Contridentuallity

Have you noticed that some days people speed like living demons, and then on other days everyone drives to terribly slowly.

It's just a weird feeling. I'm not sure if it's the weather, the time of the day, etc... but it seems like everyone adjusts their driving speed due to something.

Freaks me out...

I have a really, really, really bad habit...

Since I work from home, behind the computer all the time, I cannot help myself otherwise than to watch movies continuously and constantly. The just seem to pop up in all the right places and then I can't resist to go make a sandwhich with coffee as a probable and reasonable excuse for watching atleast a few minutes of the movie.

Off course...a few minutes turns into a second, third and fourth cup of coffee. Before I know it, the movie comes to an end and I've been sitting for 2 hours doing everything and anything but work.

How can guilt possibly be so overwhelming and dominating? Does anyone know?
Will I eventually start getting nightmares about watching movies when I most probably should be doing more constructive and positive things? Hehe

Btw...have any of you seen Dexter?
The series of the serial killer, taking justice in his own hands.
I've been watching 12 episodes over the past 3 days. Hectic...

For the first time in my life, I realized how complicated and mind grating relationships together with all related factors can actually be.

I guess the reason why I'm only realizing this now is because I've never really felt the need for a solid, steady, long-term relationship. Life's been about my work for the past 2 years, trying to create a better future for myself which my parents didn't leave behind. Sadly shocking, but true...

Ok, so I met her. I came into contact with the person whom I feel I can relate with. The one whom gives me pleasure, joy and clarity about both myself and life all around me. It was an amazing feeling to be able to communicate and connect with her the way we did.

See...it's a long story. We used to be friends in high school. Then we didn't see one another for over 4 years. We managed to get together again (with no intentions in mind), but the fireworks went off. Neither of us could help it. We simply weren't meant to be friends anymore. There had to more...and there was, but everything was ended today with sweet, yet depressingly sad farewell text message.

Unfortunately she is not single. She's been dating a guy for over 2 years, whom she truly and deeply loves with all of her heart. They are talking about maraige...can you fucking believe that? Anyways...we spoke about everything and she said that if she were single, I'd be hers and she mine. Sounds soppy...but it really meant alot to hear that from her own mouth. Unfortunately she simply cannot throw away the man she loves for one she doesn't love...nevermind...doesn't even know that well.

Fact remains, I know how I feel...and she probably does too. The situation is in her hands. If she doesn't take it, she will lose it forever, since I'll certainly not be sitting around, waiting for someone to become physically free in order to satisfy her soul. Sounds rude, I know, but I have worse assumptions and thoughts. Case she doesn't feel as strong about us as I do, she either doesn't deserve me, or it is not meant to be. Simple as that. Don't you agree?

Not really sure what else to do. It should happen, or it shouldn't. It's in the hands of fate now. Scary...

I thought I'd share my FLV Video Player v3.0 design with you guys to get some feedback, comments and critics. Please see the screenshot below and let me know what you think.



Thanks! All comments will be greatly appreciated.

Please Note :
The current version can be found here : www.flvvideoplayer.com

So...I've had this acoustic guitar for a very, very long time. Probably about 5 years. Even so, I've never really been much into playing songs as much as I probably should have been.

I used to write my own songs and play some stuff which other people taught me, though I couldn't really play many different songs. Also, I managed to teach myself quite a bit about music theory and specifically guitar teqniques.

For the past few days, I've been grabbing the guitar of the couch, trying to play a bit. I realized that I still have Guitar Pro 5 with thousands, no, hundreds of thousands of songs with full tabs, lyrics, notes, etc...so I've been digging into that.

Been playing "3doorsdown - Kryptonite" and "Muse - Falling Away" today. The lead guitar tabs for both of these songs aren't really too complicated. I'm really enjoying it.

Will definitely continue playing...