Boss Radio

"Go'n geddit, with your good credit" - The Tower of Power.

I've just been watching a TV programme about credit. If ever proof were needed that there's very little worth watching on TV these days that must be it. You may wonder why I didn't just come upstairs and get online. In truth it's nice and warm down there and mum wanted the company (Although with a huge white cat one her lap I have no idea why she'd need any more company...).

The programme was a look into just how bad the credit problem has become, both worldwide and here in Britain. As part of this they issued their own Cr. card with a really tempting startup offer, but terrible terms in the small print. Within an hour they'd signed up 12 new customers, none of whom it would seem, had read the small print. At this point a credit expert (Oh good grief... ) came on and said "You see, nobody ever reads the small print."

Er... Hello? Yes they do. Here I am. Surely I'm not the only person on the planet who reads the small print just to be sure I'm not letting the barbarians through the gates? What I wouldn't do is read the small print standing in a crowded shopping centre when I had shopping to do. I'd read it when I got home. You can do that you know. You do have time to change your mind, just as the company who are wanting to issue the card have time to change theirs.

So, no points to the programme makers there then, at the very least they should have asked their victims if they would have read the small print later.

Onwards. They picked three people to test how easy it was to get credit. A pretty young blonde girl with a perfect Cr. rating who paid off at least the minimum on her card regularly and used it to withdraw cash on occasion, a lower middle-aged Asian gentleman who confessed that in his wild impetuous youth he had once defaulted on a credit agreement, but whose finances had been exemplory for years, and an older middle-aged lady with premature grey hair who also admitted to being a little lax at paying off her cards.

The blonde, it transpired, was only in part time employment, earning just £400 a month, and yet when applying in banks, in person, her blondeness apparently guaranteed her a card instantly. Most issuers didn't give her too much credit on the cards, although one did give her £3,000, but by the end of the day after she'd applied for a little more credit over the internet she had more credit available to her than she could ever hope to pay off short of getting a full time job on TV.

The guy on the other hand couldn't get credit to save his life. Whether it was his one default or his Asianness that disallowed him will probably never be known, but after he applied to a couple of those circulars touting Cr. cards that drop through your letterbox on a fairly regular basis he was offered some credit, though nowhere near as much as the blonde.

The credit business's only success was with the other lady who, much to her distress, was completely unable to get credit anywhere.

To be honest, the only thing that surprises me about this is that it wasn't expected. The industry is aimed at suckers. I was offered a card whilst out shopping. Naturally I signed up, I find it's the best way to get it all over and done with without my feeling guilty for being rude to a fellow citizen who's only doing his/her job. Besides they probably get a commision for the 'sale' even if I subsequently withdraw from the offer, which I almost always do after reading the small print.

I was declined.

There's nothing wrong with my credit report, no reason why I shouldn't have been issued with the card, except one. I always, without fail, pay off my card in full every month, and I always withdraw from any agreement with clauses that don't appeal to me. (That's two things - The Man with the Hat)

I'm pleased to report that the blonde was no sucker. She cancelled every one of the credit agreements after reading the small print.

That makes two of us then...

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Whilst writing this I've discovered that when typing the word 'small' I almost invariably type 'samll'. I am now mentally filing this alongside 'Britian' and 'ypou' as things I must look out for at all times. Please let me know if find any other pissmellings in my ramblings.