Tuesday, October 21, 2008 8:04:10 PM
age, old, wheelchair, Joke
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair,
and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel
and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.
Because the
poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents
tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel
was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped
out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have
you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and
pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away
Ethel sped down the hall.
As she took the corner near the TV lounge
on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP!
Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a
drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way,
Ma'am.'
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out
in front of her, Butt- Naked and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand.
'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!'
(I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, IT'S
FUNNY)
Saturday, October 18, 2008 11:52:15 PM
humanity, Death, sad, dignity
...
As strong as you are, is as tender you'll go.
So no matter how strong you are in life, how independent you think you are, how you'll do it all yourself.
When we die we're all scared and need help.
Were all going to need someone to comfort us as we pass on, we'll always need someone to finish our physical journy on earth.
9 times out of ten it will be a loved one or family member who comforts you. Who burie's you. And they do it with love.
Doesnt that make you think about how you should treat people when you're alive? Not just loved ones but strangers too.
Think carefully about what you say and do to a person. One day that person may be the one who you wish was the one comforting you.
The sad thing is, so many people will pass away scared and lonely. With not one person to love and care for them.
THINK BEFORE YOU DO
Thursday, October 16, 2008 9:44:53 PM
emotions, Love, sad, naughty
...
THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit. Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens - just the depth varies!!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008 7:55:23 PM
single, relationship, Love, breakup
So here i sit. In a club, i'm sitting next to the woman i love. Only she left me 3 weeks ago. But i've chosen that i'd rather have her as a friend than nothing at all. Does she know what's in my mind? Does she know i just want to tell her i love her? Yes i've told her. I've told her time and time again. But she just replies it's over. How can it be over? We're going to be parents, we going to have a family. My dreams my hopes my aspirations. All gone. I ask her to see my point of view but she can't, or she won't. So i'm retired to seeing her point of view. I'm thankful for the time i've had and the time i'm having. Its good enough isn't it? Yes for now i say
Monday, October 13, 2008 6:34:59 PM
When a Girl is quiet ... millions of things are running in her mind.
When a Girl is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.
When a Girl looks at u with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a Girl answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... she is not fine at all
.
When a Girl stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying.
When a Girl lays on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers
forever.
When a Girl wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.
When a Girl says ' I love you ' ... she means it.
When a Girl says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you
more than that.
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person
Find a Guy .. who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
who calls you back when you hang up on him. who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '
My Opera
