STICKY POST
Wednesday, 18. April 2007, 22:39:03
Saturday, 11. October 2008, 15:45:46
ewww..
Saturday, 11. October 2008, 13:37:44
Another one Deb was kind enough to share..
An elderly man really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. So he decided to do something about that.
He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand. A bit later, two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the thing sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move the penis around with her cane.
Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the world."
The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"
The first little old lady replied, "Look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
"Now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild, and I'm too old to squat.
Friday, 10. October 2008, 11:49:31
the new dollar bill..
Friday, 10. October 2008, 09:53:28
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
the one in charge
"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's
systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all
over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach ," Because I process food and give
all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs , " because I carry the body
wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see
where it goes
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for
waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum And insulted him, so in a
huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was
bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and theblood Was toxic
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge
Friday, 10. October 2008, 09:50:10
Boksburg is a place in Johannesburg.. Hillbilly country.. *spits*
An oke (bloke) from Boksburg walks into a
hardware store and asks for a chain
saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour.
The salesman recommends the top
of the line model. The Boksburg oke'
is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back and says,
"This chainsaw is defective. It would
only cut down 1 tree and it took
ALL DAMN DAY!"
The salesman takes
the chain saw, starts it up to see what's
wrong, and the oke' from Boksburg
says,
"Jesuss, what's that noise?
Thursday, 9. October 2008, 01:26:28
An old man goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra. 'Can I have 6 tablets,
cut in quarters?'
'I can cut them for you' said the chemist 'but a quarter tablet will not
give you a full erection.'
'I am 96' said the old man . 'I don't want an erection.
I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'
Thursday, 9. October 2008, 01:24:21
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
life!
, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of
the night" She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at
the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been there twice in the
last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him
by the ears to make him come."
Wednesday, 8. October 2008, 09:09:22
Bobby Naidoo from Durbs, applies for a job as a salesman in Vrede in the
Vrystaat in a hyper store:-
The Manager says:
"Do you have any sales experience?"
Bobby says:
"S'true my Larnie, I was a salesman back in Grey street Durban 'n all."
Well, the boss liked the indian boytjie so he gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
Bobby says: "Larnie, Just ONE sale 'n all."
The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No!
You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one
sale.
By the way, how much was the sale for?"
Bobby says:
" R1,401,237.64"
Boss says:
"Bliksem..."R1,401,237.64? , what the hell did you sell?"
Bobby stutters:
"Sir Larnie Boss man, First I sell him the small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sell him new fishing rod and some fishing gear 'n all.
Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he tunes down on the coast, so
I'm tuning him he'll be needing boats 'n all in the Indian Ocean
cause I'm Indian and I'm knowing this, so we trapped down to the boating
department and I sell him twin engine Ocean going Craft.
Then he said he didn't think his Ford Bantam would pull it and I'm saying
true 'a all, so I took him down to our jammy automotive department
and sell him that 4X4 Hilux double-cab with a canopy 'n all my Larnie.
I then get to ask him where he'll be staying 'n all, and since he has no
possi to kip, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new
igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about a R1000 worth
of groceries and two cases of beer and I'm
scheming that's lekka 'n all and I gave him discount..."
The boss said:
"You're not serious?
A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck
and a tent?"
Bobby tunes:
"Nooit meneer, actually he came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife, and
I'm tuning him:
"Well, since your weekends stuffed 'n all, you might just as well go
fishing...
Tuesday, 7. October 2008, 01:19:42
another little stray that wanders around..
Here he is playing with a dead lizard..
this little kitty has the annoying habit of jumping on the windowsill when I open a window.. Scared me shitless the first time as it was night..
not funny at that moment..
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