Captains' blog

*sigh* - Sometimes I think, that we need to breath out. We need to take a day off, of everything.

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School sucks. I caved in today and let what I really feel about it all come out. I hate it, it's taking me no where, and I dislike how poor any of the professors teach their classes. It costs a trillion dollars, trillions of dollars in loans, loans that you use your fancy new degree to make the big bucks to spend trillions of years paying off. This is my last semester in it, I am finished. My new school red rocks was supposed to cost much less, but instead cost much more, about 2,000 dollars more. Welp, once i get bck from my beautiful adventure to poland I am going to spend zero extra dollars and KILL these stupid loans. fuck, I HATE school. Maybe it's just american education, maybe it's not but this institution is terrible. I don't want alot of money, I just want moje kochanie, and i know it takes money to keep the situation going, but not alot.

I also tell you what, I know I would have a much better paying job by now if I never started college in the first place.

Man, for as long as I can remember I have felt this crazy drive to create things, or modify things, or to just imagine htings. My hands though, these things get bored and they drive me nuts! I wish I could just kick back and relax, but they just want to do things with exacto blades, markers, tapes and glues. Couple these two furious forces with a racing mind and you get a disaster of a sleepless human being.

Ugh, oh well hopefully this Tai Chi class will calm me down. I really need to kick back and spend more time with other human beings meeting other human beings I havn't met... like girls. I need a girly, but alot of who I find either drink heavily (enough), or smoke, or just get worse. It's hard to find one of them clean girlies. The class is a testing ground for the new college as well, I am thinking about transfering from Metro to Red Rocks. Maybee while attending the new school I will meet ms. sweet. - prolly unlikely, I need an adorable dork who stays clean, and those don't exhist.

stupid wireless wii censor bar I'm making mcguyver-style out of a censor bar and a Emerson cd player remote. The damn thing doesn't work! and it's such an EASY circut! I am convinced Nintendo makes the most impossible to solder wires. I went through hell just lengthening an NES controller cord, and thats baby stuff.

So after spending three years in the school setting, one year at one place, and two years in the current, I realized. I am one of those guys not meant for school.

I have never been terribly thrilled about school, and always figured that it was just somthing young guys in H.S. and early college do, but I still have no burning desire to become a rich doctor or chemist or anything else that is the social definition of success.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE education and learning how to do things, I just don't care about owning two cars, or even a new car. I don't care about 3 story houses, or even houses. I could probably live in an apartment very comfortable for a very long time. I don't care about following fashion trends either, in fact my favorite time for clothing was the fifties/sixties. - I really only need money to support living (like eating), nintendo habits, art habits, and things like phone bills.

So, I think once I finish this program I started, I will try to get a higher paying job that can fund my small list, as well as periodically taking classes that interest me personally.

The only thing I want to make of myself, is myself

- Anton

...as in Solo.

This blog has nothing to do with love, or crushes, or potential interests. It was just one of those little things in life that make you increadibly happy. When they actually have no effect on you whatsoever, at least, not at first...

When I got off the train today at school I of coarse would wak across campus to my class room. Well we have this long large walking stretch of road that could easily accomodate 3-4 lanes of traffic. About 25 feet from the train I found myself walking besides this girl who I had never met before, but we hard perfectly matching gates, or step patterns, or speed or whatever the correct term is. Unknown to either of us was where the other person was heading, I tried to speed up just a dash, and at times slow down just a daash, because at first it was awkward, but doing either of the two things felt forced. I stayed my speed and heading.

After about 2 blocks later it just got funny to me. We were walking close enough to be old friends but not boy/girlfriends. No words! haha, I just kept smiling huge because I didn't want to laugh out loud, but it NEVER stopped!...

...until she slipped and fell on some ice! Oh no! I took the one step back I had taken during her fall and offered to help her up, she held out her hand and I helped her up. I asked if she was ok, she said she was, and just looked at her hand. This was the first time I had actually seen her face. Well we walked for about five feet together again, before I just asked what class she was going to. Talk about an ice-breaker, lawl!.

It turns out that she was going to key-boarding class (computer), and after talking to eachother while walking for a while, I found out she has been in the US for two years out of vietnam, she spoke english very well, but still had a heavy accent, but the speed we spoke and words were very smoothly US english. Her name is prounounced like the smooth-talkin, mellenium-falcon-flyin', space-hero "Han" Solo. And she learned my name to. We reached a junction where classes end up in different buildings off the main 'road'. She took a slight turn left and said "goodbye anton", but it was where I was headed to, she just turned and spoke one second before I did. I laughed and told her I was headed to the same building, so we talked a bit more until we got to the door. Of coarse I do as I always do and got the door for her. She waved and went down the stairs, and I continued down the hall.

That was the end of our encounter, but I must say, because of the bit of walking we had done for the distance we went, It felt like she was a friend and not a recent aquaintance.