I don't know
Thursday, April 19, 2012 4:32:53 AM
Maybe I can keep this post short but my emotions are getting really worn out, and I don't know how much joy I can find at work if theres any left to be had. I really work really physically hard at work in dangerous environments, and I always do my best, so when I can't do something well that others can do easily, I feel very inadequate and small. I also think that superiors may get the impression of laziness or poor determination, but it's never the case. I feel like the more I try to climb out of this hole, the more mud I'm pulling off the walls around me, like it's just getting worse.
I think my spirit is breaking as I grow older too. Before you tell me I'm not old, realize I never said I was old, I know I'm not. I said I'm getting older. I don't feel good.