for my beloved Dik Yan
Monday, 9. March 2009, 13:46:58
Looking back through our past,
it makes me smile,
everytime i imagined you sleeping while sujud during tarawikh prayer when you were small and tiny,
it makes me smile,
when i heard your voice saying "dario" when you actually meant "radio"...
it spooked me,
everytime i recall the time when ibu scold me for leaving u behind at the side of the road when we play basikal every petang when we were small...
it makes me shiver,
recalling the day i accidentally dropped u on the glass table until u received 15 stitches on your chin, i know i was clumsy when trying to carry u on my back... but i was just trying to make you happy...
it makes me cry,
recalling getting into quarrel when you are too tired to go to mosque while i have my duty to do so... ibu ayah and iman weren't around ... and im too scared to leave you behind alone at home... at the same time i have love for Allah with all my heart... i hope you understand my inner conflict...
it makes me guilty,
recalling the day when i was too tired to help u in dapur when u sweat it all out even after a long day in school... sorry for my selfishness...
it makes me pray,
thinking of your well being living a life alone without abg iman and abg ayub around... and i dua for your well being under the guardian of Allah SWT The One... and to make you a much more faithful daughter and sister...
and if i cannot make it before my next meeting with you...
i just want you to know that i love you in the softest spot of my ruh ...
care for you with the tenderness of my heart ...
and i hope to see you happy and well on the other side...
salam,
abang ayub..
i hope u r reading this...







