Boss Radio

Oops. Sorry Doors fans, this blog actually has nothing whatsoever to do with Texas, radio, or the big beat. I got you here under false pretences in order to boost by hit count, so if you're not interested in my wasp tale you might as well move on now.

Meanwhile, back at the blog, a few days ago I was woken up by a sharp pain in my left cheek (The one on my face if you have that kind of mind - Which apparently I do...). I won't tell you what it was, I'll let you guess.

What it was doing on my face in the first place, and what it was my sleeping form did to annoy it, I'll never know, but the little swine stung me and buzzed off to I don't know where. Oh well, you win a few, you lose a few.

Two days later I was awoken by the sound of heavy machinery and dragged myself out of bed and to the window to see what was going on. Workmen filling over a couple of sewer access points for some reason. Nothing worth getting out of bed for, let's get another few winks in.

Just then something slid down the window and onto the floor.

Ooh, what was that? I glanced down but saw nothing, so I moved my foot, and YEEEEOUCH! The flipping little tyrant got three whole shots in before I got my foot out of the way. And once again I couldn't see it anywhere. The invisible stinger strikes again.

I got dressed and was just about to go down the stairs when I saw it, walking across my bed with the true nonchalance of one who knows he's boss. I say 'he', but it actually looked rather like a pregnant queen to me. Quick! Where's the anti-bug spray? I knew it would come in useful one day. I gave it the full 3 second blast and it fluttered defiantly for a moment before drifting into a spider's web. I knew that would come in useful one day as well.

But wait. It's still struggling. And still it's struggling. And it's struggling on. I was beginning to feel very guilty. Maybe I should rescue it and drop it out of the window.... Too late. It broke through the web and fell onto my bed.

Noooooooooooooooo... Not my bed. Yup. Worse still, it's crawled into the inner bag.

I grabbed the bag and shook it. Nothing fell out. I pulled out the inner bag and turned it inside out and shook it. Nothing. So I took them both downstairs and I hung the inner bag on the line outside, then I unzipped the sleeping bag and spread it out across the garden table. It was sunny but windy and I had to hold it down with a couple of chunks of wood to prevent it from flying away.

At the end of the day I brought them in and decided I would leave the inner bag inside out, and use one of the spare sleeping bags, and of course you can finish the story yourself.

But I'm not going to let you.

In the middle of the night I was awoken by a searing pain in my side. The unspeakable little grotbag had, one way or another, wound up inside my inside out inner bag, where it had allowed to me to clamber in, toss about a bit, then go to sleep, before suddenly attacking me for some crime I must have committed in my dreams.

On the plus side, I think I got it this time. I absolutely must have squished it.

On the other hand, I still haven't found the body...