My OperaWho designed this place anyway?...
Saturday, August 16, 2008 7:26:55 PM
I was driving home on the A303 eastbound. For you foreigners and Brits with no intimate knowledge of the UK road network out there the A303 is a road that cuts almost straight down the middle of the leg at the bottom west of England then boogies on down to London, and since it's been motorwayised for a large part of its route it's now a very useful way of hurrying home (Although I rarely use it when I'm going somewhere else. Not picturesque enough. Well, except when it goes past Stonehenge anyway. That's picturesque enough for as long as the road vibrations haven't demolished it).
As I approached the Newbury/Winchester/Southampton intersection I espied a new service area. Fuel, food, and farting (C'mon, does anyone ever do anything else in those places? It sure doesn't sound like it to me), who could ask for anything more?
Well, some sign that intelligent thought was involved was involved in the layout would have been nice.
We turned in for a little light refreshment, by which I'm not referring to fuel or farting, and whoops! Almost immediately missed the turning into the 'Cars' area. I paused as I turned in, it seemed to me I was driving into the petrol station forecourt, but no, the other road was definitely labled 'HGVs' and there were... erm- five parking spaces, so I pulled into one.
Almost immediately a car to my left missed the turn into the cars area and came to a halt along the HGVs track. It reversed back and pulled into the last parking place, behind me. I surveyed the area and on the other side of the forecourt was a building labled 'Wild Bean Cafe - BP - M&S', I also noticed more parking spaces but the only way to get to them was to drive through the forecourt without buying any petrol. I could see that getting annoying if there was a queue for fuel. Meanwhile on my left another car missed the turn into the cars area. I could see that getting annoying as well.
So having ascertained that there was no marked walkway through the fuel dispensing area we walked across it to the building on the other side. I had expected three entrances but there was just the one, so in we went. It was an M&S food shop, very well stocked, but the 'Pay here' sign was right down the far end of the building, meaning you had to carry your purchases all the way back through the store and back through the petrol filling area to get to your car. I could certainly see that starting to get annoying. In addition, this was the same till you had to go to to pay for the aforementioned fuel. Yup, you had to walk right through the store even if you didn't want to buy anything. Deliberate I'm sure, but do I need to repeat 'Annoying'?
The 'cafe' turned out to be a small area in the furthest corner of the store. It had one table with seating for four people healthy enough to climb onto the seats, otherwise I guess half a dozen people could stand by it. Against the wall was a serve-yourself hot food area with tongs thoughtfully provided to get the food out with. On the wall was a sign saying we could use either till to order our drinks and pay for our food, so we went to the one in the corner of the cafe.
"I'm sorry," said the cashier. "But there are other people waiting to be served."
I looked around. There was a long queue of people waiting to pay for their petrol and maybe shop purchases. Slowly it dawned on me.
"You mean..." I said, my eyebrows dusting the ceiling. "That I have to choose my hot food, walk back out of the cafe, around the side of it to the back of the queue, and then wait my turn to pay for what would undoubtably by then be lukewarm food, after which I walk back into the cafe down this convenient little lane to sit down and eat?"
The cashier seemed surprised at the question. "Yes" she nodded, as if she was talking to a simpleton. I'm not claiming that I'm not a simpleton you understand, simply that I don't like being addressed like one. I searched through my mind for a big word, but none was forthcoming so I settled for 2nd best and adopted my trademark Clint Eastwood squint (Hey, it's Eastwood's fault for not trademarking it himself).
"Doesn't that seem a little... asinine?" I enquired.
"Yes" she replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I'm sorry but this was starting to get really annoying...
We went back to the cafe and I put the hot food back into the dispenser and we walked out. As we crossed over the fuel dispensing area again another car had just missed the turn into the cars area. We got into our vehicle and crossed the fuel pump zone one last time and followed the 'out' arrows. They took us down the side of the building, and there behind it we found more parking places.
Don't quote me on this, but I suspect Alice in Wonderland had something to do with the design of this place.
And the hiring of the staff.
As I approached the Newbury/Winchester/Southampton intersection I espied a new service area. Fuel, food, and farting (C'mon, does anyone ever do anything else in those places? It sure doesn't sound like it to me), who could ask for anything more?
Well, some sign that intelligent thought was involved was involved in the layout would have been nice.
We turned in for a little light refreshment, by which I'm not referring to fuel or farting, and whoops! Almost immediately missed the turning into the 'Cars' area. I paused as I turned in, it seemed to me I was driving into the petrol station forecourt, but no, the other road was definitely labled 'HGVs' and there were... erm- five parking spaces, so I pulled into one.
Almost immediately a car to my left missed the turn into the cars area and came to a halt along the HGVs track. It reversed back and pulled into the last parking place, behind me. I surveyed the area and on the other side of the forecourt was a building labled 'Wild Bean Cafe - BP - M&S', I also noticed more parking spaces but the only way to get to them was to drive through the forecourt without buying any petrol. I could see that getting annoying if there was a queue for fuel. Meanwhile on my left another car missed the turn into the cars area. I could see that getting annoying as well.
So having ascertained that there was no marked walkway through the fuel dispensing area we walked across it to the building on the other side. I had expected three entrances but there was just the one, so in we went. It was an M&S food shop, very well stocked, but the 'Pay here' sign was right down the far end of the building, meaning you had to carry your purchases all the way back through the store and back through the petrol filling area to get to your car. I could certainly see that starting to get annoying. In addition, this was the same till you had to go to to pay for the aforementioned fuel. Yup, you had to walk right through the store even if you didn't want to buy anything. Deliberate I'm sure, but do I need to repeat 'Annoying'?
The 'cafe' turned out to be a small area in the furthest corner of the store. It had one table with seating for four people healthy enough to climb onto the seats, otherwise I guess half a dozen people could stand by it. Against the wall was a serve-yourself hot food area with tongs thoughtfully provided to get the food out with. On the wall was a sign saying we could use either till to order our drinks and pay for our food, so we went to the one in the corner of the cafe.
"I'm sorry," said the cashier. "But there are other people waiting to be served."
I looked around. There was a long queue of people waiting to pay for their petrol and maybe shop purchases. Slowly it dawned on me.
"You mean..." I said, my eyebrows dusting the ceiling. "That I have to choose my hot food, walk back out of the cafe, around the side of it to the back of the queue, and then wait my turn to pay for what would undoubtably by then be lukewarm food, after which I walk back into the cafe down this convenient little lane to sit down and eat?"
The cashier seemed surprised at the question. "Yes" she nodded, as if she was talking to a simpleton. I'm not claiming that I'm not a simpleton you understand, simply that I don't like being addressed like one. I searched through my mind for a big word, but none was forthcoming so I settled for 2nd best and adopted my trademark Clint Eastwood squint (Hey, it's Eastwood's fault for not trademarking it himself).
"Doesn't that seem a little... asinine?" I enquired.
"Yes" she replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I'm sorry but this was starting to get really annoying...
We went back to the cafe and I put the hot food back into the dispenser and we walked out. As we crossed over the fuel dispensing area again another car had just missed the turn into the cars area. We got into our vehicle and crossed the fuel pump zone one last time and followed the 'out' arrows. They took us down the side of the building, and there behind it we found more parking places.
Don't quote me on this, but I suspect Alice in Wonderland had something to do with the design of this place.
And the hiring of the staff.
