Boss Radio

So someone set fire to the 'Cutty Sark', the only remaining wood and iron sail powered clipper in the whole wide world, and still in near mint condition.

I think the operative word in that last sentence was 'Wood'.

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pretty sure that most people on the planet have heard of arsonists. They burn stuff for the fun of it. Lord alone knows why, you see one fire you've seen them all from where I'm standing, but maybe they're all secretly fascinated by fractals and/or Brownian motion and could stare at the patterns in the fire for all time given the opportunity. If this should be the case then I would suggest a suitable punishment for arsonists would be enforced viewing of the sun through binoculars, or being dropped into a forest fire with only a bucket of water for company.

Whatever the reason, we have to accept their existance amongst us, they're not like aliens. You wanna discuss the existance of aliens we can chat about it forever, and I'm betting that the aliens themselves will be amongst those arguing that they don't exist, just to throw us of the scent. Watch yourself guys, I'm onto you.

Arsonists on the other hand know that we know that they exist. They keep burning stuff, and people tend to notice things when they go up in flames. I know I do.

So why weren't the people responsible for the upkeep of the Cutty Sark ready for them? It seems to me that if you're looking after something big and valuable and wooden, you have to know that there's a chance that someone's going to try to set fire to it at some point. This is why fire-retardent chemicals were invented. If they'd been around at the time of the Cutty's maiden voyage I'm sure they'd have doused the ship in them themselves.

I remember when we first moved here, we painted fire-resitant chemicals all over every bit of wood in the place before we repainted it.

No, hold on. That was turpentine substitute...

Oh corks.

Tomorrow I'm off to invest in a vat of fire-resitant chemicals. I'm actually rubbish at DIY, my idea of do-it-yourself is to wait until I'm asked to do a job, then replying "Do it yoursef", but in this case...

I reckon mum'll make a pretty good job of it.