Es La Chupis!
Friday, 9. May 2008, 02:34:50
Mothers Day
Sunday, 11. May 2008, 22:20:39
Wasted. Hammered. Sloshed. Shit-faced. Fucked-up. Drunk - before I even picked her up to take her to the bar-b-q.
The Slip
Thursday, 8. May 2008, 21:38:58
Nine Inch Nails (NIN) is letting you download for free, the newest album "The Slip". It's 100% legitimate. Click Here to go to the official download station where they let you choose mutiple audio types to suit your needs. I am currently (as of writing this) downloading the M4A format, so I have not listened to it yet. Any way I thought I would just let you all know about it, if your a NIN fan or whatever it's a good deal. Oh and the download comes with artwork and all that too, or if you want here the cover, here it is:
Anton: The Review
Thursday, 8. May 2008, 01:30:05
Do any of you ever find yourself reviewing yourself? I find I do it constantly. It's sort of an automatic check-up on making sure that I am true to myself, that in no way I let myself wear hypocrytical shoes. Sometimes I find myself being hypocritical, and whenever this happens I so far have been succesful at remidying the situation.
I remember once in 7th grade some boys teasing some other boy, a boy I could have also teased and gotten away with being cool to the other boys, but something happened when I saw it. It wasn't a bad tease, they werent touching him or even saying hateful things just silly stupid 6th grade things. In my mind I specifically remember maturing in that moment, in every angle of this teasing situation I found nothing intelligent and only stupidity, that and it was mean to tease this other boy. I vowed I never would again, and I never have teased anyone less fortunate or for no reason at all. Everyonce in a while you meet that asshole who is just a shithead that after your encounter you mock or call a shithead or asshole in a blog post, but in situations like that it's justifiable - and if it's not justifiable to everyone it is to me - and thats where it matters in a self review.
I also remember some time further back in elementary school the day I matured enough to never toss trash on the ground. I was walking home from school, and I had a bag of smarties that i was getting into and eating. After the first pack of smarties I was about to throw the wrapper on the street, but in every angle of this littering situation I found nothing intelligent and only stupidity, so i pocketed the trash till i got home and disposed of it there. And never have I threw trash into grass, a lake, the air, or the street, or any place that was not a trash bin/recycle bin/toilet/etc.
These are the types of things that always pass through my mind when I judge something, or more importantly someone else. And we ALL judge other people. I happen to think I do a very good job at it by the way, it's something that almost feels like the "slightly above average human power" everyone has, everyone has a few - one of mine is the ability to chew icecream with my teeth no matter how cold and not feel it mess with the teeth nerves. But anyway, I do review myself when i make a judgement on someone else, to make sure that i understand why they are this way, and how i should legitimately progress further my interactions with this person.
Sometimes though I struggle with this, and decisions I know are not 100% legitimate for me to continue with, and thes eare what I call accepting my sins. While these are not necessarily "sins" in the traditional meaning, they do count as sins against oneself. For instance, Juggalos and Juggalettes, those that follow the clown-cult craptastic music of ICP (Insane Clown Posse). I live this is the worst music around and that everything revolving around this carnival is illegitimate and rediculous, and that the people in this group in some form or another are missing some sort of intelligence, not completely and not define-able, but somehow do not understand some sort of more advanced appreciation of life in some way. ... Now I myself thouroughly love the Beastie Boys. In this situation I toss around in my head the similarities and differences in what is legitimate about the revolvement (a word i think i just made up, a new one?) around the culture in which these "poster-bands" exist, and my involvement in it, and who the people in the group are, and all circulating and adjacent venues that are in relation to the subject. I know, in the way people knew the earth was flat, that I am more advanced in life appreciation and more legitimate in saying this than one of these juggalos. Make no mistake, this blog was not started with even ICP in mind, this was not provoked, it is just an illustration that is taking a few extra words to communicate to an acceptable level. But I do not follow a Beastie-Cult, I do not believe their even IS one, so strike one point towards the "poster-band" Beastie Boys, and take one from poster band ICP. The lifestyle revolving around the Beastie Boys is usually a happy one that does not strive towards violence, but fills more of recognizing the foibles of life and that being silly is just as legitimate if not more than being serious about life. --- To get back to where I don't feel 100% safe with this assesment is the fact that everytime I hear ICP in someones car, or see a ICP logo on a backpack, i instantly judge this person as a full thrown Juggalo/ette. - Actually now that I type this out, I guess I really don't. I do understand and can imagine how this persons friends are trying to get them into the music, or maybe somehow the person actually enjoys the music but nothing else around the lifestyle - in the same way I enjoy Slayer ( moderately though (; ). Sorry point taken back HAHA I guess I am better in my self-review than I thought.
Anyway I do know that I am not perfect, and that I have ironing out to do, but at the same time I recognize that I will never be, and if I chase this "goal" down i will waste what life I do have, so my advice to anyone who attempts to better improve themselves is:
sometimes its more constructive to accept some of your personal sins and be comfortable having them so you can move forward in your bettering of yourself. Juggalos/ettes are not people i will try to hang around - unfair of me, but I can now continue to make sure I am tackeling the issues of "could i justify killing someone in ANY way?". If your "sin" hurts noone, including yourself, why not let it be yours and not continue fighting it?
- enjoy finding the "you" you want to be.
I remember once in 7th grade some boys teasing some other boy, a boy I could have also teased and gotten away with being cool to the other boys, but something happened when I saw it. It wasn't a bad tease, they werent touching him or even saying hateful things just silly stupid 6th grade things. In my mind I specifically remember maturing in that moment, in every angle of this teasing situation I found nothing intelligent and only stupidity, that and it was mean to tease this other boy. I vowed I never would again, and I never have teased anyone less fortunate or for no reason at all. Everyonce in a while you meet that asshole who is just a shithead that after your encounter you mock or call a shithead or asshole in a blog post, but in situations like that it's justifiable - and if it's not justifiable to everyone it is to me - and thats where it matters in a self review.
I also remember some time further back in elementary school the day I matured enough to never toss trash on the ground. I was walking home from school, and I had a bag of smarties that i was getting into and eating. After the first pack of smarties I was about to throw the wrapper on the street, but in every angle of this littering situation I found nothing intelligent and only stupidity, so i pocketed the trash till i got home and disposed of it there. And never have I threw trash into grass, a lake, the air, or the street, or any place that was not a trash bin/recycle bin/toilet/etc.
These are the types of things that always pass through my mind when I judge something, or more importantly someone else. And we ALL judge other people. I happen to think I do a very good job at it by the way, it's something that almost feels like the "slightly above average human power" everyone has, everyone has a few - one of mine is the ability to chew icecream with my teeth no matter how cold and not feel it mess with the teeth nerves. But anyway, I do review myself when i make a judgement on someone else, to make sure that i understand why they are this way, and how i should legitimately progress further my interactions with this person.
Sometimes though I struggle with this, and decisions I know are not 100% legitimate for me to continue with, and thes eare what I call accepting my sins. While these are not necessarily "sins" in the traditional meaning, they do count as sins against oneself. For instance, Juggalos and Juggalettes, those that follow the clown-cult craptastic music of ICP (Insane Clown Posse). I live this is the worst music around and that everything revolving around this carnival is illegitimate and rediculous, and that the people in this group in some form or another are missing some sort of intelligence, not completely and not define-able, but somehow do not understand some sort of more advanced appreciation of life in some way. ... Now I myself thouroughly love the Beastie Boys. In this situation I toss around in my head the similarities and differences in what is legitimate about the revolvement (a word i think i just made up, a new one?) around the culture in which these "poster-bands" exist, and my involvement in it, and who the people in the group are, and all circulating and adjacent venues that are in relation to the subject. I know, in the way people knew the earth was flat, that I am more advanced in life appreciation and more legitimate in saying this than one of these juggalos. Make no mistake, this blog was not started with even ICP in mind, this was not provoked, it is just an illustration that is taking a few extra words to communicate to an acceptable level. But I do not follow a Beastie-Cult, I do not believe their even IS one, so strike one point towards the "poster-band" Beastie Boys, and take one from poster band ICP. The lifestyle revolving around the Beastie Boys is usually a happy one that does not strive towards violence, but fills more of recognizing the foibles of life and that being silly is just as legitimate if not more than being serious about life. --- To get back to where I don't feel 100% safe with this assesment is the fact that everytime I hear ICP in someones car, or see a ICP logo on a backpack, i instantly judge this person as a full thrown Juggalo/ette. - Actually now that I type this out, I guess I really don't. I do understand and can imagine how this persons friends are trying to get them into the music, or maybe somehow the person actually enjoys the music but nothing else around the lifestyle - in the same way I enjoy Slayer ( moderately though (; ). Sorry point taken back HAHA I guess I am better in my self-review than I thought.
Anyway I do know that I am not perfect, and that I have ironing out to do, but at the same time I recognize that I will never be, and if I chase this "goal" down i will waste what life I do have, so my advice to anyone who attempts to better improve themselves is:
sometimes its more constructive to accept some of your personal sins and be comfortable having them so you can move forward in your bettering of yourself. Juggalos/ettes are not people i will try to hang around - unfair of me, but I can now continue to make sure I am tackeling the issues of "could i justify killing someone in ANY way?". If your "sin" hurts noone, including yourself, why not let it be yours and not continue fighting it?
- enjoy finding the "you" you want to be.
My Blog . Your Browser
Wednesday, 23. April 2008, 01:06:36
I hope you are not using Internet Explorer, the default junk that comes with Windows, that little blue "e" logo.
If you have to go for something that is not the Opera Browser, go firefox or something else, just - just dont do Internet Explorer. It's such a busted browser! it can't handle CSS correctly for one. If you are in fact using Internet Explorer, click "read more" to get a picture of what my blog ACTUALLY looks like when CSS is read correctly by the browser...
If you have to go for something that is not the Opera Browser, go firefox or something else, just - just dont do Internet Explorer. It's such a busted browser! it can't handle CSS correctly for one. If you are in fact using Internet Explorer, click "read more" to get a picture of what my blog ACTUALLY looks like when CSS is read correctly by the browser...
Like Totally
Thursday, 17. April 2008, 03:14:13
Oh my like god! have you like ever heard like people actually like talk like this? in like person? it like totally drives you like crazy right?
I WANTED SOMEONE TO MURDER THESE GIRLS! Holy hell, I can't believe how piercing their speech was to my mind, as well as the things they spoke about. I have heard this type of talk before, but it has NEVER been this intense, i was FORCED to leave the coffee shop because the what and way they spoke was installing itself into the book I was reading (Alienist), and made it impossible to read without reading the word "like" in between every other word! the three approximately 16yr old girls were able to cease me in my reading, in my calm thinking, and breathing - and force me to become aggitated, angry, desperate for a bucket of grenades and a pardon from god for the up-and-coming events that had quickly unfolded in my mind, only to leave the shop in disgust - simply by speaking to eachother!
Oh and the things 16 year old girls talk so loudly about these days! and pride themselves about! At the same time what they discussed drove me furious at the status of human condition, I also found a sort of sadistic pleasure in knowing that what they spoke so proudly about will (possibly if their minds mature further) someday be something they will forever regret and never be able to take back - my saving grace for having to put up with such un-intelligence:
"and the things after prom were like oh yeah i like it there, and like oh no it like doesnt feel good there, you know, i like don't like those like, 'slow-moving' boys, who like wait to long, you know? i like those like skater boys who like don't match, liek the stupid preppy boys look like, too matchy you know? i like the fast boys, and like we were all like playing guitar hero, and like mark like wanted me to be like his partner so i was like 'ok cool whatever, i don't like care' so like were were playing, and like we beat the song and like, it was someone elses turn and like chad and robert, were both like fighting who could like use me as their partner you know? and like chad was like hey, my brother is out getting beers, wanna like go out with him? and like i was all 'uh no, i don't' and like then like mark like tried to like move the chair i was in to him and like lift me up but like the handles broke and i was like OH MY GOD, WHAT like DID YOU DO, and like then like chad like kissed me and i like was all like uh whatever, and we were all like stoned and like it was like when we were at my house after prom and like all wasted and stuff you know? like..." **
I wanted to LIKE kick some LIKE teeth into some slutty, rich, stupid, snobby, prissy, stoner, binge-drinking, teenager skulls!
I NEVER get this upset, and as I said before I was finally able to find solice that IF one day they grow any maturity and intelligence that they will look back at all the times they got drunk and had sex with the fast moving mix-matched skater boys who "totally like got a sweet new ambercrombie~~ sweatshirt"*** and regret something they can never take back - many many nights of lost innocence due to status among their peers as popular, given to the fact that more boys like this person than someone else, and that all the other females wer jealous of this treatment - a treatment that may actually secretly be internally refuting with their chosen lifestyle, but one they deny and hide, figuring that the others don't think this way. -- In this heartless realization of these people I have actually found solitude and was able to calm down. This could be a quality of myself that others find unattractive, something not honorable, but as a cynical FAIR individual who at the same time grew up WITH the "fast skater boys", I believe that we all had the choices, and that we made them. It is fair that I made decisions I don't regret in this area, and these people are making decisions that they may egret one day. Why is it comfortable to me that they feel bad later in life? possibly because they mocked those who did not fit the in-style ambercrombie dress code and lived as lavishly off of their parents expenses and stubbornly snobbish at those who were "out of their group" - but I think its more along the lines of "haha, when you finally admit to being wrong, if it's honest, you will KNOW that you were wrong for too long" - a simple defeat played out by the people themselves and no outside attackers (given that abuse has not been given to these people - if psychological trauma is a major player in the shaping of these lives then all feelings of revelation on my behalf will be null and replaced with pity)
Sorry, if this is offensive in the least to anyone for ANY reason, wheather it be because: You speak "like" this, wear ambercrombie, are a fast moving skater boy, regret living like this in your teen years and are now faced again with something that could benifit in your acceptance and lead into non-regretance and healthier psychological future - but you don't accept what i say as being possible, get stoned, get drunk, i tried to add as many "likes" into something you wanted to read but found rediculously difficult, thought that footnotes were a bit much, think wikipedia is too unofficial as an encyclopedia, wasting your time, tarnished the image of myself in your eyes thinking before that i was once greater than i was before this display of emotions at these actions or thoughts, spelling/grammer errors, run-on sentances, or anything else that can fit into a relative "etc..." category.
**This was just a very very condensed snap-shot of the things that were said and "like discussed" and are not word for word, but perfect idea-for-idea and instance-for-instance accounts of the discussion.
***Totally was like said at one point!
~~Referrs to cloathing store/brand "Ambercrombie & Fitch". Generally patrons of this store are known to dress exactly in tune with whatever the advertisers of said store consider "in style" and place on maniquinns (VERY rarely representing any other "race" class other than caucasion). This is a geberalization, but one that is rarely refutted. And usually only by Ambercrombie wearers.
I WANTED SOMEONE TO MURDER THESE GIRLS! Holy hell, I can't believe how piercing their speech was to my mind, as well as the things they spoke about. I have heard this type of talk before, but it has NEVER been this intense, i was FORCED to leave the coffee shop because the what and way they spoke was installing itself into the book I was reading (Alienist), and made it impossible to read without reading the word "like" in between every other word! the three approximately 16yr old girls were able to cease me in my reading, in my calm thinking, and breathing - and force me to become aggitated, angry, desperate for a bucket of grenades and a pardon from god for the up-and-coming events that had quickly unfolded in my mind, only to leave the shop in disgust - simply by speaking to eachother!
Oh and the things 16 year old girls talk so loudly about these days! and pride themselves about! At the same time what they discussed drove me furious at the status of human condition, I also found a sort of sadistic pleasure in knowing that what they spoke so proudly about will (possibly if their minds mature further) someday be something they will forever regret and never be able to take back - my saving grace for having to put up with such un-intelligence:
"and the things after prom were like oh yeah i like it there, and like oh no it like doesnt feel good there, you know, i like don't like those like, 'slow-moving' boys, who like wait to long, you know? i like those like skater boys who like don't match, liek the stupid preppy boys look like, too matchy you know? i like the fast boys, and like we were all like playing guitar hero, and like mark like wanted me to be like his partner so i was like 'ok cool whatever, i don't like care' so like were were playing, and like we beat the song and like, it was someone elses turn and like chad and robert, were both like fighting who could like use me as their partner you know? and like chad was like hey, my brother is out getting beers, wanna like go out with him? and like i was all 'uh no, i don't' and like then like mark like tried to like move the chair i was in to him and like lift me up but like the handles broke and i was like OH MY GOD, WHAT like DID YOU DO, and like then like chad like kissed me and i like was all like uh whatever, and we were all like stoned and like it was like when we were at my house after prom and like all wasted and stuff you know? like..." **
I wanted to LIKE kick some LIKE teeth into some slutty, rich, stupid, snobby, prissy, stoner, binge-drinking, teenager skulls!
I NEVER get this upset, and as I said before I was finally able to find solice that IF one day they grow any maturity and intelligence that they will look back at all the times they got drunk and had sex with the fast moving mix-matched skater boys who "totally like got a sweet new ambercrombie~~ sweatshirt"*** and regret something they can never take back - many many nights of lost innocence due to status among their peers as popular, given to the fact that more boys like this person than someone else, and that all the other females wer jealous of this treatment - a treatment that may actually secretly be internally refuting with their chosen lifestyle, but one they deny and hide, figuring that the others don't think this way. -- In this heartless realization of these people I have actually found solitude and was able to calm down. This could be a quality of myself that others find unattractive, something not honorable, but as a cynical FAIR individual who at the same time grew up WITH the "fast skater boys", I believe that we all had the choices, and that we made them. It is fair that I made decisions I don't regret in this area, and these people are making decisions that they may egret one day. Why is it comfortable to me that they feel bad later in life? possibly because they mocked those who did not fit the in-style ambercrombie dress code and lived as lavishly off of their parents expenses and stubbornly snobbish at those who were "out of their group" - but I think its more along the lines of "haha, when you finally admit to being wrong, if it's honest, you will KNOW that you were wrong for too long" - a simple defeat played out by the people themselves and no outside attackers (given that abuse has not been given to these people - if psychological trauma is a major player in the shaping of these lives then all feelings of revelation on my behalf will be null and replaced with pity)
Sorry, if this is offensive in the least to anyone for ANY reason, wheather it be because: You speak "like" this, wear ambercrombie, are a fast moving skater boy, regret living like this in your teen years and are now faced again with something that could benifit in your acceptance and lead into non-regretance and healthier psychological future - but you don't accept what i say as being possible, get stoned, get drunk, i tried to add as many "likes" into something you wanted to read but found rediculously difficult, thought that footnotes were a bit much, think wikipedia is too unofficial as an encyclopedia, wasting your time, tarnished the image of myself in your eyes thinking before that i was once greater than i was before this display of emotions at these actions or thoughts, spelling/grammer errors, run-on sentances, or anything else that can fit into a relative "etc..." category.
**This was just a very very condensed snap-shot of the things that were said and "like discussed" and are not word for word, but perfect idea-for-idea and instance-for-instance accounts of the discussion.
***Totally was like said at one point!
~~Referrs to cloathing store/brand "Ambercrombie & Fitch". Generally patrons of this store are known to dress exactly in tune with whatever the advertisers of said store consider "in style" and place on maniquinns (VERY rarely representing any other "race" class other than caucasion). This is a geberalization, but one that is rarely refutted. And usually only by Ambercrombie wearers.
Showing posts 1 - 10 of 134.
Anton
longing for moje kochanie
Chat
CaptainSeagull
2008-05-10 00:09:10*:
Oszin
2008-04-09 15:33:17:*
2008-04-07 16:36:50k
Holo3D
2008-04-06 19:46:08N.V.M :D
2008-04-02 16:25:35why what? haha!
2008-03-30 08:14:41Thanx for visiting my blog . :down: :lol: why that? ha ha
Poll
What Goldfrapp album should Anton purchase?
- 2005: Supernature
(33%) - 2003: Black Cherry (33%)
- 2000: Felt Mountain (0%)
- 2008: Seventh Tree (33%)
Total: 3 votes
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I go back home
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