Deke

Posts tagged with "laffs"

One sunny day (Near a postbox)

Thursday, June 19, 2008 11:28:18 PM

I injured myself.

It's something that can happen to vinyl junkies such as myself at anytime of the music-listening day. I sprained my tone-arm lowering finger.

Naturally it was straight down to casualty for me. Ambidextrous I may be, but because of the placement of the tone-arm on the turntable mounting even left handed people have to lower it with their right hand. Or maybe rig up some kind of really stupid mechanism as a protest against a right handed dictatorship world.

I was quickly triaged by a doctor who rushed me to the back of the queue and a within only a few mere hours I was called to a cubicle. I should have realised that something was wrong when the nurse asked me to take off all my clothes.

She was about to perform what I assume was a secret mystery life saving procedure upon me when a doctor came rushing into the cubicle. "No no nurse!" He screamed. "I said 'Crook his little finger, not finger his little...'"

I assume from your ill-concealed expressions and unnecessary chortling that you don't believe me. You think I'm making this up. Let's be honest, up to this point it does rather beggar belief, doesn't it?

And yet the truth is, yes of course it's not true. I played a record titled 'Crook his little finger' on my media player as I was going to post a letter today. It was a beautiful sunny day and I found myself singing it no matter what came up on the player after it, so I switched it off and promptly thought of that punch line. After that it was a simple matter of constucting a lead-in storyline to reach it.

What the doctor really shouted as he came into the cubicle was "No no nurse! I said prick his boil, not boil his..."

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How DO you draw a blank? - I think we should be told.

Thursday, January 31, 2008 10:37:42 AM

humour, Comedy, laffs, arf arf ...

Think about it. You pick up the pencil....

Then what?

Richard Digance is a folk singer with a bit of a sense of humour, if you saw him in the street you'd probably think he was a bank manager. OK, a slightly older than average bank clerk. He's also inclined to ask questions like the one that invited you in here.

Yesterday I was watching him guesting on a quiz show ('Countdown' for those of you who are completists) and the thought occured to me that I'd heard this sense of humour before. Twice in fact. In the 50s and 60s there was a Scots comedian called Chic Murray who I've almost certainly mentioned before. His set consisted of strange rambles which came mostly off the top of his head, although like all good comics he had some stand-by gags in case he lost the track completely. Think of him as an early Billy Connolly without the foul mouth. One of these desperation gags was "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."

Which brings us to Steven Wright who said exactly the same thing, along with other comments such as "I saw a subliminal advertising executive. But only for a second." Wright and Murray had very similar senses of humour, yet their delivery was completely different, now it's struck me that Richard Digence also has this same sense of humour ("Why don't sheep shrink?"), and again his delivery is totally different.

'Where's this going?' I hear you scream. Well I have a strangely similar sense of humour. I've been heard to enquire "Why is 'dyslexia' so damn hard to spell?" or "What idiot thought it would be a good idea to put an 's' in 'lisp'?", but no one finds me in the least little bit funny. Obviously there is more to comedy than just telling jokes, and whatever it is I don't have it. There must be something wrong with my ti

ming.

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