Early Morning Blogging

Ah, Friday. The weekend is here, and so am I. Back to Opera Community. It's been a very long year, full of changes, challenges, and upheaval from my usual state of being. Life took over, and I literally did disappear for a little while from my surroundings. Not the best vacation I've ever had, and living in total seclusion because I was having a tough time was probably the best thing I could do for some personal reflection. I think a mental break down would have probably been better. (Ok, I'm kidding!)

Anyhow, since my last post (7,January 2009), this is what I'm dealing with: Christmas of 2009 was not spent with my family. Instead, I spent it with my fiance's family, but I am already getting ahead of myself.

In January, classes picked up, got tougher, and I had no time for blogging. I should have jumped in at least once to let everyone know that I wasn't going to be available for awhile, and I'm sorry I didn't. Community support would have probably made my life just a bit easier to deal with the things that happened.

I earned my Associate's Degree in June, 2009, in the middle of taking my mother on vacation to Illinois to see a friend of ours who had not been doing too well. While we were there, my hip slipped out of place, and I had to start using a wheelchair. I didn't get to see a local surgeon until the middle of July, and was told that I needed a double hip operation. It absolutly sux to be without insurance, but that hip operation is still in the wings, until I can raise $50,000, or get approved for Medicaid. I am really hoping Obama's health care plan comes through, because insurance companies discriminate against pre-existing conditions.

One of my brothers told my mother he wanted to put me in a nursing home because I couldn't work, and he didn't want her supporting me. That was in August. I had asked my other 2 brothers & my kids for help with getting my house set up so I could live there, not one of them showed up. My family literally abandoned me! Mom and one friend came over to do what they could, but I had to make sure I could do this at-home living on my own, because there is NO WAY I am going to go live in an assisted living home!! Every time Mom came over to help, she would complain about it, but she was the one volunteering to help, so I finally told her to just stay away.

By the end of September, I'd decided that it was time I moved - wheelchair bound or not - so I moved upstate, and no one in my family knew I had left except for my mother. I had had enough. I called a friend, and we went to N. GA. for 3 months. I lived in a neighborhood where only the landlord spoke English, no one bothered me, and I was literally cut off from the world. No internet, no television, not even a radio. Lots of time to think! All I had to entertain myself was a few bags of beads I'd brought with me, and few books. I had no intention of coming back for the rest of my stuff, and had left my house in shambles from a frenzied packing. I literally just quit caring about everything, because everyone (with the exception of the Opera community) had stopped caring about me. Life is hard sometimes, but darn it, when your family abandons you, who can you trust? I had lost it all.

I decided to come back at the end of October. I was tired of being out of my element, and if my brother who wants to put me in a nursing home wants a fight, I'm going to give him one he won't soon forget!

The night I walked back into my house, I took one look at the mess I'd left behind, and started throwing things in the trash. It took me a month of working 8 hour days, but I got rid of 65 trash bags full of junk that I did not want, need, or love. Have to love my Mom, shopaholic that she is, but most of what went out was stuff she'd brought in to decorate my house. Who needs 150 ceramic roosters, 25 handbags, or 20 hot plate tiles? And that was just the first of a lot of what I considered JUNK. I took 2 bags of clothes to the church, gave a set of dishes & mixing bowls to my youngest brother, (remember, his house had burnt the summer before), and got my house in order.

Mom was the only one who knew I came home in the middle of the night, but she called my oldest brother, and he came over and apologized - every day for a solid week. My youngest brother apologized too, and then rented a rollback for all the clutter I was getting out of my house. As for the middle brother and my kids, there's been nothing. I'm hurt, but I know who loves me.

One month later (November, 2009), and I'm engaged, and living with my fiance. We knew each other 30 years ago when we were teenagers, and I am happy. We had Christmas with his family, not mine. We're holding the Easter family dinner for his family at his(our) home for 100 folks, and I am the queen of the castle!

I've finally settled into a routine, have my schedule up for times to work on my crafts and times to blog, and will be back blogging on a regular basis. Have missed you all, and will be around to say hello when the house is more settled. Until then, have a great day!