Tuesday, August 25, 2009 3:27:45 AM
I just returned from a cruise to Bermuda. It was interesting, great for people watching. The kids thought as I did. Why not just take a plane to where you wanted to go? The best part of cruising is the duty-free shopping. And by golly, steer clear of the on board art auctions. It can cost you as much as the cruise did (cough) (sweet smile)
I love art. I was overwhelmed by their exhibit of peter max. I was overwhelmed by the fact that a poster my sister had back in the 60’s or 70’s could be worth a ridiculous amount of money.
No (edited for decency sake) anything for a week. Although I tried I really couldn’t find anything satisfactory to replace it. Shows, pools, speedos (chuckle) shopping, beach sightseeing,reading. Really can’t replace that ultimate release. Not even the rum.
sigh
If you go to Bermuda please don’t rent a scooter. The roads are crazy and it’s so easy to get around by bus or ferry or taxi.
Snuba. I wasn’t sure if I could do it. I had done scuba certification years ago (decades even) but never did my 80ft dive. I love to snorkel but I’ve noticed in my advanced years I’m a bit more claustrophobic (or is it common sense?) You are basically scuba diving but the oxygen tank is floating along above you on a raft. You are also only ~ 30 ft down.
Then I thought OMG what if they don’t have enough weights to weigh me down?? Talk about the potential for an embarrassing moment. Everyone is standing there in their bikinis and watching as the instructor chooses you to go first. sheesh.. Why me? You stand and put this the weight belt around you and then start adding weights. (shaking head) I had visions of me floating on the top of the water trying to force myself down.
Omg I only freaked out once ( or twice ) Who knew I was a nose breather??? Not a good thing when the O2 supply is coming into your mouth. Imagine this.. you inhale quite nicely through your mouth piece, your instructor gives you an okie dokie sign and then you smile ( huge no no) and exhale through your nose. HA! Water in my mask, up my nose salt water BLECH!
To my amazement it all worked and well done. I relaxed and loved every minute of it.
that’s it for a bit. we now return to our regularly scheduled program....[/FONT]
Thursday, October 30, 2008 1:47:46 AM
I have always loved this.. My own thoughts don't seem to be able to travel the synapses to my fingertips.
Ode on Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood
(a tidbit)
What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.
William Wordsworth [/ALIGN]
Sunday, January 6, 2008 4:49:53 PM
You watched me for months.
I had no idea.
You were taken with the sparkle in my eye, my smile, laughter and carefree style
while admiring my intelligence and compassion.
You found your way in through a crack in the mortar.
I was overwhelmed by your attention.
You understood my hesitation, You understood my fear.
I smiled at the skyline through your window.
You were the reality for so many of my fantasies.
For a moment there was trust and understanding of our needs.
but only for a moment.
The door was ajar and then it suddenly slammed shut.
The plans that were made in hope and humor and exploration were gone.
The sparkle in my eye is dull
My laughter is sporadic and tentative
the sadness is overwhelming.
Perhaps lovers should not attempt to be friends.
"woke up with you on my mind, and a smile on my face."
"Have I told you yet today that I think you are freaking fantastic? You've got my head spinning"
"feel like I am having fun for the first time. I mean *real* fun. Let myself go fun. Wow."
How wonderful it was to know someone who could say how they felt good or bad. It's interesting that now we are "friends" we never talk. On occasion we sit in silence with body language that shuts me out of your world. Painful silence. I would rather cry together than be silent when there is so much to say.
Or is there?
Silence and body language.
Your mortar is not porous
I can not penetrate.
Is there any point in trying?
Sunday, April 15, 2007 8:46:50 AM
OK, you know it's a bad night when you have to get up out of bed at 4 am to write, to rid your mind of these thoughts... and you get it all down the weight is lifted off your shoulders.. and then.. it happens.. the computer freezes.. nothing works.. not esc.. not ctrl alt del.. nothing.. you have cleansed your soul and it is lost..
such is my night.. I need a cup of tea...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 7:59:07 PM
The Invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
Yes!
It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
© Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Monday, October 3, 2005 4:52:46 PM
I dont agree with every aspect of this but I love it anyway
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON...It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.
The, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON...It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Peace
~Briar~
Sunday, October 2, 2005 4:18:22 PM
I'm trying to put together a small data base for my patients. Many speak only Russian, Spanish, Arabic, Greek and do not have family members staying with them. I would like perhaps two (2) options of radio stations they can listen to online while they are in the hospital. Imagine being in a room for several weeks and not being able to communicate or listen to your own music.
I thought what a perfect place to have international reach than "Opera". If anyone has a favorite radio station or tv (I'm assuming this would be less of a hassle for the staff to help the patient set up than tv) please email me the url or post it here. thanks so much
email - Briardreams@yahoo.com
peace
Briar
Sunday, July 10, 2005 6:56:36 PM
I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I'm around, enjoying the summer. It goes without saying that my heart aches for Everyone in the U.K. Recovery is often a very painful, slow process. I hope your hearts heal in time. Growing up and working in NYC the reminders of 9-11 are forever with us.
I'm reading "The Rule of Four". Not sure how I missed it but I thought it would be a quick read. Next is the "4th of July" Patterson I believe.
I've been composing and writing but nothing I can share at the moment. My thoughts are too disorganized for public scrutiny
Have you ever felt so MUCH that you can't even put it down on paper?? My mind is whirling and nothing looks quite right just yet..
My daughter called from Nova Scotia. She is on a 3 week bicycle ride with 11 other kids. They camp and ride and carry their own gear. Last Saturday they rode 52 miles. She said it's the most difficult thing she has ever done and doesn't regret a moment. She sounded so proud. I am so excited she has had this opportunity.
My little baseball player just put on the Yankee game so I will leave you all now and retreat to my hammock and book.
Have a wonderful day!
Peace
~Briar~
Saturday, June 4, 2005 2:45:31 AM
He cant see me or hear me or touch me
yet he reaches to the core of my being.
He touches me without being here.
He sees me with his eyes closed.
I know he is smiling right now...
because he can feel me touching him without being there beside him
seeing him with my eyes closed.
knowing that we are both there..
here... and now...
~Briar~
Saturday, May 21, 2005 3:15:45 AM
I'm going to ramble on a bit..
It was a long day at work. In our everyday lives we encounter people different than ourselves. Different colors, languages, religions.
There are several patients I am working with that require us (the staff) to alter the rules and our routines so they can be true to their faiths while in our hospital. It was amazing to listen to my peers talk about how they feel the patients should abandon their strict rules when they passed through the hospital doors. Isn't it our place as caregivers to help them through the roughest time in their lives?
ok, sounds good.. No big deal.. bend a rule here and there.. if the patient is happy we are happy...That's always been my philosophy.
What if the rules they abide by will be detrimental to their health? I am talking life and death.. if they don't follow certain rules of their protocol they could in fact die. Yet they will not follow them due to their strong faith. The patient and the family confront us, doctors, nurses, patient advocates, chaplains and stand firm they will not follow guidelines that may in fact save their life.
If you are bleeding will you not call for help? Fever, rigors, the list goes on.. but they can not ask for help. Why then are they in the hospital? Would their God in fact want them to be in pain or suffer because they can not bend their faith to summon for help?
This is not what I was taught. I was taught that in fact when you are ill you are excused from the rigidness of the faith. When it was a holiday to fast my father, who was ill, was excused from fasting. This is what I was taught and it made sense to me.
I actually confronted a Chaplain at work who was attempting to intervene and explained my lack of understanding to them. The patient's family member was actually going to go to their religious leader and ask permission to bend a rule. I'm not talking about murder or adultery or anything that would impact on another human life. Simply, to follow the rules of their treatment protocol to keep them safe from a possible life threatening complication.
ok I vented enough.. I'm exhausted.
forgive the lack of punctuation and capitals..
~Briar~
Saturday, May 14, 2005 3:20:27 PM
What is a Dreamer?
A dreamer looks beyond the limits of today
to the possibilities of tomorrow, and sees
what can be instead of settling for what is.
A dreamer imagines the most wonderful new things,
and then finds a way to make them real.
A dreamer knows that stars were made to wish upon and that wishes do
come true.
~unknown~
Saturday, May 14, 2005 1:37:08 PM
how many times have you wanted to reach out....
Fate has thrust this upon us to deal with
to ponder
to decide how much to give
to trust
to offer our heart
our thoughts and desires unleashed,
yet remain undiscovered.
How far do you go for love, for friendship
how long do you wait for the moment or,
do you reach out and take it.
Within reach are your goals.
Happiness is within each of us to discover.
Contentment is being at peace with yourself and your choices.
If you stop
don't take chances
can you be fulfilled?
Can you be at peace knowing the moment is slipping by
knowing all you need do is speak
open your heart
your soul
taking a chance
Thursday, May 12, 2005 6:11:56 PM
Have you ever spoken to someone online... on the phone.. yet had no idea of what he or she looked like?
I've been talking so someone online for several years... I've never asked to see a photo... never sent one of myself.. I have no idea why I wasnt curious.. I just wasnt..
So today.. my mood being what it is.. I emailed him...it went back and forth a bit... and for some unknown reason I right clicked and checked his profile... And lo and behold he posted a photo of himself... I was hesitant to click on it.. all of a sudden curious yet afraid.
Ok... I'll admit it.. I checked him out
made me smile...
Now I know why I never ask for photos... <smirk>
I'm teasing... I just never ever imagine anyone the way they really look. Perhaps it's my own insecurity that makes me think everyone else is wrapped in an amazing package.
ok, that wasnt the point.. Point was I saw his picture and he didnt look anything like he portrayed himself or how I perceived him. It just made me smile.
Photographs and memories....
Someone pass the Kleenex.. they are doing a memorial to Phoebe on All my Children...
Thursday, May 12, 2005 4:21:07 AM
I wish this was mine
What is a friend?
I will tell you - It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself -
Your soul can be naked with him -
He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are -
He does not want you to be better or worse -
When you are with him, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent -
You do not have to be on your guard -
You can say what you think, so long as it is genuinely you -
He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you -
With him you breath freely -
You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks,
your meannesses and absurdities and, in opening them up to him,
they are lost,dissolved on the white ocean of his loyalty -
He understands - You do not have to be careful -
You can abuse him, neglect him, tolerate him -
Best of all, you can keep still with him - It makes no matter -
He likes you, he is like fire that purges you to the bone -
He understands - He understands -
You can weep with him, sing with him, laugh with him, pray with him -
Through it all, and underneath, he sees, knows, and loves you -
A friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself.
C. Raymond Beran
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 11:52:28 PM
The point I forgot to make.... rambling has its downside...
Make sure your wishes are known. Be explicit.. make an informed decision. There is nothing worse for family and friends than to have to make life or death decisions not knowing your wishes.
On a lighter note..
hmmmm
light popcorn...is it worth it?
ok , I need to smile now... let's turn on the tunes..
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 10:18:00 PM
Main Entry: eu·tha·na·sia
Pronunciation: "yü-th&-'nA-zh(E-)&
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek, easy death, from euthanatos, from eu- + thanatos death -- more at THANATOS
: the act or practice of killing or permitting the death of hopelessly sick or injured individuals (as persons or domestic animals) in a relatively painless way for reasons of mercy
- eu·tha·na·sic /-zik, -sik/ adjective
By the time I write this... get up and walk down the hall my patient will have passed away. The rhythmic sounds from the respirator gone. Silence.. He is estranged from his children. The woman who loves him holding his hand. Increasing pain medication.. Increasing sedation.. It's been years since I've seen death delivered in this way. His lover's last words were..
"This is the greatest gift I can give him"
I'm a nurse... care giver..friend.. advocate... Most of my patients do not consider themselves "terminal" although society does in fact seem to label them as such.
I'm not really sure what I intended to write.
Perhaps to remind everyone to embrace life...and not to fear death.
Most people in North America die what may be called a bad death. One study found that "More often than not, patients died in pain, their desires concerning treatment neglected, after spending 10 days or more in an intensive care unit."
Not delivering CPR (cardio-pulmonary resuscitation) and allowing a person, whose heart has stopped, to die.
Peace
Briar
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 2:03:37 AM
Heck, so here I am...I finally created a journal. I couldn't think of a name.. title.. but it just seemed right to create it.
I'm watching Elton John in concert.. Trying to rid my computer of a wicked Trojan.. I entered "Trojan" in the search engine to find the best remover and the first hit was an advertisement for condoms (eyeroll) Not quite what I had in mind for tonight.
Well, I'm still in my scrubs. I'm going to end this rambling now and get my derriere in gear and head for the shower.
hmmmm this is rather nifty..
best of days to everyone
~ Briar~
My Opera
