Waiting

The house was surrounded with peace. A black car I had never seen before was parked with the front towards the road. It was about noon. Lunchtime. I parked the car , front to front, and slammed the door.

It didn’t take long time before I heard footsteps inside the house. Shortly after the door was opened by a woman at approximately my age. Her hair was white as snow, but this was far from a fairy tale. This was real life. If I believed in life at all.
I had never seen her before. But she looked nice and she gave me confident enough to ask:
”Is she in?”
A stupid question. I knew she was not able to leave the house. The woman nodded, staring at me.
”Can I come in?”
She was not sure. I could tell by the way she looked at me. "Who are you", her eyes asked.
”Tell her I am here and if I can see her for only two minutes.”
She nodded again and left me.
I waited patiently. Oh God, was she this bad.

I heard low voices and suddenly she was back. She held the door open for me and I stepped in. The hallway was small. I looked around in the dim light. I had been here many times before, but this was the first time someone else had ever opened the door for me.
The woman left me and then I heard someone saying:
”Is that you?”
I turned and looked down at her. She stood halfway up the wooden stairway. Her hair was grey and her face pale. She moved slowly towards me, one step at a time. She started to cry before she reached the top. I waited for her and embraced her the moment she reached me. She cryed with her face close into mine. Cheek to cheek. I felt her tears on my skin, wet and salty.
I stood there, with my arms around her, listening to her sobbing. She was exhausted after weeks and months with pain and lack of sleep.
What could I say. I felt so sorry for her. My heart ached for her.

Perhaps I should have began to pray, but instead a song came into my head. The lyrics filled me slowly while we stood there, me holding her. Do you believe in life after love. I can feel something inside me say, I really think you are strong enough. My God you’ve tryed so hard.
God , where are you in all this? There’s no talking to you and this makes me so sad.

What was I suppossed to do, she had waited for a long time. For relief. How is it possible to move on. Can love make us strong enough to carry on? Did she belive in life at all?
” I know you will get through this, I know you are strong,” I whispered.
”Yes” she cryed.
I whispered all the soft words I could think of, reassuring words, think positive words., stay strong words.
”This is what friends are for. To share burdens. Your burden is mine right now, I walk with you. ”
Words.
The woman with the blond hair appeared, she was crying, too.
We stood in silence the three of us.

God in heaven, when I meet you in sky, I have many questions. The first one is why.