My Opera[6.3.2011] Philosopher in love
Sunday, March 6, 2011 12:24:51 PM
It is a sad Sunday afternoon. I am listening album "First love" of Yiruma when I miss him a lot. How can I call him? My love? A friend? A younger brother or a stranger?
We knew each others two years ago through a forum when he was seventeen and I was twenty-five . The reason we joined that topic was so simple: we both liked a Korean drama at that time "The painters of the wind". I wrote some articles for this topic drama and I could not believe that he was fond of me. The first time I realised that he was my soul friend when he commented about my music video. He called out my mistake and asked me with a metaphor sentence. I answered him with a little bit suprised then I started to like him much more than I did before.
I chatted to him outside the forum and I also liked the way he consoled me when I was upset. I considered him as my close friend then I loved him without noticing. Although he was eight years younger than me, he seemed older than his real age. Everything was so crazy because I did not know anything about him. I did not know his face, his real name or where he lived but I really loved him day by day.
One day he said that he wanted to leave me. I cried a lot and at that time, I realised that I had loved him very much. I had no way to keep him besides me so I told him the truth: my feeling about him. He kept silence then he admitted: he loved me, too. He thought at first that I had had a boyfriend so he had not any chance in love with me.
The next three months, we was happy together. He promised me that he would try by himself to love me and become my husband in future. This was our first love but we did not meet each others yet. At that time, he was so busy because his final academic year at high school. I just thought he was tired with many kind of exercises and I was a barrier. He was a seventeen years old boy , I am an adult. There was a generation gap between us. I asked him to say good bye for his own career. He was very angry and then, our love broke up forever.
He was a child in that year.
I was an insane person.
Although I still love him very much but he has not enough forgiveness for me. I also know that he still loves me and has no girlfriend. I cannot forget him and this love has been hurt inside my heart. I want to say how much I love him but everything is so late.
No one can help me.
Nothing can change.
We knew each others two years ago through a forum when he was seventeen and I was twenty-five . The reason we joined that topic was so simple: we both liked a Korean drama at that time "The painters of the wind". I wrote some articles for this topic drama and I could not believe that he was fond of me. The first time I realised that he was my soul friend when he commented about my music video. He called out my mistake and asked me with a metaphor sentence. I answered him with a little bit suprised then I started to like him much more than I did before.
I chatted to him outside the forum and I also liked the way he consoled me when I was upset. I considered him as my close friend then I loved him without noticing. Although he was eight years younger than me, he seemed older than his real age. Everything was so crazy because I did not know anything about him. I did not know his face, his real name or where he lived but I really loved him day by day.
One day he said that he wanted to leave me. I cried a lot and at that time, I realised that I had loved him very much. I had no way to keep him besides me so I told him the truth: my feeling about him. He kept silence then he admitted: he loved me, too. He thought at first that I had had a boyfriend so he had not any chance in love with me.
The next three months, we was happy together. He promised me that he would try by himself to love me and become my husband in future. This was our first love but we did not meet each others yet. At that time, he was so busy because his final academic year at high school. I just thought he was tired with many kind of exercises and I was a barrier. He was a seventeen years old boy , I am an adult. There was a generation gap between us. I asked him to say good bye for his own career. He was very angry and then, our love broke up forever.
He was a child in that year.
I was an insane person.
Although I still love him very much but he has not enough forgiveness for me. I also know that he still loves me and has no girlfriend. I cannot forget him and this love has been hurt inside my heart. I want to say how much I love him but everything is so late.
No one can help me.
Nothing can change.
