Igirisu gin

Its been a while since I posted, mostly due to post-alcohol numbness but also a lot to do with boredom.

I needed a quest, and now with the zest of a freshly squeezed lime, I have one. Its started to reinvigour my whole banal existence, instead of mincing around in a general malaise I have a purpose: to do what a million others have done before me, take pictures of silly Japanese things, point and say "freaky! How strange are Japanese people!"

I feel like I'm turning into Chris Tarrant. For those of you not aware of how mind-boggingly stupid, ignorant, middle of the road, and just plain boring this man is take a look at this:


His hobby is fishing. I think you get the idea.

So after buying a ridiculously healthy lunch; cabbage and tomato salad, onigiri and an apple I waded through the hoarded isles of the shopping mall I work in. What luck! A true gem on my first hunt, behold the campest shaving foam I have ever beholden:


"Buy this and look like the Joker!"

" A quick shave, an inch of make up and some botched plastic surgery later, you too can look like me!"

Sweet holy Jimini Crickets Batman who the fuck is going to buy this!

While western men are falling over each other to prove just how big their balls are Japanese men are somewhat different. There's the old stereotype which I see far too often, just the other week I was at the yatai and some 50year old prick was busy giving his paid for girlfriend little slaps on the head whenever he was displeased with something she did, like speaking. Japanese people will call the police if you play your stereo too loud, but they'll quietly ignore some blatant wife beater because they don't want to cause a scene. Hypocracy? The other extreme is the emasculated male, which is every school girls' wet dream I hear. The high school girls' manga comics are filled with these stick thin waiflike characters who are supposed to be the height of attractiveness. I hear its a reaction that started in the 1960s when people began to turn away from the traditional ideas of masculinity after what happened in WW2. Good idea/bad idea? I think its about time men stopped measuring themselves by how big their pecs are, but looking like the Joker ain't exactly my style.

Now please excuse me while I go and stalk some effeminite looking men to put up here in digital form.

This week has seen some extensive bouts of drunkenness at one of the 'Yatai' in my town. A yatai is a food stall on the street which serves up a mixture of oden, ramen and lots of alcohol. The unbeatable combination of food and vast quantities of booze has rapidly made this my favourite hang out in Tokuyama.

These places used to be pretty common but, as Japan concretes over its past as fast as fuckin' possible so they can build another 7-11, the tsunami of consumerism has washed them all away. Fukuoka/Hakata (used to be 2 places but now its just one big city) is famous throughout Japan for its yatai and ramen. The thing with Japan is that its all the same these days with no local differences so the clever bods who run local councils have all come up with some gimmick to sell their cities. For example, my town's chief product aimed at tourists is chestnuts. I have no idea who the genius was who came up with that one but needless to say we're not exactly beating back the tourists. I have never seen a single chestnut tree in the 14 months I have lived here.

Anyways, to the best of my limited knowledge, Tokuyama is pretty much the only place outside of Fukuoka that has yatai. The stalls are these really old wooden carts which are wheeled into place and then hooked up to a generator or some improvised power hookup.

Antonio

Antonio, is the irreplacable host/chef/entertainer of our favoured yatai. He's the reason we keep on coming back for more. He's fascinated with Elvis Presley and Italy, hence his assumed name Antonio. This guy is a real legend, constantly knocking back sake and making sure everyone else is doing the same.



This is Antonio in mid-rendition of "It's Now or Never", a pretty regular occurrence in the space of a sake sodden night. Its turned into a little bit of a foreigner hangout recently with a few regulars eating and drinking til the early hours but also a great place to chat to drunken Japanese businessmen. In fact I am now a minor expert in the fish import business of Japan, now that's international networking!

A nasty wind was whipping through Tokuyama last tuesday night which meant cold beer was strictly off the menu. Que mass drunkenness as hot sake was consumed by the shitload:



Thats the offending blighter right there, this is only the beginning of the messyness



This is the result. Noriko completely battered, chatting to some random stranger and then looking the wrong way when I'm taking a photo. Ah, good times.

It seems like a long while since I left the shores of Blighty in a daze of lost sleep to wind up over here in Yamaguchi-ken, Japan. The fatigue wasn't such a problem it turned out, as Shunan-shi, my current home, is a sleepy town. Not to mention horribly industrial and smelly to boot. Lets just say that I don't like the place. Yamaguchi-ken is the highlighted bit of the map, in western Honshu.

As I am a lazy man, and I am sure all of those who know me will certainly vouch for this, this is my ultra hi-tech, cutting edge and slightly geeky way of letting you know whats up and down in my life.

Life has been good to me recently, I am still harmoniously cohabiting with my beautiful Japanese girlfriend and am now the manager of the school in the next town.

Thats the aforementioned girlfriend, no pics of school. We're looking spaced out after a fast paced tour of Kyoto with very little sleep.

Current plan is to come back to Albion next August, start your stopwatches!

Otherwise drop me a line at ppbkk498@ybb.ne.jp