There are three things in the world that smell like fish...
Thursday, 1. February 2007, 00:42:42
One of them is fish.
There was a news item about the decline in river fishing today. They interviewed a few anglers, and they asked their very first victim what it was that attracted him to the sport. He replied that it was the excitement of pitting himself against the fish.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I knew the guy was completely serious, and I understood the point he was trying to make, but all I could see was this guy, maybe 5 or 6 feet tall with a muscle system as sophisticated as a really sophisticated thing at a gathering of debs in Buckingham palace on Really Sophisticated Day, and a brain this big, taking on a fish about twelve inches long, with a muscle system devoted entirely to propelling it though water and a brain about this big.
That's gotta be so galling when one of the little bugglers gets away...
Of course I have to be different. Not only does fishing not really qualify as a sport by my definition, and yes, I'll grant you that it does by almost everybody else's, but to me it gets in the way of a perfectly good lounge about by the riverside.
I could undertand it if they actually wanted to eat their catch, but most of them seem to just plop the poor old fish into a tiny little net until they get a chance to weigh them, then chuck them back into the river for someone else to catch while they go to the pub to lie about the size of the day's catch. Why bother with the catching part? Why not just go to the pub and lie about it? It cuts out all that unnecessary waking up and doing something that spoils an otherwise perfectly nice day out.
In that respect, at least, it's remarkably similar to another 'sport' that only just qualifies for inclusion under that over subscribed noun. I refer, of course, to golf. Golf courses take up great swathes of countryside and only allow members to walk over them. Fair enough. So the rich can pay for the right to walk over nice countryside that's kept neat and tidy and is guaranteed lion and python free. Why spoil it by stopping to hit a tiny litte white pill every few hundred yards, a distraction that seems to detract considerably from most people's enjoyment of the walk while drastically increasing their blood pressure?
I guess this is what they mean by 'The British take their pleasures seriously'. OK, that's our excuse, now what about the rest of the world?
Now here's your homework for today.
What are the other two things that smell like fish?
Here's a clue. I swear I saw one of them on 'Today in parliament'.
There was a news item about the decline in river fishing today. They interviewed a few anglers, and they asked their very first victim what it was that attracted him to the sport. He replied that it was the excitement of pitting himself against the fish.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. I knew the guy was completely serious, and I understood the point he was trying to make, but all I could see was this guy, maybe 5 or 6 feet tall with a muscle system as sophisticated as a really sophisticated thing at a gathering of debs in Buckingham palace on Really Sophisticated Day, and a brain this big, taking on a fish about twelve inches long, with a muscle system devoted entirely to propelling it though water and a brain about this big.
That's gotta be so galling when one of the little bugglers gets away...
Of course I have to be different. Not only does fishing not really qualify as a sport by my definition, and yes, I'll grant you that it does by almost everybody else's, but to me it gets in the way of a perfectly good lounge about by the riverside.
I could undertand it if they actually wanted to eat their catch, but most of them seem to just plop the poor old fish into a tiny little net until they get a chance to weigh them, then chuck them back into the river for someone else to catch while they go to the pub to lie about the size of the day's catch. Why bother with the catching part? Why not just go to the pub and lie about it? It cuts out all that unnecessary waking up and doing something that spoils an otherwise perfectly nice day out.
In that respect, at least, it's remarkably similar to another 'sport' that only just qualifies for inclusion under that over subscribed noun. I refer, of course, to golf. Golf courses take up great swathes of countryside and only allow members to walk over them. Fair enough. So the rich can pay for the right to walk over nice countryside that's kept neat and tidy and is guaranteed lion and python free. Why spoil it by stopping to hit a tiny litte white pill every few hundred yards, a distraction that seems to detract considerably from most people's enjoyment of the walk while drastically increasing their blood pressure?
I guess this is what they mean by 'The British take their pleasures seriously'. OK, that's our excuse, now what about the rest of the world?
Now here's your homework for today.
What are the other two things that smell like fish?
Here's a clue. I swear I saw one of them on 'Today in parliament'.
WIDGETIZE