Contridentuallity

Tonight I'll be dining with a very close friend of mine named "Yolande". We don't really see one another as often as we would like to due to work and different schedules, etc...

We usually email back and forth in the mornings, since she only has a computer in the classroom where she teaches. In the afternoon, I know I won't get a response from her.

Anyways...we decided to meet at a shopping mall named "Menlyn Mall" and dine at a restaurant named "Baobab". Not sure if it's only a local trademark, but yeah...it's a great place.

They have a lovely, yet huge balcony hanging over a large part of the mall. It's in the open, with practically no lights other than candles on the tables. It really does create a soothing atmosphere and allows one to get half-drunk without anyone noticing... hehe... just kidding.

I'm really looking forward to meeting her. She is almost like a sister to me. It feels like I know her so well, though I guess I don't and I also don't see her often. She seriously is one of the most realistic, polite, considering and caring person I have ever met. With her extended amount of knowledge and experience, she always has an answer for everything.

Anyways...gotta get some work done before 7pm.
Still a long way to go till then, but time really flies.

Please be advised that there is foul language in this post...

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Here is a shot of my Opera speed dial :

Today is a really sad day for me…
Yes…it’s a she…and her name is Ilze Riekert

Now, this might sound totally insane, but I haven’t seen her for several years. I haven’t spoken to her for probably about 4 years now, but I’ve been missing her all this time.

When I was in 11th grade, this girl and I had a relationship. She was the one whom came onto me at first, asking me for my phone number. Then things got rolling…she couldn’t leave me alone. The relationship started, but for me it was just a “fling” and I didn’t really add any value to the situation at all.

Things ended up badly because of many reasons. None of them which were her fault, but everything which can be blamed on me. I was hard-headed, didn’t care much for her and had no clue about love.

I can kick myself…

One always realize that you miss something really badly when it’s WAY too late.
I’ve decided to get into contact with her again. Even if it’s just to be friends…that will be fine with me.
Such a lovely girl doesn’t deserve what I did to her 4 years ago, and I’d do anything to make it up to her.

I’ve never been the same without her again. I’m sure that I’ve also been on her thoughts many times since the last time we’ve seen one another. She really loved me very much. She had so much determination to make things work and seemed so sure of what she had in me. Dammit…

Problem is that I have no idea how to get hold of her. We completely lost contact and I can’t get hold of her phone number (which I used to have, but not anymore). I’m not even sure if she still lives where she used to. I guess I can go and have a look when I’m ready, but I doubt that she still lives there, since a few years ago she mentioned something about moving to a new place. Oh well…that will be my best bet.

If only she could read this and contact me…
What a relief that would be. Oh boy…I’m sure I’ll literally be jumping up and down!!!

I miss you…I really do…