Martin K™

Interesting Conversational Topics

Sunday, January 29, 2012 8:47:43 PM

dinner, conversation, urban culture, family

Here is a list of conversational topics:

Personal experiences with bladder/bowel issues
Personal experiences with fungal infections
Personal experiences with wounds/contrusions
Organic waste
Biofluids (in general)
Human/animal feces (in general)
Decomposition of organic matter
Animal carcasses
Human corpses/cadavers
Death, burrial, mortuary, autopsy, etc.
Insects, worms, maggots, mites, etc.
Bizarre accidents

Now, what do all these interesting subjects have in common?

Yes, bingo, they are topics that you would not pick at the dinner table.

Except, of course, if you are a male member of my family, that is our two sons and me.

Yes, I know, it does not sound particularly mature, but those topics are actually quite interesting. Surely, dinner is perhaps not the best circumstance for immersing into such matters, but then again what circumstance is?

It drives my wife insane.

After all, she is a woman of culture. She listens to classical music and reads intellectual magazines. She even leaves her shoes at the entrance. And, as everybody knows, the lady of the house often sets the standards for basic behavior in a household.

But still, these topics have a way of surfacing when we gather round the dinner table.

It is inevitable.

Sorry...

Do you have any inapproriate conversational topics that have a way of emerging at the dinner table?

Evolutional Back SlapNative Scandinavian Design

Comments

Spaggyj # Monday, January 30, 2012 12:45:15 AM

Hmmm, we don't really dine with more than just the two of us often, but topics do stray towards poop and dead things in general before someone realises it's perhaps not appropriate

H82typ # Monday, January 30, 2012 1:45:34 AM

Sort of like the offtopic conversations (or the decay into offtopic convos) here on Opera.
There have been inappropriate... odors... detected where I work that are usually attributed (rightly or wrongly) to me...

FlaRin # Monday, January 30, 2012 7:03:01 AM

A conversation about animal rights as we happily hoe into our pork chops always strikes me as a little inappropriate

Darkogdare # Monday, January 30, 2012 3:22:06 PM

No, we are usually too hungry to talk

Edward Piercyedwardpiercy # Monday, January 30, 2012 6:42:04 PM

Death, burrial, mortuary, autopsy, etc.

I assume that would include beheadings, or amputation of any or all body parts, accidental or intentional.

http://my.opera.com/edwardpiercy/homes/files/Addams-Family-1.jpg -

Martin K™Aqualion # Monday, January 30, 2012 7:02:58 PM

Originally posted by edwardpiercy:

I assume that would include beheadings, or amputation of any or all body parts, accidental or intentional.

It does not have the magnitude of The Adams Family.

However, Simon, Benjamin and me are all devoted horror film fans, and no one would mind if a mom and her daughters were discussing Jane Austen movies at the dinner table, would they?

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Monday, January 30, 2012 7:31:15 PM

I still haven't reassembled mine since In moved in June 2010.

Martin K™Aqualion # Monday, January 30, 2012 7:38:53 PM

Don't worry, Gav. You do not need a dinner table to dine properly.

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_38yE7qD7XfU/SbGRjSyafsI/AAAAAAAABKg/za-UjtKN5WM/toilet_1_thumb%5B19%5D.jpg -

Edward Piercyedwardpiercy # Monday, January 30, 2012 7:42:01 PM

Originally posted by Aqualion:

and no one would mind if a mom and her daughters were discussing Jane Austen movies at the dinner table, would they?

I would mind, definitely. Austen -- bleah!

Martin K™Aqualion # Monday, January 30, 2012 8:04:32 PM

Originally posted by edwardpiercy:

I would mind, definitely. Austen -- bleah!

My wife has just about all Jane Austen film adaptions, and I have seen perhaps 35 minutes of one of them, and I don't get it. Period pieces (especially Victorian) without werewolfs or time traveling is just nonsense, I mean... Oops, just remembered, that I like Dickens a lot.

Gavin Tripp-Sheedygarlingmatthews # Monday, January 30, 2012 8:19:55 PM

I haven't tried that yet. Time saving...

Bad WolfCois # Monday, January 30, 2012 9:09:06 PM

hmmm.. we've always been silent and watching the tv..

.
This could explain me always looking for a tv in a restaurant..

Martin K™Aqualion # Monday, January 30, 2012 11:12:35 PM

I've always found dining while watching television highly uncivilized. If somebody made an effort cooking a meal, it's disrespectful to just shove it in your face whilst watching 'Friends'. Food is the second most important thing to all mortal beings, and putting TV watching above food is submission to the emptiness of existence.

FlaRin # Tuesday, January 31, 2012 6:00:17 AM

Originally posted by Lion:

If somebody made an efford cooking a meal...

My sentiments exactly. If eating alone, I make little effort, usually just having a sandwich (at best) and watching a movie (I just don't watch TV) - if I'm not alone, I prepare the meal with love, care and consideration - and it secretly grieves me somewhat if it's found to be lacking...food - or the preparation of food for family - is love, in a way

Martin K™Aqualion # Tuesday, January 31, 2012 7:19:40 PM

Cooking is alchemy.

Plus, it is basic common sense to respect the cook. Number one: the cook is often frighteningly good with knives. Number two: the cook knows what to put in food to cause an extremely painful and humiliating death.

Just saying.

FlaRin # Friday, February 3, 2012 12:51:54 PM

Powdered glass in the casserole is always a good means to a particular end

Bad WolfCois # Friday, February 3, 2012 5:02:31 PM

*shrugs* we were raised with a tv for a babysitter. Everyone was always busy if it wasn't work it's something else.
I forgot to mention we never ate together in front of the tv right?

Mad Scientistqlue # Saturday, February 4, 2012 9:27:45 AM

Martin? Are you dissin' the South African tradition of dining in front of the tv?

Bad WolfCois # Saturday, February 4, 2012 11:06:52 AM

Martin K™Aqualion # Saturday, February 4, 2012 1:31:12 PM

Originally posted by qlue:

Martin? Are you dissin' the South African tradition of dining in front of the tv?

No, I am dissin' the international tradition of dining in front of the tv. Actually, it is a daily struggle, since all family members, except me, seem to enjoy tv dinners. I don't understand it. The area around the coffee table, incl. the sofa, becomes a mess of crumbs, and I fucking hate vacuum cleaning the sofa. If you sit at a proper dinner table, perhaps even with some kind of table cloth, cleaning up after dinner becomes a lesser problem.

Mad Scientistqlue # Saturday, February 4, 2012 6:11:21 PM

Originally posted by Aqualion:

The area around the coffee table, incl. the sofa, becomes a mess of crumbs, and I fucking hate vacuum cleaning the sofa. If you sit at a proper dinner table, perhaps even with some kind of table cloth, cleaning up after dinner becomes a lesser problem.

You're meant to put the food into your mouth and not throw it around!

Martin K™Aqualion # Saturday, February 4, 2012 6:34:58 PM

Originally posted by qlue:

You're meant to put the food into your mouth and not throw it around!

Exactly!

However, with eyes fixed on whatever episode of whatever sit-com on the screen, stuff will fall from the plate, the fork and the mouth unto floor, table, sofa, sofa plaid, cussions, and as people get up the stuff which dropped in the lap will fall to the floor. A vast quantity of this matter will be kicked around on the floor and some of it will disappear under the sofa where it will stay (and sometimes evolve several stages) until someone (guess who) comes around with the hoover.

All this will decrease if you sit at a dinner table, where most cuisine residue can be removed with a moist cloth.

FlaRin # Saturday, February 4, 2012 8:13:51 PM

Well said. Carpets do not as a rule improve with the addition of shreds of chicken, breadcrusts, splashes of gravy, mayonnaise, Remoulade etc., small cubes of ham and a variety of mixed vegetables. I know this to be true.

Mad Scientistqlue # Saturday, February 4, 2012 9:05:28 PM

Originally posted by Aqualion:

However, with eyes fixed on whatever episode of whatever sit-com on the screen,

Generally its the news or a cooking show. We'd usually to busy watching the dogs or they'll steal food from your plate!

.
(

. This is at my brother's house)

Martin K™Aqualion # Sunday, February 5, 2012 6:47:09 AM

@Fla

Are we the last members of a dying race? Could it be, that you and me are the sole survivors of an otherwise lost civilisation, witnessing the downfall of humanity and the conclusion of Culture as we knew and appreciated it?

Or are we just a couple of grumpy old women?

@Aadil

I respect you for your honesty. I appreciate your verification of my prejudice towards South Africans. It's very comforting...

Bad WolfCois # Sunday, February 5, 2012 9:52:33 AM

i'm voting for grumpy old women..

Martin K™Aqualion # Sunday, February 5, 2012 12:22:56 PM

http://4photos.net/photosv2/old_woman_1274851770.jpg -

There are striking similarities... Honestly, there are...

Mad Scientistqlue # Sunday, February 5, 2012 3:26:49 PM

@Lion. If there wasn't rules against it I'd take a photo of Killer. Just to prove that you have a perfect doppelganger in a South African jail.

Edward Piercyedwardpiercy # Sunday, February 5, 2012 4:23:58 PM

Originally posted by Aqualion:

Are we the last members of a dying race? Could it be, that you and me are the sole survivors of an otherwise lost civilisation, witnessing the downfall of humanity and the conclusion of Culture as we knew and appreciated it?

Well you're pretty close on that one I think.

Martin K™Aqualion # Sunday, February 12, 2012 9:38:28 AM

Originally posted by qlue:

you have a perfect doppelganger in a South African jail.

You keep saying that, so I guess my resemblance to this guy is striking. Goes to show what I always thought: If I ever met my doppleganger, he'd probably be a right bastard, and I have this idea that we'd probably end up in a fight, one killing the other. There can be only one, you know

. I'm pretty confident knowing my doppleganger is in a South African jail under supervision of somebody I know and who I am in almost daily contact with.

This way, I know I won't meet him by accident some day.

Mad Scientistqlue # Monday, February 13, 2012 4:29:15 PM

You can read about him here.
And the real reason behind the 'reason' he is still in jail is here!

H82typ # Monday, February 13, 2012 10:33:38 PM

He better watch his back, ya know? Aadil, how come I can't find an image of him?

Mad Scientistqlue # Thursday, February 16, 2012 4:31:59 PM

South African law makes it illegal to take photos of prisoners. (or, at least, a hell of a lot of red tape.

)
otherwise I might have arranged a photoshoot myself.

Bad WolfCois # Thursday, February 16, 2012 6:00:20 PM

*hears 'vyfster's' music playing in the background.*

Martin K™Aqualion # Thursday, February 16, 2012 6:52:37 PM

Two life terms... Guess, that means he is staying where he is, and since he's almost sixty I take it he will kick the bucket before he is released.

By the way, I never did time myself. I've known quite a few inmates over the years, but never had to do time behind bars. Never really did anything criminal.