Sunday, 20. December 2009, 22:41:11
Friday, 18. December 2009, 11:23:31
school, poetry, alpo, alpofish
...
Take it one day at a time
But not forever or you'll find
That time will waste away
And leave you for dead one day
L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y
This work is all mine, please seek my permission to use it in any way or form.
I applied for college and my car starts acting up

it figures

IF all goes well, I'll be starting school Jan. 1
Tuesday, 15. December 2009, 01:09:35
alpofish, alpo, good deed
I'm a guy of values, set in the old ways...I try to do what's right. I've been hurt in the past but who hasn't? Everything that hurt us has made us who we are. Same is true for the things that made us feel good. I have learned what I know (or think I know) not from mentors but from the falls of others, including my self. You touch a stove and it burns, you've learned something. You see the stove again but don't touch it, you've learned a lesson.
A while back a girl I know, and to this day still adore, did something that I misinterpreted. Her relationship was in shambles and she was sending different signals. I want you, I want him, I want you, him, you, him...you get the idea. We've done the dirty before this man and decided it was best not to hook up ourselves even though it would have made me very happy. So the thought of her sending those signals was great.
After a night of dancing and drinking she asks to have sex. A.K.A. the dirty. I said I don't think that it was a good idea. She rolled away from me and wrenched at my heart. Actions speak louder than words and she was screaming at me by just laying there silent.
I felt like shit, just total shit. Here lays the girl that I wish I could marry, wanting to do the dirty with me, ME, not her shithead boyfriend (who is actually pretty cool...as much as I hate that too), not the guy that's hotter than me that was hitting on her all night, me. There she lays, trying to figure out why I turned her down. I could just hear her thoughts haunting me, "What's wrong with me...relationship down the drain and now the guy who's been obsessed with me since 6th grade won't sleep with me?! I'M EVEN DRUNK! ........What am I fat? Not good enough for him anymore?"
She began to speak. I forget what exactly she said, something self deprecating I think. It made me feel shitty terrible, after all, I was the cause of the comment. So I assured her that there was nothing wrong with her and then snuggled up to her, kissed her neck, and began the mating dance.
The next time I saw her I was going to tell her how bad I felt about what had happened and how it happened. I didn't want to be second place...a plan B...a person that you can fall back when you need the love that another can't provide and it felt good to be number one for once. I brought it up like so, "I need to talk to you about what happened last time we saw each other." Before I could explain, she stated that she felt terrible and that it was wrong.
She went on to explain that she is in a relationship and how terrible she was to let this happen, people shouldn't do that kind of thing, ECT. I was devastated, completely torn apart inside. I felt bad because I rejected her offer but now I felt worse that she feels bad because of him, not me. She used me that night for comfort, she new she could fall back on me and she did but now she feels bad because of what she did to him. I would have torn my heart out right there if it wasn't in a million pieces.
I do feel bad about what I did but it was for different reasons then her. I felt bad for her, she felt bad for him, who felt bad for me? NOBODY. Why should anybody, tho? What I did was wrong, I knew she was still in a relationship, why did I do it? Because I was weak. If I would have said no and stuck with it I wouldn't feel terrible and she wouldn't feel bad.
Recently a different girl, whom I am great friends with, put me in a similar situation (little to her knowledge). She has seen some shit in her lifetime and I'm sure will see more. We go out drinking and go back home and she sends all the signals for mating. I evade them. She then sends obvious signals....ones that the kids can even tell something's up. She was in a fragile state at the time, I'm not just talking about being drunk, a fragile state in her life/emotions. She was seeking the same comfort. I turned it down, turned her away, she kissed me and said that she loves a small part of me. It was a very nice thing to hear but I felt like shit.
She went into her bedroom and I crashed on the couch. Maybe she cried, maybe she passed out, I don't know. I lied there on the couch, staring at the wall assuring myself it was for the best. It was a long night for me but in the morning there wasn't too much awkwardness. I wasn't about to let the same thing happen twice, wasn't about to lose this friendship because of one night of reassurance.
So I guess this post is to tell her that it wasn't because I don't like her enough to do the dirty, I just love her enough to not mess up a good thing. As a post about a previous lady, this girl will probably never hear this. I just needed to get it off of my chest.
Saturday, 12. December 2009, 17:46:15
alpofish, alpo, black plague, a fitting end
Wrap me in rags, I'm not yours to save
Preserve what's left, exhale the dieing breath
Build me a home where my lifeless body roams
Return me to the Earth, I'm starving to death of thirst
Dig my hole with your hands, like a child plays in the sands
Lower me now but don't cry, it only took eight days for me to die.
This work is allllll mine so don't you try to make money off it, or use it in any way.

I'm watching you...
I stumbled across a comic (
Sample of Comic ^.^ ) I've been reading it for about 3 hours now and I clicked on a link that this person posted and it directed me to some songs. I listened and for some odd reason I thought of the Black Plague. I began to wonder how crappy that must have been so I looked it up on Wikipedia and found out that most people died within the first 8 days of getting sick. I have a hangover today so my mood is kinda blah. It seemed to work out for writing a poem based off the Black Plague...maybe it will be remembered like "Ring around the Rosy" Doubt it tho
Thursday, 26. November 2009, 17:48:50
alpofish, alpo, thanksgiving, Firery Furnace Blues
...
Shivering, I woke up, the heat was all gone
I didn't have any money to turn it back on.
I rolled out of bed to wipe my runny nose
The floor was so cold it froze my poor toes!
I tried to jump back in bed but the warmth had left
Even the stuffed animals could see their breath!
I put on my sweater but it was no help
"Turn on the heat ya cheap bastard!", the stuffed animals yelped.
"I can't," I said, "I ran out of cash."
"Well, you'd better think of something and think of it fast!!!"
So now I've got a charity to run,
Please send to: Aaron Hetchler's Fund
2449 Jackson Street Apartment #1

(Please make all checks payable to me!)
Eau Claire, WI. 54703
Thank you for your patronage, your donations will go far!
Straight into the furnace and
not into the bar
This work is all mine, please seek out my permission to use it in any way or form.
Monday, 23. November 2009, 01:35:50
alpofish, alpo
No poem this time but thoughts from within! I was recently trying my luck at local watering holes for someone to hold at night but I came up short. This certainly put a damper on my psych! For me to get enough balls to talk to the opposite sex, in the bar, is rare. I don't want to come off as some drunk male that has so much baby juice pent up inside that it's affecting his brain!
So, I try my luck and get shot down. Ouch. This puts me in a self deprecating mood. Luckily, a buddy of mine, Needles, took me to a bar in Chippewa Falls. I stayed sober and people watched. There are so many stupid people in the world I can't even begin to describe. I just think to myself, "What do these useless people posses that I can't provide!?" SO, I will try an alternate route of action...FUCK it.
FUCK it, is a certain way of thinking where you're just fed up with the opposite sex and you refuse to crawl across the floor only to be torn to shreds by somebody that was probably going to screw you in the end. I don't want to meet someone for one night, I want it to last. I don't need to prove anything to anyone and I've decided not to. This may be the wrong way to go about things but right about now, I don't care!
I will continue to go out and people watch but I'll be damned if I'll be one of THOSE people. I'm special damn it so stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
Saturday, 21. November 2009, 01:20:36
alpofish, ah booze, drink, humor
...
Just like a ship, I crash into the little rocks
Low tide, I'm out of the liquid that keeps me afloat
So cold that it sends me into a shock!
So clear, a transparent antidote!
Look at how the light reflects
Off of the tiny icy specks
It's a wonder how it twists my mind
Into a blunder of emotional masterminds
I still love it, oh yes, love it to death
Much like the people loved their monarch, Macbeth
I would love to put it to rest but "HO!"
That's seventeenth century for no.
It's a love-hate relationship
Much like that of a family member
Once you finally get a grip
The reason why you tried, you just can't remember.
But to get back on track, the problem at hand,
My glass is on empty again!
So forgive me for leaving you to soon
But the liquor is over in the other room!
This is my work, please seek my permission to use this in any way or form.
Monday, 16. November 2009, 01:40:04
poem, music, poems, songs
...
Words fell from your lips, landing on the floor
No more, no more
Keeping up with you was such a chore
But I liked the reward
She talks to me, she talks to me
Her words take form
She talks to me and I am torn
Like a shark, she attacks my heart
Words flow from your eyes, engulfing my soul
No more, no more
To seek shelter I turn on the radio
Nowhere else I can go
She talks to me, she talks to me
Her words take form
She talks to me and I am torn
Like a shark, she attacks my heart
~Fin~
This is my work, please ask my permission for use in anyway or form.
Just a little something I thought up while cooking. I remember my last love would sing "When you say nothing at all" (I think that's what it's called), a country song. Eyes and actions talk an awful lot, even when we don't mean what they say. Hold on, I gotta get the cookies out of the oven...k, I'm back. Anywho, the second verse I thought up from people crying. "Words flow from your eyes, engulfing my soul", the thought process here was not so much that tears represent words but more or less a lack of words. I attended a wake/funeral lately and I was fine through both, until the end. Before I got up to the casket to pay my respects, I talked to his son whom is my age and I know them both well. I was at a lack of words. I just said, "Wow...I can't believe it. The world lost a good man." Not the best words you could give a son in mourning. Now keep in mind that this guy who died was like a father to me, I loved him very much. It's just, I got brought up in a broken atmosphere where it was wrong or looked down upon to show "weak" emotions. I'm getting better at showing emotion as life goes on but back to the story...I finally got to the casket after giving his son a hug. I knelt down and paid my respects. I uttered no words but just thoughts and emotions from my head.
Once I got up I could feel myself chocking up. Once I got outside, away from the crowds, I was crying. Once I got to my car I was balling. You can't define that much emotion, there are no words for it. So the words and emotions fall with the tears.
The chorus, "...her words take form...", was thought up because words have so many different forms. Words are dead, they have no emotions, it is us who give it emotion. For instance, if you told someone to goto hell with a smile on your face, they would most likely take that as a joke. You say the same thing with scorn and someone is angered or hurt. In this particular chorus, her words are taking the form of a shark. Which brings us to the end of the chorus, "..like a shark, she attacks my heart.." She could say the meanest things sometimes! I'm sure I said a lot of things that hurt her too. I guess we never know how much we hurt a person just with words. The title for this, "A Shiver of Words", a "shiver" is a pack of sharks. Thought was a montage of words in the form of sharks...I guess? To sum it all up, I'm going to get a ferret and name it Beans Bojangles. Mr. Bojangles will be a very pampered pet indeed!
Sunday, 1. November 2009, 21:45:04
poem, alpofish, alpo, halloween
...
Sorry, this is a little late but I just thought of it!
Hopped up on sugar, tricks, and treats
I began to run naked through the streets
Screaming and yelling so the dead could hear it
I felt I was in the Halloween spirit.
Well, before I continue, I just want you to know,
The officers I'm about to mention were incognito.
So anyways, as I was enjoying the night
Some clown and a doctor read me my rights.
Next thing I know I was in a car heading "downtown"
Must have been the doctor's, it was too big to be the clown's.
They gave me a suit of black and white stripes
I smiled and said I already have a costume tonight

You'd think a clown could take a joke!
This is all my own, please don't use it unless you get my permission...
Saturday, 24. October 2009, 02:41:57
alpofish, alpo, amusing
An eight legged bug, a spider perhaps,
Found itself under my shoe, KER-SPLATS
After I heard it's body go "pop"
A question ran through my mangy mop...
"I wonder if, before they die,
If even spiders shriek out a bone chilling cry?"
I then imagined the pain I'd go through
Right before my body got squashed by a shoe.....
.........................................................................
.....................What would my mother think?
Just a little poem I wrote today. I clean windows professionally so I come across a lot of spiders. Yesterday I was cleaning this beautiful home and when I wiped the frame of the window it would kill the spiders. These spiders were just big enough that when I killed them, you'd hear a small pop! At first I thought it was funny but then I thought of how it must feel to have your body explode in such a fashion...hence, the idea to the poem. Kind of useless but amusing all the same, goodnight.
Tuesday, 25. August 2009, 16:24:17
alpofish, alpo
Found guilty when the gavel fell
They sentenced me to a lifetime in hell
So now I'm running for that border line
I got to make it out, I ain't doing time
For seven days I've been on the road
Hitch-hiking down to Mexico
I made it all the way to New Orleans
That's where I saw the woman of my dreams
I walked over in my tattered clothes
Hair a mess with a runny nose
I smiled, then I said, "Hello,
I wanna marry you down in Mexico."
It took some time but she agreed to go
I stole a car and we hit the road
I told her everything except for one
I never let her know that I was on the run
Twenty miles before Mexico
In a town that nobody knows
She must have saw the reward sign
Because the cops came and got me now I'm doin' time
I've tried to run, I've tried to escape
From this prison ball and chain
I've got to run down to New Orleans
I know a rich, pretty, lady who said she'd marry me.
Tuesday, 18. August 2009, 01:48:48
smile, alpofish, alpo, hokey pokey
*breathes in the positive, exhales the negative*
Sometimes I feel down, I'm human, I'm sure you can understand that. I'm usually a positive person that can make just about anybody, in any mood, laugh. I have a very addicting personality. So when I feel down, people notice that I'm not bouncing off the walls.

Poor people, they ask me what's wrong and act like I'm broken. I'm grateful but everybody has off days. I just need some time to work through the rough stuff

.
I was feeling a little down the last couple of days and people noticed. I told them I was tired (they didn't believe me but they left me alone after a while). I worked through the problems in my head and calmed myself down. Today I took a breath in and realized what a good job I've been doing on handling problems without the aid of drinking

I exhale and smile. Much like the hokey pokey, that's what it's all about.
Sunday, 16. August 2009, 13:01:58
alpofish, alpo, ebay, effects petal
Raise your hand if you window shop

! Window shopping for me was family fun night,

. I enjoy it to this day and sometimes I'll actually buy something

. I've recently found this great way to buy some things and I am willing to let you in on the

gooooooods
I like to go to the pawn shop and see what they have. I like to look at it like this -->

because it's just too expensive for a used item! One day, I'm in the shop looking at effect petals for the guitar and I spot a nice one

....

Maybe I'll just look at the price

Hundred-fifty clams!??!!

I do need a petal, especially one with a built in drum machine.
So, I take down the name of this product, GNX2 (incase you wanted to take a look). I then go home and look it up on ebay.

Roughly fifty bucks

Ebay my love, let us never part
By this time, I'm feeling pretty sneaky

. But I haven't won it yet so wish me luck, so far the bid is thirty dollars, including the shipping.
I realized the thing about ebay was that you can't hold the product or see it for real before you buy it! Go to the pawn shop, pick up the product, touch it, put it down and go to ebay

But you didn't hear it from me
Why is a pirate like a pirate?

Because they aaarrrrrrrrhhh
Thursday, 13. August 2009, 05:44:32
alpofish, alpo
The wind doth whisper upon an ear of blue
Twas cold, this night, without you
As is everyday, sun or no
No use for tears that stain the face
For salty trails cannot replace
They only dampen the mood
Don't feel as if I am near
My heart and mind steer clear
And I'm torn apart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know...maybe a cry for patience. Why do I think of her alllll the time? A little old for "high school romances" aren't I? Grrrrrrr <----that's me growling
Wednesday, 5. August 2009, 04:04:18
alpofish, alpo, happy

Happy enough for ya?

Seriously now...well, as serious as I can get.
I'm going to see my buddy in Mill-walk-ee. I don't know how to spell it

It'll be a grand time of joy, fun, and happiness. It always feels good to see old friends...so, why don't you make yourself feel better and try to get in touch with that old friend

Remember the simple times, or die trying
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