Boss Radio

So when Naomi Campbell gave the present of a pouch of pebbles to charity, what she actually did was to give it to Jeremy Ratcliffe, who was also at the party and worked for the Nelson Mandela Children's Fund. Miss C will of course put on her 'Don't blame me I'm stupid face' and claim that no one told her it was illegal to have rough diamonds without a licence and that her only legal option was to hand them over to the police. Mr Ratcliffe was well aware of the law and for some reason decided that, although he didn't want to involve the charity, he would nonetheless hold on to the diamonds, illegally. Just in case the law changed maybe.

After Miss C's testimony yesterday Ratcliffe got a visit from the forces of law'n'order and the diamonds, or diamonds resembling the originals anyway, are now in the possession of the police.

If this is starting to all sound a bit pointless to you, imagine what it must be like to be part of the prosecution team. They, after all, must be wondering why, if all Campbell had to say was what was in her evidence, did she not want to appear at the court? She says that being forced to appear has put her and her family in the firing line, and she knows this because she looked Charles Taylor up on the internet after she was first approached and found out that he wasn't a nice man. What exactly was it in her testimony that would have put her in the firing line? There are other witnesses who are really putting themselves in the firing line, Campbell said nothing of any use to the prosecution. So what was she afraid of?

And why, come to that, did she have a 'special adviser', Lord McDonald - the former Director of Public Prosecutions in Britain - on standby in the courtroom to help her out if she...well... if she what? The prosecution must be thinking right now that there's something they didn't ask that they should have.

I know I am.

I was in the wash and brush-up area of a motorway service station just a few short hours ago, and a guy came and stood in front of the next basin alongside mine and looked at himself in the mirror, then he turned and looked at me and for reasons that only he could define he said, wearily, "War."

My first reaction was to check the mirror and make sure I wasn't alone in there with this guy. "Hello", "Nice day", "How ya doin'?", or even "The crappers are in a disgusting state", I know how to deal with. "War" was a new one on me. I said the only thing I could think of. "Huh. What is it good for?"

"Absolutely nothin'" he said.

"Say it again." I said.

But he didn't.

If anyone's wondering what a T-shirst is, it's reputed to be the first mis-spelling on a national computer network forum. It almost certainly wasn't but hey, who's counting?

These are slogans which you can have emblazoned across your chest.


Already smarter than Bush. (Infant sizes only)

1/20/09: End of an Error (Note to Brits: That’s when the next president takes office)

That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First

If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

You Can't Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same Time

If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President

Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant (Brits again: It's the symbol of the Republican Party)

George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

Impeachment: It's Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

Jail to the Chief

No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade?

We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language

We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

Is It Vietnam Yet?

Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century

2004: Embarrassed
2005: Horrified
2006: Terrified


I'm afraid the pro-Bush ones are rather boring. I'm siding with the sensahumour.