Starting a fresh

Abigail Rosanna was born on Friday 1st August 2008 at 11.55pm weighing 8lb 4oz after a 3 hour labour using the birthing pool.....welcome to the world little one xxxx

Why is the feeling of guilt so large when the mistress contacted my other half to inform him that she had breast cancer and is scared...why??? how on earth can he help her? she is not even in the same country......and we have both been through this before..him with his beloved sister who died from it at 39 and my own mother who has survived it at 60...does she really think he is going to drop everything to console her and help her through this??? and is he wrong if he doesn't because of what she has put us through in the last 2 years?? and am I to blame if he doesn't...does that make me a callous cow because I happen to think she should be turning to her husband for the reassurance that she seeks not her ex lover?? Don't get me wrong I have every sympathy with her but is she being unfair to burden us with this????

Remembrance[/ALIGN]




As I watch my children,
I think back to a time,
When I was as young as they are,
The gleam that’s in their eyes.

I thought that I knew everything,
My parents didn’t understand,
They couldn’t know what I know,
I brushed away their hands.

The day that I got married was a happy one for me,
I thought I knew my husband, that we were meant to be,
But there was a side of him that I couldn’t see,
A side that if you had told me, I would never have believed.

The deceit that comes with secrets,
Rips apart the love and trust,
Makes mockery of marriage vows
And breaks the strong at heart.

But watching as my children grow
I see myself in them
I pray that they will listen
And won’t make the mistakes I have.
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I have finally got rid of bebo and facebook, there is less temptation to see what the other woman is writing and get upset over it, stupid I know but there is always the question of what was wrong with me that my partner had to have an affair with her and as it hadn't been the first time someone had cheated on me you start to wonder if it is you, however her parting words (after she had been in touch with a friend of ours that she has never met) was that it was childish to stop her being friends with this person and my partners daughter???? is it childish to want the mistress right out of our lives??? Is it wrong to expect her to have some dignity and move on completely? I understand that she was not entirely to blame but it takes two and she must shoulder half of the responsibility of what happened and stop playing the victim!!!!It has been two years, grow up, move on and get a life.....Whos being childish???

Oh dear quite alot of work to do but it will be worth it..... Rotavators due in soon and then I can start....yay:lol: