My Opera<greeting> Hello </greeting>
Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:03:28 PM
Hello, I'm Andy and you are reading my first ever blog. I think I should start with a bit about me. Let's see, I'm 14, have no sense of fashion, no social life, and I am usually classified as a geek. And so straight away, you are dying to read on 
. As I said, my name is Andy, but I have gone by many other names in my time. These are a few examples:
That's just off the top of my head, I'm sure there's plenty more. Anyway, I am half-Welsh (I've never had a relationship with a sheep) and half-English. I live in my house in the lovely little town of Fareham in Southern England with my mummy and daddy and my dipshit of a brother. I go to a good school with a load of friends, none of which are as smart as me . I was actually rather annoyed recently when people began to question my intelligence, claiming that the girl in one of the other classes was smarter than me! I knew these were false accusations but it does not even matter now as she moved to New Zealand. Despite knowing she was moving months in advance, she did all her coursework and exams? Anywho I am an A* student and officially the smartest in my year. I'd just like to say; MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Now that that is out of my system, more about me. I like video games because I am THAT COOL, and I also like maths. Once again, it is because I am truly, THAT COOL! My hobbies include playing the guitar and karate! However, I gave up guitar because I was shit and I have not been to karate in months. I'm one belt away from black belt, but I know I'm not nearly fit enough to take the grading. To many twixes I think. Also, I have to pay £20 to take the grading!? Seeing as I know that I will fail, I'd rather have my £20. I am quite creative I think. I'm okay at drawing (but cannot draw a human hand because ITS IMPOSSIBLE!) but this Christmas, I recieved a video camera (YAYWOOHOOZOMGITSSOCOOL). And what do you do with video cameras? YOU FILM THINGS! And being a sucker for internet memes, I decided to film myself dancing around to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up and then put it on youtube. Once again, I'm THAT COOL! Click here if you want to see it however it may not be suitable to viewers of below 18 years of age. Now, if you have just watched that video, you may be under the impression that I am a bit of a dweeb. Basically, you're right. The StarWars poster in the background is total proof. You may also be thinking, how can this guy have any friends? Well, that is a very interesting question. The answer is probably considerably less interesting, but I will tell you anyways. It was a long time ago, when I was in year 6. There I was, cold and alone. The fat geek was not allowed to play football with the other guys. As I looked towards the idiots trying to kick a sponge ball that had been reduced to a mis-shaped blob of fluff, I thought to myself, "I don't need this shit." And so came secondary school; the perfect chance to reinvent myself, start again with a clean sheet, be who I was never allowed to be. I never let up that I was a total nerd. During the first few weeks, many of the girls had a thing for me. Somehow. But after consistently good grades and my top button being done up, my true identity was revealed. I had failed in my task. Once more, I was "the fat geek". So I took a step back. Observed what made other people likeable. Fotunately for me, I had an old friend who everybody like for one reason: he was funny. However, I noticed that it did not matter what he would say. Simply because he said it, people found it funny. If I had said something just as funny, there would be 0 response. I knew that to be funny, you had to have a reputation as "funny". So I tried to be funny as well. The first few months, I failed miserably. Bad joke after embarrasment after another bad joke. I then realised that I could easily make people laugh. I could make them laugh at me, but they were laughing nonetheless. All I had to do was humiliate myself. I accepted nicknames such as "Santa Claus", said about how I had bigger boobs than some of the girls and if anyone was laughing at me, I'd laugh as well. Within time, I had gained a "funny" reputation and the need to humiliate myself was gone. From then on my circle of friends broardened, from my class, to my half of the year, to the whole year. I suppose being in a school where there are more normal people than chavs helped. Anyway, I say to all you loner-geeks out there, don't give up. The minds of "popular" people are weak. Keep trying, and may the force be with you! Because to be honest, there is nothing more annoying, than someone who sits in the corner and cries because someone called them a nasty name. Speaking of things which are annoying, I'd like to move on to my parents. I am doing the best in my whole year. However, this is not good enough for them. My brother is pretty average. When he got a C for most of his GCSEs its "Well Done!" If I get a C for my GCSEs, I'm a discrace. I've failed. Also, it doesn't matter how well or shit I do, because my brother will allways be the favourite, simply because he knows how to work a washing machine. It really pisses me off. And also, when my brother had exams coming up, he had to write everything out and have mum teach him everything again. For some reason she thinks she has to do this with me as well. SO ANNOYING! She doesn't understand that if I have forgotten something from the topic (which is rare), a quick look at the summary in the textbook is enough to bring everything back. But no, she has to go through everything, word by word. I even proved that I don't need the constant revision by refusing her service for the science exams. What did I get? Full marks in all three exams. But you can bet your bottom dollar that she will insist on reading every book to me for the next exam. Coming to think of it, it doesn't have to be for an exam either. For example, I got a piece of science homework which was to find about water as a source of energy. Easy; hydroelectric from dams, tidal from barrarges. However, my mum for some reason decides that I need to write an essay. So, out come the CGP KS3 and KS4 science books, out comes the AQA revision and textbook, out comes the AQA geography books and all the encyclopedias. It would have been easier to just go to the library to be honest. Another thing my mum does which is annoying, is that I get £20 a month pocket money. (£10 if I've been a naughty boy). The problem is, I can rarely buy my own stuff. I'd rather get £40 a month and have to buy everything for myself. This is a major cause for my lack of fashion. My parents will say "we're going shopping if you want to come". I assume they're going to TESCO's to buy some sausages or something. They don't bother to tell me that they're going to buy clothes that I will be wearing. So I say no and when they come back I am presented with TESCO jeans and ASDA t-shirts. My favourite. There is a solution though. Get a job. However, I'm too fat to get a paper round and not old enough to work in a shop. GRRRRRR! So, I have devised a system so that I only wear my "best" clothes. While some are in the wash (being sorted out by my brother), I can wear the others. This makes sure I don't get caught wearing a red t-shirt with George written across it. Oh my god though, I'll tell you something good that happened recently: I GOT NEW DRAWERS! There really cool and big but I could not be in my bedroom for about a week while my Pauj (my dad) assembled them. To be honest, I don't think I have enough stuff to put in them. I have like, two drawers for boxers and two drawers for socks. I have one drawer allocated to jumpers. It has my only jumper in and nothing else. They do however provide a good hiding place for the knife. Basically, I have this wooden knife which I use to practice knife defences at karate. A few months ago, my brother liked to grab hold of the knife, sneak up on me and stab me. (He's 17 by the way). Despite the fact that I always took the knife off him and stabbed him back, it was quite annoying, so I've hidden the knife in a secret location which I am forbidden to tell you. Since then however its been: Andy, where's the knife? Where's the knife? GIVE ME THE KNIFE! I'm not sure what's more annoying, the stabbing or the constant bothering. Also, my brother still doesn't have a job so I get this all the time during the weekends and there's no escape from it either because I usually only go out once a month. I'm THAT COOL! So that's probably my life in a nutshell. Or maybe an eggshell, I haven't decided yet because a nutshell might be a bit too small. Unless its a coconut shell, in which case it would be considerably bigger than eggshell. Do coconuts even have shells? Anyway, I think this will be all for now, I'll probably add things weekly, maybe a bit longer because not enough happens in my life to make it worth updating this most days. And good timing also, because my tea is ready.
Bye for now!
. As I said, my name is Andy, but I have gone by many other names in my time. These are a few examples:- Andy Pandy
- Johounder the Man Leopard
- Moob Boy
- Andreo
- Round Head
- Freaky Beverage
- Zip Shoes
- King Kong
- Santa Claus
That's just off the top of my head, I'm sure there's plenty more. Anyway, I am half-Welsh (I've never had a relationship with a sheep) and half-English. I live in my house in the lovely little town of Fareham in Southern England with my mummy and daddy and my dipshit of a brother. I go to a good school with a load of friends, none of which are as smart as me
. I was actually rather annoyed recently when people began to question my intelligence, claiming that the girl in one of the other classes was smarter than me! I knew these were false accusations but it does not even matter now as she moved to New Zealand. Despite knowing she was moving months in advance, she did all her coursework and exams? Anywho I am an A* student and officially the smartest in my year. I'd just like to say; MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Now that that is out of my system, more about me. I like video games because I am THAT COOL, and I also like maths. Once again, it is because I am truly, THAT COOL! My hobbies include playing the guitar and karate! However, I gave up guitar because I was shit and I have not been to karate in months. I'm one belt away from black belt, but I know I'm not nearly fit enough to take the grading. To many twixes I think. Also, I have to pay £20 to take the grading!? Seeing as I know that I will fail, I'd rather have my £20. I am quite creative I think. I'm okay at drawing (but cannot draw a human hand because ITS IMPOSSIBLE!) but this Christmas, I recieved a video camera (YAYWOOHOOZOMGITSSOCOOL). And what do you do with video cameras? YOU FILM THINGS! And being a sucker for internet memes, I decided to film myself dancing around to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up and then put it on youtube. Once again, I'm THAT COOL! Click here if you want to see it however it may not be suitable to viewers of below 18 years of age. Now, if you have just watched that video, you may be under the impression that I am a bit of a dweeb. Basically, you're right. The StarWars poster in the background is total proof. You may also be thinking, how can this guy have any friends? Well, that is a very interesting question. The answer is probably considerably less interesting, but I will tell you anyways. It was a long time ago, when I was in year 6. There I was, cold and alone. The fat geek was not allowed to play football with the other guys. As I looked towards the idiots trying to kick a sponge ball that had been reduced to a mis-shaped blob of fluff, I thought to myself, "I don't need this shit." And so came secondary school; the perfect chance to reinvent myself, start again with a clean sheet, be who I was never allowed to be. I never let up that I was a total nerd. During the first few weeks, many of the girls had a thing for me. Somehow. But after consistently good grades and my top button being done up, my true identity was revealed. I had failed in my task. Once more, I was "the fat geek". So I took a step back. Observed what made other people likeable. Fotunately for me, I had an old friend who everybody like for one reason: he was funny. However, I noticed that it did not matter what he would say. Simply because he said it, people found it funny. If I had said something just as funny, there would be 0 response. I knew that to be funny, you had to have a reputation as "funny". So I tried to be funny as well. The first few months, I failed miserably. Bad joke after embarrasment after another bad joke. I then realised that I could easily make people laugh. I could make them laugh at me, but they were laughing nonetheless. All I had to do was humiliate myself. I accepted nicknames such as "Santa Claus", said about how I had bigger boobs than some of the girls and if anyone was laughing at me, I'd laugh as well. Within time, I had gained a "funny" reputation and the need to humiliate myself was gone. From then on my circle of friends broardened, from my class, to my half of the year, to the whole year. I suppose being in a school where there are more normal people than chavs helped. Anyway, I say to all you loner-geeks out there, don't give up. The minds of "popular" people are weak. Keep trying, and may the force be with you! Because to be honest, there is nothing more annoying, than someone who sits in the corner and cries because someone called them a nasty name. Speaking of things which are annoying, I'd like to move on to my parents. I am doing the best in my whole year. However, this is not good enough for them. My brother is pretty average. When he got a C for most of his GCSEs its "Well Done!" If I get a C for my GCSEs, I'm a discrace. I've failed. Also, it doesn't matter how well or shit I do, because my brother will allways be the favourite, simply because he knows how to work a washing machine. It really pisses me off. And also, when my brother had exams coming up, he had to write everything out and have mum teach him everything again. For some reason she thinks she has to do this with me as well. SO ANNOYING! She doesn't understand that if I have forgotten something from the topic (which is rare), a quick look at the summary in the textbook is enough to bring everything back. But no, she has to go through everything, word by word. I even proved that I don't need the constant revision by refusing her service for the science exams. What did I get? Full marks in all three exams. But you can bet your bottom dollar that she will insist on reading every book to me for the next exam. Coming to think of it, it doesn't have to be for an exam either. For example, I got a piece of science homework which was to find about water as a source of energy. Easy; hydroelectric from dams, tidal from barrarges. However, my mum for some reason decides that I need to write an essay. So, out come the CGP KS3 and KS4 science books, out comes the AQA revision and textbook, out comes the AQA geography books and all the encyclopedias. It would have been easier to just go to the library to be honest. Another thing my mum does which is annoying, is that I get £20 a month pocket money. (£10 if I've been a naughty boy). The problem is, I can rarely buy my own stuff. I'd rather get £40 a month and have to buy everything for myself. This is a major cause for my lack of fashion. My parents will say "we're going shopping if you want to come". I assume they're going to TESCO's to buy some sausages or something. They don't bother to tell me that they're going to buy clothes that I will be wearing. So I say no and when they come back I am presented with TESCO jeans and ASDA t-shirts. My favourite. There is a solution though. Get a job. However, I'm too fat to get a paper round and not old enough to work in a shop. GRRRRRR! So, I have devised a system so that I only wear my "best" clothes. While some are in the wash (being sorted out by my brother), I can wear the others. This makes sure I don't get caught wearing a red t-shirt with George written across it. Oh my god though, I'll tell you something good that happened recently: I GOT NEW DRAWERS! There really cool and big but I could not be in my bedroom for about a week while my Pauj (my dad) assembled them. To be honest, I don't think I have enough stuff to put in them. I have like, two drawers for boxers and two drawers for socks. I have one drawer allocated to jumpers. It has my only jumper in and nothing else. They do however provide a good hiding place for the knife. Basically, I have this wooden knife which I use to practice knife defences at karate. A few months ago, my brother liked to grab hold of the knife, sneak up on me and stab me. (He's 17 by the way). Despite the fact that I always took the knife off him and stabbed him back, it was quite annoying, so I've hidden the knife in a secret location which I am forbidden to tell you. Since then however its been: Andy, where's the knife? Where's the knife? GIVE ME THE KNIFE! I'm not sure what's more annoying, the stabbing or the constant bothering. Also, my brother still doesn't have a job so I get this all the time during the weekends and there's no escape from it either because I usually only go out once a month. I'm THAT COOL! So that's probably my life in a nutshell. Or maybe an eggshell, I haven't decided yet because a nutshell might be a bit too small. Unless its a coconut shell, in which case it would be considerably bigger than eggshell. Do coconuts even have shells? Anyway, I think this will be all for now, I'll probably add things weekly, maybe a bit longer because not enough happens in my life to make it worth updating this most days. And good timing also, because my tea is ready.Bye for now!
Alex GAlexyGalaxy # Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:52:29 PM
Ben MullinsBenMullins # Wednesday, January 28, 2009 7:10:32 PM
Had to be said. BTW, i still havnt read all of that novel up there!
Ben
ArtemArtemHP # Thursday, January 29, 2009 1:00:40 PM
JessAzziiee # Monday, March 2, 2009 6:57:14 PM
If you get out the hose more, you get away from your brother, and your mum' revision tips, or try getting a lock on your door and never coming out?
Jess x