I <3 Crotch Shots

thanks dalu!! wow, i can't believe someone actually looked at my blog . i was not expecting it. so i was a little distracted when i wrote that last one, so i'm afraid, it's not one of my best. i didn't really go in depth with it, just kinda gave a little shallow information. anyway, i decided now that it's 1:23 am and i'm ready to go to bed, this would be a good time to write a better post. no one is up at my house so i can think about what i'm writing.

so in our rationalized society these days, and the whole world might as well be considered a single society since western ideas are the only concerns ever considered to be significant aka apparently we are the only ones whose ideas matter, in fact, we probably altogether right. (can you tell that this is sarcastic at all..??). anyway, in this rationalized world of ours, where everything is orderly and has a purpose and can be done/made efficiently, in a timely manner and with little cost, the things we see are never soley ours anymore. for example, indie bands. they don't usually stay indie forever. for a lot of people, when the band is indie, the band is new and interesting, and something they had never seen before--enchanting. but once that "indie" band hits the top 40s they've "sold out" and none of their old fans love them anymore.. the formerly-known-as-indie band is now mainstream, normalized into a rational, manufactured, mass produced form of a band that is no longer mysterious and magical. the fans are disenchanted. this is weber, btw. you know, the whole iron cage and protestant work ethic stuff. anyway, my point is, maybe that's why you're here. i mean, this is a reason why pornography is so big. same thing with most things that get huge, like reality tv shows! they were new and exciting and crazy compared to everything else that was on tv. same with crazy game shows. or jerry springer. these thigns brought the mysterious, abnormal, and strange back into the lives of mundane, everyday people. gave them something to get excited about. so that's why you're here.
maybe you think it's funny. maybe you think it's interesting. maybe you're bored at work. exactly. bored. you are bored. you need stimulation. maybe this giant paragraph has bored you too... this is my cue to shake it up a bit. and in the spirit of making things more interesting, i give you this:
now, after that little lecture, i wouldn't want to go give you a normal crotch shot... yes, crotch shots can become normal too. you've seen too many! they all will start to look too similar! o woe, woe, alas, even the crotch shot can become boring. but oh my, what is this? i pulled it out of no where. well actually, it was such an odd moment i had to take this photo with my cell phone! (there's another example of making normal things more exciting. cell phones are so normal now, they had to shake things up by sticking other things into it like cameras and mp3 players and voice recorders and internet, ahh). what the hell is this cat doing in this crotch, you might ask. well, that's a very question, and dear ol' pal, this cat isn't just any old cat. it's a cat that lives in a house full of boys! boys who practically all have ADD! well, actually two of them have it for sure but there are a couple who prolly have it and just don't know it. anyway, the kitty seems to have taken on the characteristics of its owners/housemates. it's usually doesn't sit still, but it was super sleepy from the peanutbutter jelly dance the crotch owner probably made it do all day, so it's pretty much knocked out. aw, poor kitty. anyway, yes that's a roll of masking tape around the cat's head. and certainly, that's a box of crackers between its legs. we've got a real warm crotch on our hands here folks.
hehehe i just realized o man, there's a kitty on this man's crotch. hehehe. uhhh, sorry. it's just, i could have totally written such a good blog on that kind of stuff... i don't want to be vulgar though. this isn't supposed to be explicit remember!??! but man... who is to say what is explicit! just because SOME people are offended. well, how do you think they got the idea to be offended into their heads in the first place! that's right. SOCiety. aka "the Man" but let's not assign a gender to this thing okay? cuz these ideas exist within both men and women and also children as they LEARN to be this way. that's right, i'm saying that this is a learned distaste towards sex.

But maybe it's okay that i haven't felt the need to crotch blog. if i'm using it as a form of therapy, and my urge to release stress through it is not as strong, that just means life is less stressful right? i did start this blog during finals week, afterall.

well, today's crotch blog is needed then not because of the deep kind of stress that fucks you up later in life, but the kind of stress from too much commotion and dealing with children (6, 10, 11 years old).

this crotch has nothing to do with children... i don't think i'm bold enough to go there yet.. just as i have yet to venture far with female crotches and for similar reasons. somehow female crotches and child crotches seem pornographic .

no, this is not a female or child at all. when this photo was taken, this crotch was in a Starbucks. hm a starbucks, how unoriginal, there are so many of them in the world (as of February 2006: 6,216 says wikipedia.org). but oh well. it doesn't matter that i was in an unoriginal place. what matters is that um, it existed for our viewing pleasure?? yess, that's what matters. our pleasure . i love this crotch

i've grown apathetic for this person. this next crotch shot. but this is reminiscent of times when we got along better--when we didn't know each other as well. this next crotch and i. i won't get into details, but let's just say... nothing.
i only thought of him because i just saw him in the cafe. of course, we didn't say anything to each other. awkward. but i think it's better this way. we were only friends because of my uh friend, his girlfriend anyway. o well. it wasn't for this whole fiasco, i would have never had the chance to take such a great crotch shot anyway. at least i have that.

oh. yes. i will admit that this is a very decent crotch shot. despite the fading but still lingering feelings of hostility towards this crotch's owner, i will admit that this is a good shot. the things i like about this crotch shot include the ways in which the crotch has been emasculated. the pink apron. the violation of my hands lifting the apron. the posture--the closing legs.

it's one of those days where you want to just not do anything. there are a lot of those days, i know, but really. it should be one of those days. but you know, these days are one of the best for crotch blogging. i didn't do one yesterday. I'm sorry. i really wanted to, but i just didn't have time.
But i do now! well... sort of. anyway, this isn't about me! it's about crotches. or rather crotch shots. mmm crotch shots.


wouldn't it be wonderful if i got famosa for crotch shots? mmm that would be such a wonderful thing to be known for. that's my foot in this shot. does it make you nervous that my foot is that close to his crotch? yeah i hear balls retracting as we speak. so this is from a different angle and as we can see his hands are in the area. maybe hands near crotches has something to do with the position they are in? he's lying down here... maybe it's just natural for him to have his hand near his crotch or maybe he's just as nervous about my foot as you are.

my first fully female feature and... i have not overcome this whole forbidden female crotch complex. i feel that cropping or zooming in is cheating. it takes away the challenges of a crotch shot. but i can't just give up right? so what must i do to get over this whole thing? i must take a picture of the female crotch that i know best and then work on being more attentitive to female crotches with my camera in the future.
way to turn the tables on yourself eh? i didn't do a great job with this one because well..i was in the SUB (cafeteria) at the time and there were people around and i was supposed to at least look like i was doing homework which taking pictures of your crotch does not look like. i feel so vulnerable! i wonder if my past subjects feel that way... if they don't, i wonder if it is because they are boys and are used to receiving so much glorious attention for their crotches. i hope i'm not making this worse by devoting a blog to crotches and having more male crotches than female crotches. i think penis envy is bull shit, btw. i don't envy penes, i envy (it's frusturating how unfair it is) the privelege given to those with penes because of their penes. but... this blog is about the crotch. and the crotch means that whole area. w-m.com says 1 : a pole with a forked end used especially as a prop or 2 : an angle formed by the parting of two legs, branches, or members. see. it's not the genetalia at all. it's no even the body. it's the angle, the lines, the shape the body MAKES. does this mean that if someone only has one leg, that person does not have a crotch? by definition, i would say yes. i'm thankful then, that i have enough legs to make a crotch. i feel we should all be more thankful if we qualify for crotchmakings.

hehe, isn't it funny that out of all the crotch shots and descriptions of so far, i wrote the longest one on the female crotch? or maybe, most likely, probably true, that it was cuz well this is the crotch of yours truly.