I'm pushing myself. Hard. Pushing myself to develop as an artist. Pushing myself to sell more work. You might call me driven. Which is both good and bad. Good because I am undoubtedly motivated. Bad because I easily get stressed, depressed, and frustrated when things don't move as quickly or easily as I'd like them to. The ups and downs and selling and not selling are particularly difficult for me to deal with. I need to learn to how remain on a more level place and not get caught up with either the excitement of selling or the frustration of waiting for my next sale. Either said than done.
The label of "artist" remains both very natural and very alien to me. I've been at this for just over 2 years now, yet it still sounds strange when I tell people I'm an artist. But as a friend recently pointed out to me, "your art is how you breathe."
So what am I doing to deal with all of this "artistic angst"? I'm exposing myself to new influences and new situations. On Halloween, I created two paintings at the Tavern of Fine Arts
along with some very funky, improvised music. Last week, I attended a free lecture at the Saint Louis Art Museum given by a Washington University art history professor on Impressionist Portraits. This week, I plan to hit story time for grown ups and our local library. Anything that's new and different for me that peaks my interest in is fair game at this point.
So here are some of my more recent creations. You may notice that some of these paintings are more typical of the style you've been seeing all along. They are very soothing and soft, and they are the ones I am personally most comfortable with because I can just zone out looking at them.
These paintings come from wherever my inspiration comes from. It feels external for me, like an invisible art teacher telling me step by step what to do. I don't really understand where this inspiration comes from or what it is. People have tried to analyze it and put a label it like "the universe, God, or your higher self." I tell them not to bother. I don't try to understand it. I just accept it.
And then the are the more intense paintings, the ones that are more passionate and dramatic, with a more complex mix of colors and pattern, slightly less horizontally oriented, more intensity in contrast of light and dark. Lots of people are responding to these paintings. They are based on sunset pictures people post on Facebook. I begin each painting attempting to create a reasonably close approximation of the photo. But the paintings always end up taking on a life of their own. That's where that inspiration kicks back in and takes over the process.
Peruse. Come to your own conclusions. And, most of all, enjoy.SEPTEMBER
Early Autumn Sunset
Sydney (gift to friends whose daughter's name is Sydney)
Marimba Dance (created along with live, improvisational music at the Tavern of Fine Arts)
Liquid (also created along with live, improvisational music at the Tavern of Fine Arts)NOVEMBER
Nightfall on Earth
Brahms in Reverse
(Created while listening to a recording of Brahms at the Tavern of Fine Arts)
Vivaldi's Third Season
(Created while listening to a recording of Vivaldi's Four Seasons at the Tavern of Fine Arts.)