Poems from China

International airport at San Francisco was busy as usual. I stepped out a narrow pathway with an anxiously feeling to meet someone.

There were quiet a few people standing all over the place, holding a nameplate. Obviously they were waiting for whoever has the same name on the plate.

I looked around and checked each plate carefully, there was none for me. No nameplate, no familiar face either.

I was informed that Dr. Johnston would be there to pick me up and take care of all the paper works.

I was wrong. I went downstairs to get my luggage, and then followed the directions to the official checkout booths.

"How are you, sir?" A cheerful voice from behind a window.

"Fine, thank you. And you?" Sounded normal.

"Nothing to complain."

"No-no-no, I do need to have my paper work done." I thought she meant something else.

"Okay." An understanding tone. "What can I do for you?"

"Here is my passport, my I-90, my air-ticket, my luggage, my......"

"Hold your horses. One at a time." A giggling wind.

I always hated that kind of laugh, belittling someone else. It was a kind of insults in my country. "I do not own any horse, my lady."

"I, shih, know. I meant you slow down."

"I have not moved at all." It really got on my nerves.

"Okay, the name on the passport is correct, am I right?"

"Yeah." Why?

"Okay. What is your purpose visiting America?" A small talk.

"I come to American to study." I was really proud of myself.

"Very good." She checked everything and pouched something into a computer sitting in front of her. "Everything is fine. I hope you study well."

“That all you have? A small luggage, a bookpack?”

“My family is not rich. These are all the properties I own.”

“Just a second, the computer is slow today.” She hit the monitor. “That’s all? Anything fancy, like jewelry?”

“No, I don’t have any family jew. My lady. I am from a communist country.”

“You don’t say.” She laughed out loud with tears in her eyes. “That’s all. Good luck to you.”

"Thank you." I threw everything into my luggage and walked out the booth as fast as I could. I did not know why she was so easily amused.

After twenty some hours flying, it was a wonderful feeling to be able finally walk out for some fresh air. I meant the real natural fresh air. At this moment, all I want was something fresh; maybe some fruits or vegetable would help.

I looked around, still nobody I knew in sight. “What should I do?” I asked for myself. “Maybe Chinese Embassy would be the best place for a start.”

I looked around. A middle age woman was walking right in front of me. I caught up with her and asked gently: “Madam, would you please tell me how to get Chinese Embassy?”

She stopped and looked at me for a good second. Then, she dropped her briefcase and hugged me. A big and nice smile cast on her face. No word.

“You are so kind.” As she turned, I stopped her again. “Now, please tell me how to get Chinese Embassy?”

She looked at me again and hugged me one more time. No smile on her face this time.

I stopped her again asking for direction as she tried to walk away without a word to me, again.

Again, she hugged me and this time she looked annoyed. I sensed something went wrong. So I pulled out my pen and wrote on my hand: Chinese Embassy.

She looked at my hand and a loud laugh busted out. For half a minute, I stood there with burning cheeks and running tears. If there were a hole, I would drop myself in for sure.

“Oh My!” After gained her composure back, she wiped away tears on her face, “It is Embassy, not embrace! What a trick!” She walked away. “Go back China, young man.”

<o:p></o:p>

Embarrassed, I quickly walked out of the terminal onto the street. There were quiet a few minibuses and cars lining along the side walk.

"Do you need a lift?" A young man walked up to me with a towel on his left shoulder.

"Yes, please. I need to find a hotel and a restaurant."

"Where?" He seemed confused.

"Hotel and restaurant."

"Wait here." He passed me by to greet others.

"Are you waiting for someone?" An older guy came unto me shortly after.

"Yeah, I think. A young man just asked me to wait for him here."

"Uh. He is one of us. That is all you have?" He nodded to my small luggage.

"Yeah…" I was lost.

"James." The young man yelled to the older guy, "come over here."

"Okay. Tom."

"This guy looks too poor. He does not know where he is going. If he goes to San Barbara that will be too far for us…"

I overheard that conversation. What? I could not believe this.

"I just… …"

"I know," Tom interrupted me," I am sorry, he is the boss."

Hell. What could I do?<o:p></o:p>

"What about a bus, huh? It costs you $10. Just over there at the yellow bar…" he walked away.

<o:p></o:p>

I turn to see a yellow bar about a hundred meters away. A blue color bus with a couple of red strips was parking there. I shook my head, dragged my luggage behind, and walked as fast as I could to the bus station.

About half the way through, the bus started moving. I quickly dropped my luggage and waved the bus to stop.

"BOOM-BOOM!" Replied the horn.

"Oh, My God! What can I do? Nobody I know, nowhere I know." I reached into my pocket; there was a $20 note in there. "What can I do at such a strange city, speaking a strange language, and nobody seems care." It was an awful and sad feeling.

I waited, and waited, and waited. My watch, a gift from my mom just before I took off, told me I had waited more than 20 minutes. I stared at the watch; a familiar face appeared with tears running like two creeks on a plain, kind, and pink land. That was my mom. Every time I left home, she cries.

I felt so painful. My nose started sour. I had to turn my face away from public. Just at the same moment, a bus pulled in and the driver saw my head turned away, so he closed the door and pulled the bus into the traffic.

"Wait for me." I cried out aloud. But the engine ate my voice.

“Oh No! Oh No.” Cars passed me by as I stood helplessly on the street. Some yelled at me, some threw gestures that I didn't understand; some just mouthed some silent words of disgust behind the tinted windows. Three cars almost ran me over, barely missing my legs, but my mind wasn't on the fact that I was a Chinese guy standing in the middle of an American street: some land of opportunity.

A car pulled by and stopped right in front of me. "Young man, it is dangerous standing in the middle of the road. You may get killed."

"Uh, sorry." I tried hard to hold back my tears and walked to the station slowly and calmly.

"Are you all right?" The driver seemed caring.

"Yeah, I am fine..."

"Can I help? I can give you a lift." He stooped the car on the side and talked to me kindly.

“Thank God! I thank you.” I thought. "Thank you, sir. I do not know what I can do."

"A new visitor, right?" He smiled at me.

"Yeah. First time to America."

He helped me get my luggage into his trunk and opened the passenger side door to let me in.

"Are you a student?"

"Yes."

"UCSF or Stanford?"

"Stanford."

"Great school, you know. My son was graduated from there a couple of years back."

"Yeah?" I didn't know what to say.

"Well, where are you going to go?"

"I do not know."

"I see. It’s getting late now. I think you should find a motel for a night and figure out what to do tomorrow."

"Yeah. I think you are right. Can you get me to Stanford?"

"My home is in San Francisco. Stanford is at the opposite direction." He thought for a while. "How much money do you have?"

"$20."

"Only $20?" he was surprised.

"My family is not rich, I …" I did not know how to explain.

"For $15, I can send you to a nearby motel. You can use the telephone there to call the University and let them to pick you up."

"$15?" I thought it was too much.

"Yeah. They usually charge you $20 to $40 bucks here. Even the bus costs you $10 to $15."

"Thank you. You are nice." America was indeed a high salary, high expense country, I now believed.

<o:p></o:p>

A few minutes later, we arrived at a two-floor apartment building.

“Here you are. A moderate motel. The office is over there” He leaned over me and opened the door from inside.

I gave him the $20 bill. He handed me five $1 bills. As soon as I walked out of the car, he turned and disappeared into the heavy traffic.

"My luggage..!" My cry was buried again in the highway noise.

Here I was. A bookrack and $5. Oh My GOD!!!

I walked to the motel office. A middle-age woman was sitting behind a window in a small room. A bookrack with all kinds of brochures at one side occupied nearly one third of the space. It was so small that it was designed for only one person to check in at a time.

"Can I help you?" The voice sounded crack with an electronic buzz in my ears.

"Yeah. Can I use your telephone?"

"There is a public phone at the parking lot, by the far side of the road."

I had to walk out of the office. There it was. At far end of the apartment complex, there was a green box with a telephone sign. I walked there and picked up the phone.

"This is operator. How can I help you?"

"I want to call Stanford University."

"Okay, that will be 95 cents."

"I have a $1 note…"

"Sorry, sir, we only take coins."

"I do not have coins..."

"Sorry…" She hung up on me.

“Oh My God! What can I do?” I walked back to the office. The same lady was still sitting there.

"Can I get four quarters, please." I sliced a dollar bill underneath a small opening at the bottom of the window.

"Do you have a dame?"

"No."

"Give me another $1."

I couldn’t understand why but did give her another one-dollar bill.

"Here are your seven quarters, a dime, and one nickel."

"Thank you!" I did not know if I should thank her. I needed coins!

"Operator, I need to talk to some people in Stanford."

"Please deposit 95 cents."

I dropped three quarters and one dime.

"Who are you going to speak to?"

"Anybody at the international student office."

It rang about two minutes. “Thank God, my ordeal is about to end now.”

"International student office. This is a touch-tone phone. Our office opens from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm, Monday through Friday. If you need information on registration, press one, now. If you need information on tax, press two, now. If you need housing information, press three, now. If you need information on student activities, press four, now. If you have a health problem and you wish to speak to an insurance agent, press five, now. If you have other problems and wish to speak to one of our secretaries, please remain on the line. One of our secretaries will speak to you shortly. If you wish to hear the menu again, press the star and the pound key."

“Whom was I speaking to? Well, let's see who’s next. Once I got somebody at the university, I maybe able to figure out what to do from there.”

There was a very nice music in the phone. Some lunatic was crying for understanding. I felt deep sympathy for the female singer. Even the musicians in USA have problem in understanding things. “I was not the only one.”

"Click-click-click." Finally. "Hollow, hello? My name is..."

"Sorry, sir. Your time is up. To continue, you must deposit 95 cents."

What? I could not believe my ears. I paid $15 for a few minutes ride, 10 cents for an exchange, and 95 cents for a perspiring song. Now, I had to pay another 95 cents to continue?

"Calm down, just one more minute, it will all be over." I was comforting myself. “Bloody American.”

I deposited another 95 cents. That’s all the coins I got left.

"International student office. This is a touch-tone phone. Our office opens from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm, Monday through Friday. If you need information on registration, press one, now. If you need information on tax, press two, now. If you need housing information, press three, now. If you need information on student activities, press four, now. If you have a health problem and you wish to speak to an insurance agent, press five, now. If you have other problems and wish to speak to one of our secretaries, please remain on the line. One of our secretaries will speak to you shortly…"

Great! I had to start all over again and possibly had to deposit another 95 cents. “Oh, this is great! This is just great!”

At the next click, I hung up the phone, and dialed the operator. After a careful explanation, the operator showed me some sympathy. "What can I do?"

"Do you know who you are supposed to get? Who is your professor?"

<o:p></o:p>

"My professor’s name is Dr. Johnston."

"I can try a collect call for you, if Dr. Johnston is willing to pay for it."

"I am sure he will." I was not so sure myself, but I was desperate.

After two more minutes, a female voice came on the other end. "Hello? This is Tammy speaking."

"This is operator. There is a young man who wants to speak to Dr. Johnston. Is he there?"

"There is no Dr. Johnston in this office."

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’ve been working here for twenty years.”

"Uh, I am sorry." Operator hung up.

“What? Oh, yeah, Dr. Johnston does not work in the International Student Office. He is my professor whom I am going to work under.”

"Operator?"

"Uh, it is you again. There is no Dr. Johnston over Stanford. This is a public phone. If you want to talk to somebody, please call for yourself. I have work to do. I cannot talk to you all day."

Yeah, she was right. I was guilty!

"I am sorry, it is all my fault."

"Okay. I understand. Bye now."

"Please wait!" I started begging. Never before in my life did I ever beg anybody for anything! "It was my fault. Dr. Johnston does not work in the International Student Office."

"What? Is this some kind of joke? It is not funny..." She was angry.

"No-no-no. I am sorry. But would you please call Dr. Johnston in the Department of Economy?"

"You better be serious this time."

"Thank you very much! It won't be a joke. I promise."

"Hello, Department of Economy, this is Jenny, how may I help you?"

"Hey, Jenny, there is a young man who wants to speak to Dr. Johnston. Would you pick up the tab, please?"

"I am sorry. But Dr. Johnston just walked out of the office."

"Can you take the call? He sure needs help.”

"I am sorry; it is against our department policy to receive a collect call at work. I cannot be responsible for it. You do understand it, don't you?"

"Yeah, I understand." Operator did agree.

They hung up on me again. "Oh my dear God! It is four thirty right now. If I <o:p></o:p>

Cannot find Dr. Johnston, what will I do?" I thought it out loud.

I dialed the operator again. This time, the conversation seemed shorter and nicer.

"I am sorry. Coo-cough." Jenny cleared her throat.

"Caught cold?" asked the operator.

"Yeah. I guess I caught cold last night when I wait in line for a ticket to the Spring Fashion Show."

"Wow. I have to work the night shift; otherwise, I’d like to do the same thing. They said the show is really neat. I mean, those French brats really have some sense of fashion."

Great! While I was waiting anxiously, the two ladies started chatting on a new fashion show. Did I have to listen to this nonsense that distanced me thousand miles away? "Calm down. It soon will be over." I warned myself.

"I am sorry; operator," Jenny suddenly sounded in a hurry, "but my boss, Dr. Johnston, just walks in and I have to hang up now."

"Whoops, what a boss!"

"He is okay, you know. We get along well. But he is in a bad mood today. He missed one of his students at the airport today. He is hopping that student is smart enough to call him. Nice chatting with you. Talk to you later."

"Gator."

"Wait that was Dr. Johnston. That was the person I needed to talk to..." My voice disappeared in the phone that had already been disconnected.

"Oh my lord! What is happening here?" I dialed the operator again.

"It is you again. Did I try several times for you? Do you ever give up?"

"I cannot. I am sorry. Please try it one more time."

"Department of Economy, this is Jenny, how can I help you?" Weary voice again.

"Hey, Jenny, it is me again."

"Hey, what is up?"

"Oh, it is not for me. The young man, who wants to speak to Dr. Johnston, is

Still waiting."

"Oh, right, right! I thought I forgot something. Hold on for a second."

“She forgot it? How could she? Well, forget it. After talking with Dr. <o:p></o:p>

Johnston, I will let Dr. Johnston know what a secretary he had.”

"I am sorry. Dr. Johnston went home just a minute ago."

"Can you stop him?" I could not help yelling.

"Quite yelling. Coo-cough, you are hurting my ears."

"But I am..."

"Sorry."

"Sorry!"

“Great! This is marvelous! This is just unbelievable.”

"Operator, can you help me to reach Dr. Johnston at home, please?"

"You never quit, do you?"

“How do you know my situation? If I cannot speak to Dr. Johnston, what else could I do? Do you really think I like to talk to you? Dreaming…” That was my thought, but I had to beg, "Please?"

"Okay-Okay!" Very reluctant voice.

"Whoops! There are more than twenty Johnston’s in the white page, sir. Do you know his first name?"

"I think his first name is Larry, L-A-R-R-Y."

"There are three Larry Johnston, five L Johnston."

"Uh-oh. Oh my God, what can I do?”

“Can you call them one by one for me?"

"Err-uh! Cannot do that! That is a solicitation. It is a miscellaneous felony in the State of California. You may go to jail for it."

"Sorry! Is there any other way?"

"Let me think…" pause!

"Wait a minute, I remember he has another name, Duncan."

"You mean he has a middle name?"

"I guess so…" I was not so sure.

"Okay, here it is. Johnston, Larry D."

The phone rung for about three minutes, it seemed forever.

"No body home, sir. You have to try it later."

Great! I did not know how long would it take for Dr. Johnston to get home. I guess thirty minutes? I’d better call him every thirty minutes.

After numerous phone calls, my nose started burning. I was sure it would look dark brown if I looked it in the mirror.

It was seven thirty when I finally reached Dr. Johnston at home.

"Hey, my dear, I am waiting for you all day. I got to airport about ten minutes late, damned the traffic. Some asshole was in the middle of the street holding up traffic, almost hit him. I don't know why there are so many people living here! Anyway, I could not find you at the terminal. So I went straight back to my office. I checked my secretary so many times if you called. But you did not call. Where are you and what took you so long to call me?"

I wanted to cry! What a bloody day! I can hardly utter a single word now.

"Are you all right? Talk to me, dear, talk to me!"

I took a long breath, then clear my throat. "It is a long story. Please pick me up at a motel on highway 101."

"What? You’ve checked in a motel? I have already arranged..."

"Sorry, I wish I could. I am outside of a motel. I cannot afford a motel."

"Which motel?"

"I do not know, let me see."

I looked for any sign or name, "I cannot find a name. But there is a plate about ten meters high, it reads a big number six."

"Uha! That is Motel six. You just wait for me there. I will be right there. Just hung in there tight."

Thank God. Finally, everything seemed calm now.

I looked at the highway. It was getting dark. The traffic seemed not bothered, though. The lights on the highway were great, as if two huge long snakes dancing in a dark fog. I turn around, the motel in front of me looked huge too.

I walked towards the light pole with a number six on top. Partly because that was the only place had light here, I did not like to be missed one more time. I walked to the light as fast as I can, as I feared Dr. Johnston would miss me again if I could not get there on time. It seemed so far away. I doubt I could ever reach it.

Suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, two men jumped out from a dark side of a car. One guy walked to me slowly while the other one stood back in the dark.

"Hey, man." He kept looking around, not looking at me.

I could not see his face clearly. His cloth was dirty and smelled bad.

"What do you want?" I was going to puke.

"Some change, man."

“What?” I stood there frightened. I put my hands on my hip to unhook my belt. If anything happens, my belt was all the weapon I had.

My brother gave this steel-belt to me. He used to practice martial art with it. It looked and functioned as an ordinary belt, but it was a light weapon like a steel rope. “I’ll miss you, my brother. America is a messy and strange world.” I still remembered the warning words when my brother gave me this belt as both a gift and a self-defense weapon. "You be careful in the strange land. This belt is a toy when I practice martial arts. Take it. You may find it useful someday …”

Two, four, six of the buttons were open. Two more left in front. I didn't want to take any chances. After all, I was all alone here.

"Man, give me some change. Come on, man!"

"I don't have any."

"Nice suit you have on you. Guy dresses like you don’t have any money?"

"Calm down. Wait for a few more seconds. You don't want any trouble.” I tried to calm down.

"Man, come on, man."

My hands started shaking as I was nervous.

"Wham-lah!" My belt fell into my right hand naturally. I bent down my knee a little and put up my left arm to block my chest just in case.

"Holy shit!" The guy stood in the dark jumped up and ran away.

"Oh My God. Take it easy, man. Take it easy.” The man in front of me ran away cursing “Blast Oriental Shit!".

A chill feeling shook my body. My spin felt so cold. “God, what is this!”

I sat down on the curb and held my arms around my shoulders trying to get warm. It was a long night!

A car pulled in and a man jumped out. "Hello, are you …?"

"Yeah…" I was still in the shock mood. It did not seem real.

"I'm Larry Johnston. So nice to meet you. I am so sorry I get here so late. Damned traffic. Are you okay?"

"I am fine, Dr. Johnston." I didn't know what to say. My eyes were watery, my legs were shaking, and my body was cold.

"Hey, my name is Jenny. Nice meet you. Dr. Johnston is worrying sick about you." A tiny hand wearing a pink leather grove was in my face.

"I am sorry." I barely touched the grove.

"Gets in and let's go home." Dr. Johnston placed one hand on my shoulder.

"Where is your luggage, dear?" Jenny asked.

"Somebody took it."

"What?" Dr. Johnston felt shocked. "I can’t believe it. What happened?"

"I am so tired. Let's talk about it later."

"I am so sorry." A very pitiful female voice.

"Okay…"

Thirty minutes later, we were at Dr. Johnston’s house, a two-floor condo with one car garage at the bottom and two bedrooms at the top. It was decent, I guess.

"Such a renown professor living in such a moderate place, American is as populated as Asia." I thought. "Are you living here?" I asked Dr. Johnston.

"Sort of." Answered Dr. Johnston in a lazy voice. "My wife and kids are living in down town San Francisco. Jenny and I are living here for convenience.”

He turned left, pop-opened a door, “here, this is your room. The bathroom is at the other side. Hope you don't mind we share the same bathroom."

How could I care! I was so tired. I just wanted to go to bed.

"There are some sandwiches in the refrigerator if you want." Jenny was trying to be nice.

"Thank you, I am too tired. I just want to take a shower and go to bed."

"I understand. Fine. Go do as you please."

I walked into the bathroom. It was clean but small. A bathtub took half the space on the right. A toilet sat right in front. On the left side, a tiny sink with an oral mirror on top. Far left, there was a glass door. I opened the grass door, it was a small shower stall suitable for a single person only.

As I turned on the light, I notice there is another door ahead. A small running water noise came out of the other side. Out of curiosity, I opened that glass door, there sat Jenny on a toilet.

"I am sorry." I quickly closed the door.

"It is okay." A weary voice.

I couldn’t take a shower in there like this. I walked back to the bedroom, took off my cloth, and got into the soft, sensed bed. I was beat.

As soon as closed my eyes, I heard the water running in the shower room. It was loud. I cannot image how technologically advanced America had such poor insulations.

"Shih-shih…" Came a giggling female voice.

"Moo." A man's mumble.

"Yeah, that feels good!"

"Yeah, uh, uh, I, uh, like it."

"Moo, hum, huh …"

"Uh, hum, uh."

What were they doing in that small shower room? That small cell could barely …

“Oh my God. Don't!” I could not believe this. “Jenny and Dr. Johnston? What? Am I dreaming?” I took a bit of my finger, it hurt. "American are open and liberal in everything, you know!" I warned myself. "So don't be surprised. Just close your eyes and ears. It is you who has a problem. Purify yourself and sleep."

The noise, however, refused to go away. No matter how hard I tried, the noise persisted. Soon, it became a sound in rhyme, like a song a young mom rocking her baby to sleep; like a song the ocean gently slapping the coastal rocks; like a wind breeding through a half opened window...

I could not remember how long it lasted, but it sure sounded like forever.