Pondering of the Smartest Mouse

————Reading Bertrand Russell’s “How to Grow Old”

The youth is always saturated with sunshine. It’s fantastic to be young, for the youth means vitality, passion, and numerous possibilities. But all of these are shadowed when facing time.

I guess no one is willing to grow old, but the God makes us to. Except those who are “cut off in the flower of their youth”, actually everyone is getting old day by day. But most young people are busy hanging around and having fun, never care about getting old and even going to die one day. Then day by day, bit by bit, their lives are being stolen by time. Eventually, there comes the moment when he slowly closes his eyes and bang stops his heartbeat. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.” A life just vanishes from the crowd and disappears without a trace.

Maybe that is why when facing aging and death, most people may lose their interest and even get anxious. But as a matter of fact, we have other alternatives, do we? Then, what can we do to grow old and overcome the fear of death?

Here, Bertrand Russell, a great philosopher and logician, taught us a pretty good lesson.

By correcting the title from “how to grow old” to “how not to grow old”, he started his speech. He demonstrated what his maternal grandmother did when she was growing old, in a humorous tone, indicated that you can forget your age, simply by drawing attention away from worrying about the left years to wild and keen hobbies and activities. He also pointed out that the old should safeguard two main psychological dangers: being too absorbed in the past and clinging to youth. The past was passed by forever, let’s just think about the future; if you didn’t want to be a burden to your children, you’d better let them have their own lives. To overcome these dangers and the fear of death, Russell thought the best way was to spend more time and strength on wilder and more impersonal interests and gradually merge your single life into the universal life.

Bertrand Russell was a superstar in math and logic, and also a well-known expert in many other subjects such as education, history, political theory, and religious studies. Many of his writings have influenced generations of readers. This essay “How to Grow Old” ranks among them, humorous but profound, simple but practical. It really brings me deep ponderings.

Several years ago, I attended a lecture. A white-haired professor zigzagged onto the platform, shared us with a slice over the projector. In a peaceful and composed voice, he told us:
“When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to go to a college;
When I was already a college student, I couldn’t wait to graduate;
After graduation, I couldn’t wait to find a job, get married and have a kid;
Then, I hoped that my kid could grow up immediately so that I could have enough time to work;
When my child finally grew up, I couldn’t wait to retire from the boring job to enjoy some leisure;
Then finally, I am really going to die!
Suddenly, I realize that I was so busy all the time that I forgot to live a real life……
You guys, DON’T repeat my faults.”

Frankly, I was haunted by his words and the slice for a long time.



“Everyone dies, not everyone really lives.” A famous quote from William Wallace, a hero of Scotland, who told this to his follow-ups before he was executed by King of England in 1305. Maybe only those outstanding people and those who have had near-to-death experience can fully understand and keep in mind firmly. Most people just forget to value what they possess, for example, life, unless they realize they are going to lose them. Young people always get their hands full with all kinds of trifles, totally unaware that when they are talking of killing time, while time quietly kills them.

Life is given to us to live but only once. Then, how to live a real life?

Here, Russell advocated to develop strong impersonal interests and activities, and merge our personal life into the universal one. In another Russell’s essay, he described three passions that he lived for: “the longing for love”, “the search for knowledge”, and “unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind”. Another example is a quote from the book “How the Steel Was Tempered” by Nikolai Ostrovsky: “Man's dearest possession is life, and it is given to him to live but once. He must live so as to feel no torturing regrets for years without purpose, never know the burning shame of a mean and petty past--so live that, dying, he can say: all my life, all my strength were given to the finest cause in all over the world--the fight for the liberation of mankind.”

Those thoughts came from great minds and emerged from their special times. Herein, we should step forward a little bit. A real life, at least it seems to me, doesn’t mean “the longer, the better”, it should be wonderful, worthwhile and make sense. At my age, it appears to me that a real life means to be where you like to be, to do what you like to do, and to be with who you love. Just like that, simple but fulfilled.

When I refer to my maternal grandmother, my feeling is different. During the last vocation, I rushed back to my hometown, because mother kept telling me that my maternal grandmother was in serious situation and deteriorated day by day. Diseases, pain and upset was torturing her all over the year. Her said sorry and told us that she had little time left. I worried about her every single day, even right now at this moment. Maybe sooner there will come a sudden call that brings me the worst news ever. But deeply in my mind, that day is bound to come. Death is inevitable, it’s a part of life, isn’t it? For birth and death, existence and extinction, the universal principle. The only thing we can do, however, is to try our best to make her happier in her left days, keep her in mind forever, and move on with our lives, just as she wishes.

Perhaps, nothing is more vivid than river that can be used to illustrate the trace of life, just like Russell did in this essay. Indeed, life is just like a river.

It’s murmuring at the starting point, for a baby or kid is so weak and needs time to get strong. As he growing up, his river of life rushes passionately, its waves hit the rocks, fall off the cliffs. The view from the both banks is so beautiful and impressive. Physically development generates endless spirits and energy, active brain bears creative ideas and dreams. Then, gradually, he is on the way to decay. Vitalities begin to step away, as well as his relatives and friends, one after another. He has experienced quite a lot: glory and dream, laughers and tears, success and frustration, being near to and far apart from his beloved……The river grows wilder and flows more quietly and slowly, then finally, it merges into the sea. His body is gone, but meanwhile, his face and voice will be remembered; his personality and thoughts will still influence many people; the work he hasn’t accomplished will be carried on; the people he cares so much will still be alive and move on with a happy life—in this way, he regains a life in other people’s memories.

Have you watched the movie “A River Runs Through It”. The last scene is my favorite. In the river of western Montana, the old Norman Maclean steps into the water of the Blackfoot River, feet naked, waves his rod and starts his fly-fishing in the cool evening. Then, his voice fades in: “Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's greatest flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs.”

What does a life look like? That is it.

When we come to this world naked, we are weeping, while the people surrounding are laughing; maybe when we are leaving, the people surrounding are weeping, while we are laughing. Therefore, just live a regretless life and have a good ending.

In the river of life, no one can escape. Just sail across the river of life, without fear, and with a manly heart.