Friday, January 19, 2007 3:06:35 PM
感情, 长大
在路上
一个人在他23岁时被人所陷害，在牢房里呆了9年，后来冤案告破，他终于走出了监狱。出狱后，他开始了常年如一日的反复控诉、咒骂：“我真不幸，在简直不是人居住的地方，狭窄得连转身都困难。唯一的细小窗口里几乎看不到星点灿烂的阳光，冬天寒冷难忍：夏天蚊虫叮咬……”
73岁那年，在贫困交加中，他终于卧床不起。弥留之际，墓室来到他的床前：“可怜的孩子，去天堂之前，忏悔你在人世间一切的罪恶吧……”牧师的话音刚落，病床上的他声嘶力竭地喊叫起来：“我没有什么需要忏悔！我需要的是诅咒！诅咒那些施与我不幸命运的人！”
牧师长叹了一口气：“可怜的人，您真是世界上最不幸的人，对您的不幸，我真的感到万分同情和悲痛。但他人囚禁了你区区九年，而当你走出监牢本该获取永久自由的时候，您却用心底里的仇恨、抱怨、诅咒囚禁了自己整整41年！”
也许看到这里，你会和我一样，向那位可怜而可悲的人投去同情却略带嘲讽的目光。但当我再次将目光聚焦在自己的内心深处时，灵魂不由得感到了一阵刺痛。
和许多人一样，每当遇到挫折，遇到命运的考验，乃至嘲讽，我都会抱怨命运的不公，抱怨人生之路的崎岖。甚至责问自己，为何要在这样的路上艰难的走下去？
我们总以为人生中有那么一条路，通向成功，或是某个我们心中的目标。之所以会面对坎坷，遇到挫折，只是因为道路被扭曲了，是因为上帝在玩弄我们。
我们总认为人生中有那么一条路，夹道遍布鲜花，蝴蝶飞舞，山花烂漫。我们需要做的，仅仅是慢慢欣赏这一切，然后走向终点。
倘若这样想，那才是人生中真正的悲剧！
鲁迅说过，这个世界上被没有路，走的人多了，就成了路。
人生中有那么一条路，它是光明的，它被鲜花所包围。长辈们，先行者们，为我们踏出了这条路。然而，当越来越多的人在这条路上无忧无虑的走向终点时，它开始失去往日的光芒。最终，在那条路上的人们成为了行尸走肉。
当我们发现自己所走的路上，没有鲜花，只有荆棘时，我们不该抱怨命运，而应该感谢命运！命运指引我们走向了一条全新的道路。甚至还不是一条路。但是，我们的足迹，我们的脚印，正在筑就它，正在成就它。当它终于到达了终点时，它成为了一条灿烂的，绚丽的阳光大道。前人的路在它面前黯然失色。即便它还不是那么平整，即便它还是被荆棘充斥着，但成功的种子已经被埋入了路旁的泥土中。那么，离山花烂漫还会远吗？
走在路上，不要再抱怨命运之神的不公。因为人生本来就不该有什么一成不变的路，我们所需要做的，便是把这些泥泞的小径，踏成大道，然后再走向另一条泥泞小道，仅此而已。
这个世界，本来就是因为有那么多路才会显得美丽。难道不是吗？
Sunday, January 7, 2007 10:22:16 AM
感情
To a man who is casted away by the god's last mercy
The only belif to continue his life
Just because he'll never wanna those who loving him to cry...
When he finally find that
There won't be anyone
Who will fell sad after his vinishing
The only end for him
Will be death
or... Madness...
Every second
Every moment
Someone is turning into vinishing
Maybe you, maybe I...
Cuddle the time closly
Never wanna it goes away
Can't go back to the past
The last way to release myself is singing in the rain
Full of pain, full of sadness
God won't hear my screaming
Only my heart is breaking and bleeding
You are lying beside me
Looking through the sky
You said: I won't let you die, even if there is such a thing called "Heaven"
I smiled, but crying deeply inside my heart.
I tried to cheat you, but once again, heart destoryed everything.
Maybe sometime hurting also means love.
"Can you see the blue sky? That's where I lived."
"Maybe, but now you will no longer belong to it."
"For what?"
"Because I love you."
Cuddle you close to my heart, close my eyes.
Rain began to fall down.
Like tears in the eyes
Falling on my face, falling on my heart.
Try to hide the tears and try to sing for you.
Time began to break loose from my arm, memory began to leave my life.
What I have is just your love...
The day you go away will be the day return my home.
The eternal blue sky...
Sunday, December 31, 2006 12:31:36 PM
长大
With the time slowly passed by, everything had turns back to the history. Ran away from our life and ran into our memory.Memorize this year, just for the sadness.
From the heaven, falling down towards the hell. Every seconds has changed my life. Lying on the shoulder of music, I hardly passed the time.Kill the memory full of tears.The body and heart have been seriously hurt.For what...How can I say "love"?
Deeply inside my heart, someone or something is dying.With the heart bleeding, it began to turn into vanish. Every sound began to be silent.With the wind cries, I threw the scar away, putting head up, towards the sky. Just believing the heaven. Just believeing the future.
Standing on the bridge, feeling the cold wind, trying to look through the water. Nothing can be seen. Trying to see through the moon, nothing can be seen.
It suddenly occurs to me that it's time to say good-bye.
Say good-bye to everything passed by. The time, the love, the sadness, the happiness. Saving the memory of what really important to me.That's what I should do.
Whatever, however, everything will turns into beauty.Say good-bye to 2006, and extand our wings towards the 2007...
Saturday, December 9, 2006 4:40:18 AM
感情, Hide
Draging your tired body
You covered yourself with the pure water
Taking a rest inside your heart
Releasing the pain inside your body
Put the head up
Towards the dim light
Trying to forget the sadness
Trying to forbid the heart
With the towel around your neck
Arrived it...
Opened your eyes again
Everything was void
Sadness, pain, acedia, jealousy
And tears...
Where...and when?
It's the heaven in your heart
Endless pain ends here
Forever sadness disappeared here
Eternal dream turns into beauty here...
Every drop of memory slowly fly away from your soul
Raise your hand
Put it above your eyes
With the light runs into your eyes
You smiled, spread the wings
Began to fly away...
The hair
Like a handful of fire
Drew a line of contrail
Far away from time
Far away from reality...
Holding her hands
Looking through the sky
Trying to find something in the air
Trying to find something in the heaven
With or without you
Wind blowing on our face
Cuddled closely
Still smiling...
8 years later
I'm standing here
Listening to your silent wisper
Feeling the endless rain
Longing your hearing of my heart
To you and me
Alive or death is the same
Can't say anything...
Won't say anything...
Wiping my tears from my face
Nothing can be seen...
Just feeling the forever love to you
Tell me the truth of my life...
Or crucify my love on your mind...
Hide
You will be the eternal angel in our mind
Nomatter how the sands of time is runing away
We'll still keep you in our heart...
Red Angel...Pure Angel...
Wednesday, December 6, 2006 11:34:02 AM
感情
夜 静静得拉开了她的帷幕
我却永远的被埋葬
被忘却的人 被抛却的人
无人的街头
慢慢的走着
沉重的脚步
踏在美丽的落叶上
发出清脆的破碎声
是叶 碎了？
还是 记忆 碎了？
漫无目的 张望着
寻找着你那缥缈的身影
夜 很静
心如止水 聆听着
回忆着你那优美的旋律
雨 很冷
究竟在哪里……
雨夜的寂寞开始吞噬我的思绪
时间开始离开我的灵魂
开始走向永恒？或是……
消亡……
究竟在哪里……
熟悉的琴声开始淹没我的记忆
感知开始离开我的肉体
开始走向宁静？或是……
无声……
终点，慢慢浮现
雨夜中 最后的一丝光
照亮了惨白的琴键
依稀看见了你的名字
是我的原点吗……
无力的双手
在空中划过一条模糊的弧线
触摸到冰冷的琴键
灼热的血，慢慢流淌
与琴键交融
散逸
留下一点点鲜红的印记
指尖的伤口
随着旋律的交替
开始决堤……
最后一个音符
在空中慢慢散去
一滴晶莹的泪水 落在鲜红的琴键上
与血交融
溅落在了你的名字上
微笑着
我在你的名字前睡去
哭泣着
泪与血开始干涸……
混沌的记忆 开始消散
最后的意识 开始模糊
你 永远无法知道
有一个人……为你而死
有一滴泪……为你而流
当死神将你召回她的身边
希望你能看到
这个人的笑容……
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 8:55:50 AM
感情
起点 终点，在这里重合
幸福 泪水，在这里交织
无尽的时间
随着时之沙的消逝
走向了那个属于我的尽头
看似永恒的生命
脱去了她华丽的外衣
脆弱的心灵在这一刻支离破碎
没有爱，也感受不到痛苦
如此的空寂
如此的安详
肉体慢慢被时间所吞噬
灵魂开始苏醒
沉寂已久的绝望与伤感
再一次浸润了颤抖的灵魂
连最后一丝拥有宁静的权利都被剥夺
一个疲惫的影子向着哭泣的灵魂
慢慢的走来
一个遍体鳞伤的孩子向着凄凉的墓碑
慢慢的走来
当目光与灵魂相遇
他瞌上了双眼
一把弓 一把琴
第一滴泪水 渗透着第一个曼妙的音符 开始流淌
第一个音符 伴随着第一滴冰冷的眼泪 开始飘扬
指尖的惊鸣
旋律间的悲鸣
使灵魂茫然
弥撒般的庄严 丧钟般的沉重
无法遏止的伤痛 无法忘却的记忆
伴随着乐曲的终结
散了...
弓 停了
弦 停了
乐声 依然徘徊在孩子与灵魂之间
他向孩子招手
孩子的脸上出现了久违的微笑……
缓缓走去……
风 还在和煦的吹着
虚无的时间 还在流淌着
然而 墓地却被时间所抛弃
走向了永恒
孩子 灵魂...灵魂 孩子...
一切 都结束了……
Saturday, October 28, 2006 12:51:45 PM
长大
小时候听过这样一个寓言故事：在一个寒冷的冬天，一只饥饿的狼发现了一只野兔，便不停追赶。兔子走投无路，情急之下，钻进了一个树洞。狼哪肯放过就要到手的美味？便死死守在洞口。夜深了，狼冷得直发抖。但为了吃到野兔，狼怎么也不愿离开。第二天，野兔从洞口探出头来，发现狼已经死了。野兔大摇大摆地走出洞口，踏过狼的尸体，扬长而去。
曾经只是为善良的野兔战胜凶恶的狼而感到高兴。如今，却明白了几分深刻的道理。
兔子在“今天”与“明天”中，把绝对的劣势扭转成为了最终的胜利，它所凭借的是什么？机智？抑或是耐心？
其实兔子只是明白，“今天”并不意味着“明天”。它不曾屈服于今天。面对着极度劣势的今天，它选择了等待明天。即便明天不会比今天更好，只要还有机会，便决不放弃。正是这样，兔子才得以踏着狼的尸体扬长而去。
而狼呢？在与兔子的决斗中，无疑它是绝对的强势。但最终却惨死于风雪中。又是什么杀死了它？兔子？还是他自身的欲望？
也许是由于绝对的优势使它忘却了明天的存在，强迫自己把握住今天。在那一瞬间，饥饿的因素也许远没有它的主观因素起着更重要的作用。正是因为它不愿意放弃强势，正是因为他不愿放弃今天的一切，才最终走向了灭亡。
有人会嘲笑这则寓言的幼稚，有人会嘲笑狼的愚蠢。但反思自己，我们的一生中，似乎经常在重演着狼的悲剧。
我们从小就被告知要把握今天，并且被警示切莫重蹈明日复明日的悲剧。市的，我们理当把握住现在的一切。但若是我们失败了，我们该怎么做？继续坚守着今天？那么，结局只能是兔的灭亡！若是我们成功了呢？还是坚持在今天？那结局便是狼的灭亡！
倘若兔子恪守“今天”，它将死于狼口。
倘若狼学会放弃“今天”，它将最终获得胜利。
无论何时，今天永远只是明天的昨天，今天的一切都只是未来漫漫长路上的石子。把握今天的同时，我们似乎还应该学会等待明天。
只管走过去，不必都留着采了花朵来保存，因为一路上花朵自会继续开放的。
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 11:56:42 AM
Songs
-------------------------------------------------
Night Poem ~ 暗泣·序曲Soliloquy:
The days were darker
Air was more asphyxial
Nights is coming with darkness
The eidolon of moon was talking above the river
Walking in the air
Floating in the dark sky
All lives had gone to the long sleep
The sleep with the sadly dream 
Far away from the sky
An angel was crying in the darkness
For what?
Angel's tears means what?
Nobody but I know
It was acedia
The acedia from the madness of the ignorant one
Who made her sleeping in the pain...lonely
Towards the sky
I fly to the darkness
When the moon hidden in the clouds
The cry stopped
There was nothing but silent
Nothing but a deep sound was directing me
Finally I saw the angel with bloody wings
The angel with bloody eyes
The bloody tears in her eyes
She was smiling to me
But I could't fell any warm in my heart
I tried to say something
But I found I can't say anything
Even a word
I tried to fly away
But...I had been locked
With the black chain around my neck
I didn't know
What will happen to me
Soliloquy:
Just close your eyes
All will soon return to the reality...
With the eyes closed
I fall into deep sleep...
Soliloquy:
Wind slowly blowing trough the trees
Nothing can be seen
The sound of the swaing trees
Filled all the world... -------------------------------------------------
Night Poem ~ 追忆·前夜Soliloquy:
The world rushes on
Over the strings of the lingering heart making...
The music of sadness...
I was awaken in the dream
Dream was a wonderland
I tried to smile
But something was still breaking my heart
What is that...
I tried to destroy the dream
I tried to destroy the shadow of the angel
Once again
I failed...
In the dream
I saw you
You were in the wight cope
Just like an angel
The bloody angel
The sky was dark...
The moon was still hidden behind the cloud
My heart was bleeding...
But I still believe our love will never vanish
How could I be so stupid?
How could I be so puerile?
The answer maybe
I had been lost in your eyes...
Soliloquy:
You said nothing
I said nothing
Looking through your eyes
I can't understand what I have thought
Wish? despair? love? hate?
aLive? or...Death?
I cuddled you closely
There is no expression on your face.
How can you hear my heart beating?
Your cold face is destroying my mind
Your cold heart is destroying my soul...
More and more slow..
I suddenly know my heart will soon die...
And I will forever forget you
Sometime
I fall into the sand
The sand of time we share together
With the tears falling down
My love for you was running away
Just like the river with tears
You can't know my mind
I can't say anything to you
How could we said love
How could we swear to each other?
I can't believe the truth
I try to release myself from the reality
Soliloquy:
Once again
I failed
I saw the smile of the angel
This time
My eyes closed again
I can feel the tears in my eyes
Sleep in the dream? -------------------------------------------------
Night Poem ~ 复苏·歇奏Soliloquy:
Picking up the memory of you
You didn't realize my pain
Because... I don't wanna you to commiserate me
You can say nothing in return to my tears
You can turn yourself back towards me
What can I do?
Hate you?
Or...try to live without you?
Maybe...just missing you...
I gave up the idea of flying
Because of the wet air
The cold wet air
Because of the frozen heart
The bleeding frozen heart
The rain finally fell down
Holding up my head
Towards the sky
Wind was blowing the rain to my face
With the rain falling
With the wind blowing
I finally realized
You were trying to make yourself pleased with my blood
You were just a vinishing love before me
There is no reason to stay for the love:star:
-------------------------------------------------
Night Poem ~ 神舞·翌日Soliloquy:
So the most distant way in the world
Is not in two distant trees
It is the same rooted branches
Can't enjoy the co-existance
So The most distant way in the world
Is not the way from birth to the end
It is when i sit near you
That you don't understand I love you:star:
In the silent night
I finally leave your shadow alone
I finally leave your memory alone
All the image of you have been erased
From no on
I am the one who live without love
My world rushes on
Over the strings of the lingering heart
Making the music of sadness
Thanks the angel
Thanks the dream she gave me
Air was sober
Days was coming with the light
The eidolon of moon slowly disappeared
Walking in the air
Floating in the blue sky
All lives had gone to the reality
The reality with aLive...
Inside my heart...
Soliloquy:
Shadow
With her veil drawn
Follows Light in secret meekness
With her silent steps of love...
-------------------------------------------------
End
Saturday, September 23, 2006 3:14:02 AM
Songs
Desert Rose
Why do you live alone?
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold gray sand
The winds of time You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain
I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt?
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me
I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love
Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me
Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out:
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"
I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love
Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"The earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live,
Cannot end my life
Keep on crying
Close my eyes
Time breaths I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls
You can't draw a picture of yesterday,
so You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
With a rope around your neck
you build a wall of morality and take a breath
From between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You're putting the scraps of life together
And trying to make an asylum for yourself
You’re hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
And you are trying to kill me
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, do I try to love in my dream
I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams
Close my eyes
Rose breaths I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life outside my mind
Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?
I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, do I try to love
Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:29:57 AM
Songs
The days were darker
Air was more asphyxial
Nights is coming with darkness
The eidolon of moon was talking above the river
Walking in the air
Floating in the dark sky
All lives had gone to the long sleep
The sleep with the sadly dream
Far away from the sky
An angel was crying in the darkness
For what?
Angel's tears means what?
Nobody but I know
It was acedia
The acedia from the madness of the ignorant one
Who hurt her heart
Who made her sleep in the pain
Towards the sky
I fly to the darkness
When the moon hidden in the clouds
The cry stopped
There was nothing but silent
Nothing but a deep sound was directing me
Finally I saw the angel with bloody wings
The angel with bloody eyes
The eyes with bloody tears
She was smiling to me
But I could't fell any warm in my heart
I tried to say something
But I found I can't say anything
Even a word
I tried to fly away
But...I had been locked
With the black chain around my neck
I didn't know
What will happen to me
She said
Just close your eyes
All will soon return to the reality
With the eyes closed
I fall into deep sleep...
I was awaken in the dream
Dream was a wonderland
I try to smile
But something is still breaking my heart
What is that...
I try to destroy the dream
I try to destroy the shadow of the angel
Once again
I failed...
In the dream
I saw you
You were in the wight cope
Just like an angel
The bloody angel
The sky was dark...
The moon was still hidden behind the cloud
My heart was dark...
But I still believe our love will never be dark
How could I be so stupid?
How could I be so puerile?
The answer maybe
I'm still loving you
You said nothing
I said nothing
Looking through your eyes
I can't understand what I have thought
Wish? despair? love? hate?
aLive? or...Death?
I cuddled you closely
There is no expression on your face.
How can you hear my heart beating?
Your cold face is destroying my mind
Your cold heart is destroying my sold...
More and more slow..
I suddenly know my heart will soon die...
And I will forever forget you
Sometime
I fall into the sand
The sand of time we share together
With the tears falling down
My love for you was running away
Just like the river with tears
You can't know my mind
I can't say anything to you
How could we said love
How could we swear to each other?
I can't believe the truth
I try to release myself from the reality
Once again
I failed
I saw the smile of the angel
This time
My eyes closed again
I can feel the tears in my eyes
Sleep in the dream?
The moon finally broke the chain of cloud
I was awaken from the dream
Sleeping above the cold stone
Angel disappeared
Tears were left in my eyes
I tried to fly myself
When I stood up
The teardrop suddenly fall down from my eyes
Like a piece of ice...
Who was the angel...
Or...She?
Picking up the memory of you
You didn't realize my pain
Because... I don't wanna you to commiserate me
You can say nothing in return to my tears
You can turn yourself back towards me
What can I do?
Hate you?
Or...try to live without you?
Maybe...just missing you...
I gave up the idea of fly
Because of the wet air
The cold wet air
Because of the frozen heart
The bleeding frozen heart
The rain finally fell down
Holding up my head
Towards the sky
Wind was blowing the rain to my face
With the rain falling
With the wind blowing
I finally realized
You were trying to make yourself pleased with my blood
You were just a vinishing love before me
There is no reason to stay for the love
So the most distant way in the world
Is not in two distant trees
It is the same rooted branches
Xan't enjoy the co-existance
So The most distant way in the world
Is not the way from birth to the end
It is when i sit near you
That you don't understand I love you
In the silent night
I finally leave your shadow alone
I finally leave your memory alone
All the image of you have been erased
From no on
I am the one who live without love
My world rushes on
Over the strings of the lingering heart
Making the music of sadness
Thanks the angel
Thanks the dream she gave me
Air was sober
Days was coming with the light
The eidolon of moon slowly disappeared
Walking in the air
Floating in the blue sky
All lives had gone to the reality
The reality with aLive...
Inside my heart...
Shadow
With her veil drawn
Follows Light in secret meekness
With her silent steps of love...
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My Opera
