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Never to Forget the Fear

Wednesday, 26. November 2008, 02:54:48

A poem I wrote about my experience with an abuse person.
My friend Marcus sent me an email message that inspired me to write about it here

Never to Forget the Fear
Never to forget the fear of losing myself
Never to forget the fear of saying something wrong
Never to forget the fear of losing my family
Never to forget the fear of losing my friends
Never to forget the fear of being hit
Never to forget the fear you gave our child
Never to forget the fear of staying with you
Never to forget the fear of leaving you,
for you put the fear of me being killed
by you in me
Never to forget the fear of you
By: ©CR
02/17/2008

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Comments

Fanny 26. November 2008, 05:33

That's a nice poem, sad and very deep... *hugs*

Kittylicious 26. November 2008, 06:17

Sad and true. There are fears you just never forget. :frown:

Karen 26. November 2008, 07:17

Lovely, Carol! :smile:

Léazz 26. November 2008, 08:32

Sighh.. I always have that fear......... :frown:

Is That A Rocket In Your Pocket? 26. November 2008, 09:13

:heart:

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 11:23

Thank you idaughter. *hugs*

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 11:26

Zaphira *hugs*

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 11:27

Thank you Karen.

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 11:30

Léazz sweety, please don't fear. *hugs*

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 11:31

Rose-Marie :heart:

lokutus_prime 26. November 2008, 17:31

:frown: Carol, I read from line five down (not including the title) that a tale of physical abuse emerges. :frown:

I send you my prayers. God protect you, amen

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 17:42

Thank you my Dear friend Loku.
Yes, I was abused physically and emotionally by my first husband for 7 years. I have been out of that relationship since 1988, thank God.
Took me years to find myself again and to this day, years after, the fear can show up again when someone yells at me. It's gotten better as I have tried to stop the fear. The link I gave in the post (here) explains more.
God protect all that are still in a bad relationship. Amen.

Cois 26. November 2008, 20:28

Nicely written.. Glad you got out of that situation..

lokutus_prime 26. November 2008, 20:47

dear friend Carol, it is shocking to hear about the abuse. All to often, these days, one reads about similar things in the news papers, or sees or hears about it on tv or radio. It's horrendous to even imagine the physical abuse. One would have to be a psychologist to know why these things happen, but in simple terms there is no valid reason for a man to ever strike a woman. The long-term emotional & physical abuse, which may arise from some sort of hate-relationship, or even some sort of mental illness, should be noticed by neighbors or fellow-workers or even by local trades-people. But often it is not noticed by others, including the family physician, and eventually something must give and the tragedy be resolved. You have resolved the intial point of "getting out" some nearly 20 years ago, but clearly it has left its mark. I add my prayers to all that has been said to you here by your virtual friends. I hope your outside friends and social services are able to give you support and day-today friendship and comfort. God bless you and keep a watch over you (amen).

Your friend, Loku

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 20:56

Thank you Cois. I am glad I'm out too, mostly for my daughter's sake.

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 21:55

My Dear Friend Loku,
I have learned the reason why a man hits a woman, for controll of her and put the fear in her so she will beileve his threat of killing her if she leaves him. Others do notice but do not help for whatever reason be it because they don't know what to do or how to help or if they think it won't help because many times when a woman gets help to get away often goes back because of the fear of him killing her and/or the hope that he will stop like he promises he will because she does love him. I have no outside support my friend. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words and prayers. Thank you.
God Bless you and watch over you my friend. Amen.
Your friend,
Carol

lokutus_prime 26. November 2008, 21:58

I want to thank you for your further explanation. Such things, such nightmare situations,where all 'witnesses' are blind and all innocents have their life threatened, are usually the stuff of plays or movie dramas or in books written by authors of fiction. But here you prove that these are real nightmares that take place in actuality and it is a deeply saddening and horrifying thing to read. Thank you for telling about it. It is a trauma for you to remember these things. I pray God you will obtain closure soon, dear friend Carol. God bless you and give you peace (amen).

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 22:11

Thank you my dear friend Loku.
God Bless you Loku. Amen.

lokutus_prime 26. November 2008, 22:28

Amen

Dacotah 26. November 2008, 22:31

:smile:

Dennis 26. November 2008, 23:16

  Carol, *hugs and :heart: * I'm glad you got out of that situation, for yours and your Daughters sake! :smile:

Dacotah 27. November 2008, 00:54

Thank you Dennis
:heart: Hugs :smile:

Stomyr 27. November 2008, 10:28

HUGZ

dɹɐzılpǝkɔıw ɐʞɐ ɹǝɥgɐllɐg lǝbɐsı 27. November 2008, 10:42

awww It is awful what some people go through... it is SO wrong... :frown:


Hugs.

Léazz 27. November 2008, 12:12

Sigh..

Dacotah 27. November 2008, 16:41

HUGZ Stomyr

Dacotah 27. November 2008, 16:43

Yes it is awful Issy what some people go through. I was one of the lucky ones that my abuse from him wasn't as bad as some go through and that my daughter and I got out.

Hugs

Dacotah 27. November 2008, 16:45

Hi Léazz :love: you.

Nicolas Borgsmidt 29. November 2008, 16:41

You´re brave and strong woman Carol. Writing about it brings things up again :up: Well done!! :heart:

Dacotah 29. November 2008, 18:29

Thank you Nic. :heart:

Nicolas Borgsmidt 29. November 2008, 20:04

You´re welcome Carol :smile:

Dacotah 29. November 2008, 20:36

:smile:

Esther-Sugar Winx 4. December 2008, 09:05

I'm NOT that scary!!!!! :frown:

lokutus_prime 4. December 2008, 13:48

Carol - :up:

Dacotah 4. December 2008, 14:04

No you are not iMom. *Hugs*

Loku :smile:

Mette 10. April 2009, 10:45

As your Dash-movie we might think more about how we uses our lifes.
What is important and not be experimented with.
Really good written with a thoughtful meaning behind the words!

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 10:49

Thank you Mette.

Mette 10. April 2009, 10:51

:up:

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 10:54

Mette, if you click the "here" link you will see why I wrote this.
I was abused my my ex-husband and the email I got made me think of posting about abuse.

Mette 10. April 2009, 10:58

:no: :no: Carol! :heart: :heart:

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 11:00

It's ok Mette, it is good for me to write about it, it helps me.
I'm getting over it slowly but surely.
I learned alot from it.
:heart: :heart:

Mette 10. April 2009, 11:04


Hugs

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 11:08

Awww, thank you Mette, that's so sweet.


Hugs

Mette 10. April 2009, 11:12

Thanks yourself Carol!
Your life can not have been all good. I feel like crying now... :frown:

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 11:19

Awww, Mette, please do NOT cry.

Hugs



Hugs

Mette 10. April 2009, 11:22

Thanks! :heart:

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 11:23

You are welcome Mette.
Thank you for the hugs. :heart:

Mette 10. April 2009, 11:25

:wink: same to you :wink:

Dacotah 10. April 2009, 11:29

:happy:

Lovinmalamutes 25. May 2009, 13:28

Wow this hits home for me. The abuse was from parents for me but abuse is abuse no matter the abuser!!!:cry:
I am glad you have healed somewhat. I don't know if you ever heal completely as I never have.:frown:

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