My Blog, It's Personal

Damn, it's been like forever since I typed a new blog entry. So many things have changed since the last one.

Well, about a month and a half ago I broke up with Megan, but a few days ago I decided to go back out with her. I realized that I still had feelings for her, and I couldn't ignore them, even though she treated me like complete shit before I broke up with her. I just don't get it!

Umm...ok, there's this guy at school named Kris, and he really likes Megan. I don't mean just likes, I mean he REALLY REALLY likes her to the point of obsession. It's wierd. He was all over her before we broke up, and I nearly kicked his ass. Oh, did I mention that this kid is a damn freshman??? Yeah, Megan and I are Juniors if that puts things in better perspective for you.

This kid is a man-whore. I'm not even kidding. He basically goes after all of his friends, even the guys, who he thinks he has a chance of going out with. Yes, he is Bisexual.

Oh, and this kid has the biggest damned ego i have ever seen!!! He thinks he's some hot shit, but just b/c he's pretty smart he thinks he's on top of the world. He even punched me in the chest yesterday! That little asshole! On the last day of school, I think i'm just gonna punch him in the face! It would certainly make me feel much better. I just hate the shit that he is doing. He also got really upset when he found out that Megan and I are going out again, and he was pouting this morning at the breakfast table at school.

That kid is seriously an asshole. I hate his damn guts, but since he's Megan's friend, i try to be pleasant to him. I am seriously gonna punch him in the damn face the next time he does something to piss me off. I'm not joking.

Oh, i have been learning how to write HTML code in Computer Apps for the last 2 weeks, and i think i have it downpat. It's pretty easy. I am already starting to use it for personal purposes, like for my MySpace. I have been using it on my profile to center pics, and seperate text, and it's working out very nicely.

Um, I took some new pics a few minutes ago, and i think i will upload them on here soon so that you guys can see them. They are just pics of me, but yeah. I look kinda depressed in them, which is how i look most of the time, but w/ev. That's what some people tell me.

I think i am starting to turn a little bit punk. I have been wearing black t-shirts a lot lately, and i have been listening to punk rock and shit like that. I have also been listening to emo music, but yeah. I'm either turning emo or punk. I'm probably closer to emo though just b/c of all the shit that goes on in my head, and all the shit that has screwed me up over the years. Ha, what would Megan say if she could read this?? lol, that would be funny.

I can't believe that summer break is almost here!!! I will be out of school for 2 and a half months, and i honestly can't wait! I really need the break from stress and bullshit drama, although i will miss getting to see my friends all the time. That will kinda suck. I'm glad that i am getting a lot of time away from school though.

I swear if i have to deal with this stress for much longer i am gonna blow!!! That's why i really need summer to get here soon.

Damn, i think i might have to have surgery on my right knee. It has really been giving me trouble the last few months. I have to wear a knee brace almost all the time now just to keep the damn thing from hurting. Maybe I should just chop the leg off now and be done with it, lol. J/k, j/k. Totally kidding. I couldn't live w/o one of my legs. Plus, that's just crazy talk.

Seriously, this knee is driving me nuts. If I leave this brace off for too long, my knee starts hurting again, and i hate that b/c i want to run track next year, and i need to be able to run w/o a brace. I have been riding my bike at least 3 miles every day just to get in better shape so that i can do track next year. I just hope i can get into good enough shape by the fall. If not, then i will just have to abandon my hopes of running track....

Anyway....Jenna and i have become so close since i broke up with Megan a couple of months ago. We have been talking almost every day. It's great b/c i really enjoy talking to her, and we are best friends anyway, so yeah.

Ya know, i almost thought about asking Jenna out b/c we have so much in common, but i'm not sure if i like her that way or not, and vice versa. I'm kinda wondering if i should have run it by her....oh well, i guess it's a little late now b/c Megan and i are going out again. I'm still pretty happy being with Megan.....for right now, anyway. If she starts getting jealous and doing the same shit she did the first time we went out, then i'm gonna have to break up with her again.

Anyway, i guess that's about it. I'll talk to yall later! Message me if ya want!

Damn, it feels like i am losing my mind! A lot of things are happening all at once, and it's quite overwhelming. Ummm.......i have an english project due in 2 weeks, and i will have to do a research paper after that, and i'm just oh-so-excited about that, lol:lol:

Anyway...it's almost Valentines Day!!! I'm so excited! I still need to go and get Megan's other gifts, but i haven't had the time lately b/c everything has been so crazy. Ok, i thought i was gonna write more in this post, but i completely lost my train of thought.

Holy crap, i freakin' hate exams!!! It is, once again, time for our End-of-course exams, or EOC's. I hate this time of year b/c of them. I always dread exam time b/c it always brings chaos, confusion, and an unbelievable amount of stress. This is the most stress that i have ever had from exams!

Oh, just to let ya know how much stress i am feeling, i punched something again. I did it on friday night around 8:00, and nearly broke my hand. I actually thought that i had broken my hand, and i went to the ER just to found out that i have a contusion(fancy word for bruise) on the bones in my right hand. I was pissed that we waited 3 hours for nothing. I can't believe that! That's also $100 that we paid so that they could tell me that i had a bruised bone. It's feeling better, but i'm still stressed. I think i need to punch something else to release the stress. It's driving me insane!

Ok, i think i'm losing my mind. I can't remember half of what has happened today. I also misplaced my favorite knife! I'm freaking out b/c that knife is my one sense of security, and i can't find it. That freaks me out. I have turned this house upside-down looking for the damn thing, but have had no success. I'm gonna be really pissed if Bree took it! She claims that she hasn't touched it, but i don't know whether to believe that or not. She took all of my other knives, and she has lied to me before, so i'm not sure if i can trust her right now. I'm really considering punching something again. It would really help. I have this terrible numb feeling all over and it's really scary. I don't know what to do about it.

Shit, i really hate exam time. I am so stressed that i'm kinda jittery and antsy and i can't stop moving. I don't know what i should do. I'm also kinda cranky b/c i'm running on about 3 hours sleep, so that doesn't really help the situation. I wish i could just take a break from everything, but unfortunately i can't at the moment. Last year, the exams were packed into 2 days, w/ 2 exams each day. This year, the geniuses on the board of education have decided to drag out exams over 4 school days. It really sucks. It's bullshit b/c it causes more stress and anxiety. I just wish that the exam schedule was like last year's. That wasn't so bad. Hell, of course i was exhausted by the end of every day, but it was over and done in 2 days. Not so bad, right?

I am so sick of school. Sometimes, it's a lot more trouble than it's worth. I am sick of the bullshit and the drama. It's enough to drive a man insane, and i'm getting pretty close. My head is completely numb, and it's hard for me to even function right now. I wish that i could see Megan right now. I had the opportunity to go home w/ her this afternoon, but i had to come home b/c i had some things to do. I had to do laundry, and i needed to get my pc straightened out. It has been acting really weird the last couple of days, and i want to see what's wrong w/ it.

So far, i haven't found anything wrong w/ the pc. It's just being retarded i guess. It does this every now and then. It's quite annoying. I think it just needs the temp files and caches emptied. That would probably help a lot. I am now downloading some music, or trying to. I need some new songs to listen to, but i'm not sure what would be good. I've been trying to think of some songs that i like that i don't already have. I did just upload music from some of my old cd's the other day, like linkin park and the matrix reloaded soundtrack. I also heard a cool song the other day on my friends myspace. It's called "Prayer of the Refugee" by Rise Against. It's a really cool song. I'm a bit addicted to it now, lol.

I'm really tired of people getting in my face and criticizing me. It's really starting to get old. It's getting on my nerves, and people should look at their own flaws before they start pointing out other people's. Anyway, i'm starting to get a bit pissed off. Wow, i'm finding a lot of good songs by the group Drowning Pool. They're a heavy metal group, and they kick ass. I think i'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I really need the sleep. I haven't been able to sleep very much the last few nights, mainly b/c of stress. I'm starting to get pretty run-down. It's a miserable feeling:ko: I wish i could get rid of this feeling.

I need a vacation! I'm not joking when i say this, i really do need one. The pressure and stress combined are running me ragged. I'm very run-down and tired. I seriously need some sleep. OOH, i just remembered - i have about 6 days off of school after exams! YAY! I'm gonna get some serious r & r during the short break. I really need it. I think i'm gonna get to see Megan over the break. I really hope that i do. I need some time w/ my babygirl! We probably won't be able to spend very much time together this week b/c of the exams. It really sucks. I wish i could go to the movies w/ her tonight, but w/ me being in the condition that i am in now, it's probably not a very good idea. Plus, it's a school night, and we have exams again tomorrow and thursday, then we get 6 days straight out of school.

Jeez, my head feels weird. It's completely numb, and my vision is a little off. It's really starting to freak me out. I think i'm about to lay down. I need to get some sleep in a little while. I'm totally exhausted. It's good that i'm typing another blog post though. It's helping to calm me down, which is good, but it's also forcing me to use a lot of brain power to recall all of the memories. I think my brain is about fried after today's exam. I'm just so tired. I need to lay down now. Peace:cheers: