An angel on my sholder

True fishy tales 2.

Being naked and swimming naked is the done thing whist sailing in the Caribbean. One morning I had decided to swim to a nearby friends boat. Being seasoned Ozzies they were not phased by a naked Englishman circling their sail boat shouting “good morning”....treading the bath-warm water idly chatting away – I could feel a tickle around my bum and around my belly and then suddenly realized I was being nipped by a few big fish.....”holy crap” I shouted - “I'm off, I'm being eaten here”, the Ozzie lad suggested there had been a barracuda under his boat all night and I panicked thinking it was that!!!!....I made for my boat about 20 yards away, the fish now were nipping my belly and I was concerned for my man-hood – now I had to swim with one hand holding my willy the other frantically paddling to help my flippers get some speed up...it was no good, they were really having their way...looking under water – I could see that they were big Remora's [fish with suckers on the top of their heads which they use to stick themselves to sharks and whales]...they thought I was a whale???, I didn't really want these free loaders sticking themselves to bellos so with the other hand I'm now trying to fend off fish. Holding my willy and waving my free arm whilst swimming backward naked is surely a bizarre sight, I leapt out of the water onto my yachts ladder like a performing dolphin.......