My OperaDouble Whammy Week
Thursday, September 1, 2005 5:24:07 PM
This is not a fun week for me, emotionally. Not only do I have the healing of my recently being erased from my boyfriend's life, but I have to get through our "month-iversary," too. We always celebrated each month. So romantic and sweet. September 3 is going to be a tough day, people.
AND
Today is Taren's Birthday. Another person who suddenly, without explanation, rejected me coldly through email. I was the only one who took time to celebrate her birthday with her last year. I hope she's surrounded by people whom she loves and who care for her this time around. I don't know... maybe she will feel nostalgic and peruse here, remembering something good. If that's the only gift I am allowed to give her, then so be it.
God, it's so easy to make a case for my being some kind of a repulsive loser, but I continue to keep one step ahead of that idea consuming me. I really don't know what makes me so unwanted by some people, and yeah, MOST of the time I know that this is more about that other person's choices than it is about me and my worth, but you know...
IT JUST SUCKS.
AND
Today is Taren's Birthday. Another person who suddenly, without explanation, rejected me coldly through email. I was the only one who took time to celebrate her birthday with her last year. I hope she's surrounded by people whom she loves and who care for her this time around. I don't know... maybe she will feel nostalgic and peruse here, remembering something good. If that's the only gift I am allowed to give her, then so be it.
God, it's so easy to make a case for my being some kind of a repulsive loser, but I continue to keep one step ahead of that idea consuming me. I really don't know what makes me so unwanted by some people, and yeah, MOST of the time I know that this is more about that other person's choices than it is about me and my worth, but you know...
IT JUST SUCKS.
