Boss Radio

Once upon a time there was little South African girl, and she ran in bare feet. Oh boy how she ran. She ran really fast. But back in those days South Africa was a bad country and it's people weren't welcome at great big major sporting occasions so even though she was very young and probably very innocent, she wasn't allowed to run anywhere where the rest of the world could see how well she could run.

And everyone in the world was sorry for her.

We were particularly sorry for her in Britain where there was quite a dearth of successful athletes and it was making us look bad in the eyes of the people-who-govern-sport-over-here. It's not like we were short of actual athletes, just winning athletes. We were, in short, awash with athletes who thought that it was the taking part, not the winning, that actually counted, and so they enjoyed what they were doing instead of winning at it.

So a British newspaper thought it had the answer, and by some amazing kind of fiddle they brought the bare-footed runner (Her name was Zola Budd. I'm sorry but I don't think I can keep this kiddie speak up. How on Earth do children's story writers do it?) to England and had her signed to compete for England as a citizen of the UK within about a week.

As a typically contrary nation the English immediately thought this was unfair and smacked of queue jumping. The other countries that make up the UK just thought it was unfair that she was running for England. Either way they all chortled at her discomfiture when she tripped up the US champion Mary Decker during the 1984 olympics.

Now anyone who saw the incident, or who knew anything about Budd herself, would know that there was no way that could have been deliberate. She had no formal training and running in shoes had had a negative effect upon her running, she was slower in shoes, and whether it was the weight, constrictiveness, or just unfamiliarity of the footwear we'll never know, but her ungainly running style was heavily accentuated, and if you got too close to those feet you were going to make contact. Budd herself had no history of ever cheating in her races, and it seems highly unlikely that she would choose the Olympics, in full view of the world, to begin.

It seems particularly ironic that Decker herself was so bitter with her accusations of cheating when she herself was later tested positive for drugs.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the incident, Budd, unlike any other athlete who ever tripped anyone, deliberately or otherwise, was hounded out of the sport by the media and soon returned to South Africa, her citizenship intact, and a large part of Britain felt good about that.

Since the 80s things have started to change. By the time Greg Rusedski decided that he'd be better off playing for Britain in the mid 90s we were delighted to have him. Rusedski was born in Canada to a British mother and a German-born father of Polish-Ukrainian descent so his 'right' to play for us was a little tenuous to put it mildly, and it certainly didn't please his fellow Canadians. Still'n'all, a Brit mum? That's good enough for us sunshine, get yer shirt on and win for Britain!

Today, with well over half of our major league footballers coming from abroad, and some clubs occasionally fielding entire teams of non-British nationals, we're in trouble. Our national team is now made up of also rans and fading stars who couldn't even make it past the qualifiers for the European cup. Oh tragedy, what to do about our fast disappearing sporting heritage?

We turn back to tennis of course. Yesterday Laura Robson, born in Australia but having spent half her - admittedly so far short - life here, won the Wimbledon junior girls tournament, taking out the first and third seeds on the way, and all this despite having only made the tournament on a wild card. Born in Australia, lived here for 7 years? That's good enough for us!

Robson was suitably unfazed at suggestions that she was the "New British hope" and pointed out that fellow Brits Anne Keothavong and Elena Baltacha had done pretty well this year as well.

Keothavong and Baltacha...

Yup. Sounds suitably British to me.