Boss Radio

It's 'Children in Need' time again over here, when we all sit down in front of the TV to watch famous people make idiots of themselves, scantily clad girls mime to their latest number one download, and have our consciences pricked something cruel until we hand over all our money to charity, in shame.

As a prologue to this there was a "Star studded" concert on TV tonight, and whilst watching it I suddenly had an almost Damascian revelation into what separates those with the 'X' factor from the rest of us.

Firstly let me explain if you don't have a TV show called 'X-Factor' in your neck of the woods. It's what we now call the programme previously called '(Insert the name of your own country here) Idol'. On the bill for this star-studded concert was last year but one's winner, Leona Lewis. Now I'm not denying that Miss Lewis can sing, she's got a big future before her, mainly because she sounds just like Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey, and indeed she now appears to be almost as white as them (Why is it that black girls spend vast sums on cream to make them look white whilst white girls spend hours under sunbeds to make themselves look black? I think we should be told).

Also in the line-up was Lily Allen. She was an ordinary computer using teen who put videos of herself singing her own songs on Youtube. For some reason, amongst the thousands of such videos posted every day, hers caught the public attention. They demanded more songs and she quickly got snapped up by a canny record company and, as demonstrated by her position in the running order of the show, is now a bigger star than Leona Lewis.

I put it to you, m'lud, that despite winning the TV programme called 'X-Factor', Miss Lewis does not actually have the 'X' factor, she merely sounds like other currently popular vocalists, whilst Miss Allen, having simply been thrust into stardom by the fact that she has an indefinable something about her that people like, rather obviously does have it.

It's one of those ironies. People who do in fact have the 'X' factor have no need to go on to the programme to prove it. The general public know much better than Simon Cowell who has it.

Quite a while back now I read about a proposed TV show in which the star of a new Andrew Lloyd Webber production would be picked 'Pop idol' style by the TV audience. I promptly wrote a letter to one of the TV magazines pointing out that this would not get him the best person for the job because TV audiences just love an underdog, I gave a couple of examples of previous reality shows in which the result had been completely farcial. It won me a portable radio (Which doesn't actually work properly, but what the hey, it was free).

Flash forward a while and Andrew Lloyd Webber finds himself in the Sunday papers for losing his rag live on TV over two of his favourites being up for the chop that week. He was particularly miffed as it was his task to pick which one of them had to go.

He should have listened to me.

This week the favourite to win X-Factor (Just another identikit female vocalist with a pitch correction warble IMHO) went out. Such were the bellows of outrage that Ofcom, the overseers of TV, have launched an investigation into possible corruption.

I will predict here and now that they will find nothing whatsoever wrong with the voting. Everyone assumed that as the favourite she would automatically get through so they voted for their favourite underdog instead.

Maybe I should send a copy of this blog to the Radio Times, I might win a radio that works next time