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Wolf's Reign..

"Highway to Hell"

One of those 'Ever' moments..

Ever wake up in the morning with a chip on your shoulder? That little intense feeling that screams in your ear and makes you scream in return, "WTF??"
That little chip that makes you move around little things because they irritate you and you didn't put it there and it's their fault that they're not where they're supposed to be so I hate them and fuck this they're getting thrown out.
When that first cup of coffee tastes likes shit. That first bite of toast makes you wish you went for the flakes when anyone that speaks to you sounds like murder on your ears and they should just shut up now or that'll be their fate come the next few moments.
Ahem.

Ever get the idea that the way you sleep or dream is directly proportionate to how pissed off you are the next morning when you wake?
When tossing and turning in bed just is the order of the night and that one little lump that sticks in your back is the iceberg that sank Titanic incarnate. When every little sound and its mate wishes to give you a symphony of irritation just so you could clap with your ever fluttering eyes. When it happens that you do drift off for hopefully five minutes and you wake with a inability to recall what woke you, knowing it was some dream that's playing in a loop with some very interesting reason why you're waking every five fucking minutes.
Ever have that?
I've had that..

Ever realise that in our daily toil the things we most think about or that really bother us is the things that affect our subconscious which in turn makes us dream the little dreams we dream? Ever realise that what bothers us is the things most likely to show in your dreams and if that is some thing or person that you secretly despise/hate/loath for no apparent reason then this would be the reason that lump is jabbing in your back, why the coffee tastes bitter and the cat's gonna get it if it doesn't shut the fuck up.
It's the reason that chip is there. It's the reason why the world feels wrong. It is everything and I mean every fucked up thing with this day..

So ever have that? :whistle:.

Ever have your second cup of coffee and decide that it tastes a whole lot better after you've bitched about some chip on your shoulder?

Could've just brushed that chip off huh? :rolleyes:

want some dessert?

Kudos to wickedlizard for
these.. p: yes people.. Send me your weird stuff.. :D

Men are just happier people..

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ...
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337 A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.





I'm so getting killed for this one..


BRAAI RULES. 2009 / 2010
We are about to enter the BRAAI season. Therefore it is important to refresh
your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.
When a man volunteers to do the BRAAI the following chain of events are put
into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert
.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who
is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone
where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can
take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.


More routine....
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great..
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the
meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his
cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ', and, upon
seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women.


Familiar no?


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