Boss Radio

When 'Clockwise', starring John Cleese, first came out 22 years ago I was of an age wherein it would not have seemed out of place for me to want to see schoolgirl Laura, as played by Sharon Maiden, in her underwear. Indeed, had I ever bothered to read them, it was probably in the rules that I should do so, not to have this manly desire might even have been deemed a little gay.

I've just watched the film again, and it's funnier than I remembered, but when we reached the scene where Laura cons the sportscar driver out of his clothes it once again seemed to me unlikely, given how suspicious he already was, that she could have got him out of them without actually taking anything off herself, and I was carried back to a time when I was personally annoyed by this blip in the continuity because it meant that I didn't get to see Miss Maiden in her underwear.

Although I'm now of an age where it is thought unseemly for a man of my character and upbringing to want to see an actress of that age in her smalls, that blip still annoys me; but of course there's always a twist, you see, even back in the day it wasn't missing the quick raunch that upset me, it was that Cleese, the master of comedy, had missed not just one, but two sight gags. I can't believe he didn't think of them himself so I'm assuming that he missed them intentionally, either for reasons of decorum, or maybe to avoid risking the film's 'Family movie' tag.

So for those of you who've seen the movie, tell me if you don't agree. If Laura had taken her blouse off in the clothes snatching scene, then in the following scene where the two are speeding away they could have had pedestrian reaction shots as a girl wearing a bra shot past driving a red sports car while a semi naked older gentleman in the passenger seat struggles to get dressed, and if she'd also divested herself of that ghastly school skirt (I've never seen a uniform that bad in real life or on screen before or since) then upon arrival at the school they could have shown the arrival reaction when Cleese, now smartly dressed in a really bad suit, gets out of the car apparently chauffeured by a schoolgirl in her underwear, followed by the reactions of his peers at the rear of the hall as he strides purposefully down the isle to the platform followed by the girl pulling her clothes back on (For the following scene to work she'd have had to get them on before she reached the front rows).

So there you have it, a few extra laughs right at the point where the original lags between the clothes snatch and the final breakdown on the platform. Why didn't Cleese just ask me? Not that I'm bitter or anything, just because I think I could have done it better, but when they do the remake I'll be only too glad to help.

I'd even be prepared to play the schoolmaster as long as I get some say into who the schoolgirl is going to be played by.

Do you think they'd let me have Kim Cattrall?