled me with darkness. But I won’t be led into any blue because the very next line lifted my heart again. “passion”, “lope”, these two words eased my worries. The 3rd and 4th line followed told us where she gained her strength – the longing, the longing for beauty, the longing for a vigorous life!

The last two lines elevate her great zest in this journey. It also loops with “I hold the flowers full of memories and dreams”. What a beautiful and splendid nirvana it could be if ……

---By Rhapsodia---
March 29,2007

My dear teacher and sister, what should I say to express my infinite gratitude for your graceful comments, which has garnished and shone my works. Though I know my rough one can’t bear such embellishment, yet no doubt it throws me a tonic, which can let me taste a little joy of making a bit of progress and meanwhile divines me encouragement to go further on the journey of learning writing, so thank you, our dear teacher, Rhapsodia~!

Your compelling analysis of my humble lines again let us appreciate your charisma and presence. So thanks, our dear sister for providing such a grand feast and sustenance, which I take a special gift for me~! And also you have read something ineffable and subtle in my lines. What a great mind-reader, my dear sister~!

---By Alicelotus---
March 30,2007

Alicelotus amazed me with this superb poem of 14 lines, a splendid creation in form of English sonnet. Like good sword and steed are always for the real knight, the picture and template make this sonnet even more charming.

I used to do a scansion when a sonnet work was done by some of you, but I don't think I have to make a full scansion to this work this time. For when I read, the beats were there. Such gave me the feeling, and that's just enough.

I used to nag about the rhyming when read a work which should be in strict rhyming scheme by some of you, but I won't say anything about this in this post. For when I read, the effects of sound were there. Such also gave me the feeling, and that's also enough to me, a reader of you.

Suppose, there would be some things non-standard, I still won't be picky here, because, this work proves that you've touched the sonnet. It's only necessary for us to be nagging when learn at the beginning.

Here, let me point out one mistake which you might be still weak at when making a sonnet. See, the second line,

Always a faint light in my heart I feel (Trochee can not be the head of a line in English Sonnet)

There are ten syllables in this line, it begins with a trochee. In this case, it's usually to be made as a headless iamb, hence, there should be 9 syllables in this line, as the first weak beat is omitted.

Or, it's to be rearranged into:

in my HEART ALways a FAINT LIGHT i FEEL.

double iamb /double iamb/iamb

Be my idea correct or not, just a piece of advice.

---By CalmSea---
March 25,2007

I feel much obliged for your lavish and meaningful comments. "the picture and template are good sword and steed, and my sonnet is the real knight", what a simile~! Your felicitous words have woven a wreath for my lines, which are heartily dancing to a euphonious tune.

Thank you, dear CalmSea, for your correction of the second line which is purely due to my carelessness, hehe~! I took "always " for the stress put on the second syllable. Anyway, your nice explananation again clears the definition of "headless iamb".

"in my HEART ALways a FAINT LIGHT i FEEL."

This rearrangement is better. Thanks for your advice~!

---By Alicelotus---
March 26,2007

5 comments

晨吻

Monday, 19. March 2007, 11:16:21



Morning Kiss

In the morn
When a wisp of sunshine
Gently sprays on your face
If you have a sense
That it is my soft kiss

14 comments

鹧鸪天 . 相思---Partridge Sky . Yearning

Friday, 9. March 2007, 16:17:06


Partridge Sky
Yearning

Wisps of setting sunshine blush my countenance,
Tone of the jade flute leisurely brews softness.
Breeze waves the lake and dances willows,
White lotus in the pond intoxicates pavilions.
Having shared joy, I am trapped in the sentimental torture,
In how many dreams, the wish I meet you comes true.
Tonight the rain of yearning again falls,
Its chant is sending my attachment.

---Translated by Alicelotus---
March7,2007

14 comments

羽翼上的泪滴

Friday, 9. March 2007, 08:58:50


Raindrop on Feather

Riding the wings of my dream
I have been intoxicated like midnight clouds
Listening to stars’ whispers
And having wind kissing my crimson face
I am not aware when
The soft feather
Again is attached to
A bead of happy teardrop

---Translated by Alicelotus---
March 7, 2007

3 comments

Happy Women's Day---女人花

Thursday, 8. March 2007, 04:58:40

2 comments

相见欢--- Joy At Meeting

Wednesday, 7. March 2007, 16:36:07


Joy At Meeting

The amorous moon shines the silky curtain.
At the lingering night,
Tears beside the pillow again wet the desolate dream,
and more chill the shadows of clouds.
Neither can I snip nor keep in order the feeling,
which I can’t tear away from.
Slightly I powder myself,
And in a smiling manner retain my countenance.

---Translated by Alicelotus---
March 7, 2007




4 comments

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