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ごめんね 。。。

zzzzzzzzzzz ......

start to get a bit serious, would ya ?

ええとう、さいきん とても ひま ですから 。。。。。 uh ooh ?
forgot, so hard to fight against the nasty force of habits.
i'm free for a few days and when I got in I suddenly found the greeny green panel in front of my eyes quite inspiring , I'll start to make this blogging thing a bit more serious, I'm not abandoning it this time.

I think I should talk more about myself, no one want to talk to some one whose profile is as pretty as a blank page anyway. Get set, go .

1/ Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue. My Japanese is not very good, so would you be so kind make it all in English for me ?

2/ See that ? No personal specific information like age, location, job, ... comes out of this person mouth, so take your time guessing, people.

3/ Read what ever I write if you want, but before commenting try to put yourself in my place, and cut out the non-stop comparing "you like this you're still whining" crap, I don't need your sermon, I know it too well to cheer myself up in the bad times. Everyone has their circumstances, I don't have to spit out everything I got in my head, even if I do know, what makes you think I'd care ?

4/ That's why, I'm the kind of person who believe that there's no way someday, one day, any day is so terrible that I'd call it the end of the world (although in a few couple thousands of years afterward it'll really be, but I won't last that long to see it anyway) and try to make it not getting any worse.
When life doesn't love you, you gotta love it then.

5/ Above all I love art in any way of expressing it : drawing (forget about Picasso, I only understand only a few of his works, who wants to pay all that money to buy things - if they do have the money - and look at them everyday when they hardly understand ?), singing (even opera and classical music sounds good to me, but regardless the genre, if I find it whiny, I'll throw it away), dancing (ballet is beautiful, if you take a close look at it), acting (to me this is mostly about the slightest expression and gestures somehow, I'm very picky, but not as much as my grandma, that's some good news), ..... et cetera, one wild blossom or a lost browny kitten is out of the question (take picture of them immediately, you probably won't see those sort of things everyday with all the pressure from life)
it's never enough to talk about art. 7 billions of population, probably 7 billion ways of expressing and feeling. Getting to know all I could was the main reason I read blogs, actually.

phew, that's it for today. Next time I'll put along some more images with all the texts. My eyes hurt and tire, too. I still want to read without troublesome glasses or contact lens, which I will possibly forget or drop somewhere. This short-term memory can not be trusted at any costs. 3 steps out of the room, I already can't remember what to do. Am I getting old ?

Not enough sleeping cause people to die sooner so .... (yawn) just get rest for now.
Thank for reading til now and still not falling asleep in the middle.

good night it is ........ zzzzzzzz......

still kicking ... not dead .. yet

it's been a reaaaaaaaaaally looooooooong time since the first post, let's go back on one page check it ...
let see here .... 21/12/2008 it seems .........
what the .... ?????!!!!!
I left for more than 2 months ?
&*(^$@#@$%&^#$@%%&^%#@$%^&*(*&^%!@#$%^&*&^%@#$%^&*(%#@@#@!$@!%^%)&*^%%$#!!@#!!!!!
I didn't think it was that long at all. What's wrong with me anyway ? For the past 2 months I replayed every single word I typed down when mind was empty, hands was freezing and feet were losing senses that night - well it was nighty night to me, and after all that long, I have not given up the idea about blogging, yet I did not write a thing. Great, now that my words are all messy, communicating is really a problem to me after all. wa, what now ? geeeez ....
Ah yes, let's just being with anything pops up in this mind right now, if I put it a side for 5 seconds then I'll definitely decide never to write it down. Why do I have feeling it's kinda like being at a wedding - I mean my half-blind analysis - and when the priest - my stupid self-consciousness - ask me, "If there is any place of the bugged brain and the abcdefg heart - which at the moment the writer can't seem to find a suiteable word to describe - has objection to this risky self-revelational lines, speak now or forever hold silence" :wink:
yep, my life's trouble. MY trouble. Sounds like whiny already, huh ? I too hate whiny lines, so I'll make it easy-to-swallow-and-digest for you guys, consider it's my thanks for reading so far. The only good thing about myself that I like is when i look back at things I always find them hilarious in some way.
Ok, I admit that my memorization sucks, I hardly remember what i dreamt of last night. hmmm, what was that again I wonder ? whatever, who cares, move on move on.






I know it's waaaaaaaaaaay late now to tell, but I say it when I get the chance to. Happy new year, people

untitled

though the day I created the account, I was so excited, with weird feelings filled in heart and buncha buncha things i wanted to write down for the world world to know but then, just after one night and til now - guess what, it's been more than a month, I still left it all blank, how pathetic. Many times i have logged in, telling myself I have to be responsible for what I did, but sometimes even after typing a whole page long, I deleted it, I deleted them all. What the crap i was doing ? I don't know, and I don't feel like knowing it.
but still, these days, when the shitty school finally gave us a rest once in while, boredom have come to take over me again. I don't mean I'm writing this just to kill time, although it is partially true. On Y!M, I have 42 in my friendlist. Not a bad number, is it ? But when I need someone to talk to, I find none. It's not that I hate them or I don't trust them or anything. What the heck now ? I don't want to keep whining like this anymore, I'm feeling sickened already. Simply, this way it just doesn't feel right. Forget it, I'm writing no more.
Sorry for posting such crappy messy words, I was never good with it, though I'm cruelly good when it comes to art or literature critics - yeah I'm kinda proud of it :smile:
However, if any of you ever interested, feel free to add me to your list. It's wonderful and delighting to have new friends, no matter what. I'm apocripha1993 on Yahoo and Azusa_Yuhki on Skype. I prefer direct chats with instant responses :wink:
oh well, off for the moment. Good day to all those spend time to read this to the very last line. Thank a bunch.
December 2009
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