My Opera18 years
Saturday, November 7, 2009 8:10:41 AM
I just moved into the top floor of a mansion on Jackson Ave. and Magazine St. The wrap around balcony, the breeze, and the view are bringing me somewhere. I just wrote this song. Disregard the misplaced commas. They're all about the timing. I'll be recording it to post here tomorrow.
I was just the tender age of 14, when my loving father died.
And somehow, throughout the grief, helplessness, and pain I refused to cry.
Coping and survival kicked in, and my emotions ran to hide.
And my feelings unexpressed locked me deep inside myself, and chained my pride.
18 years of pain, where has it gotten me?
Lonely.
I might just need a shrink; already tried the drink.
Help me.
So I kept myself protected, in a crisis mode, for 18 years.
Using and then losing friends as quickly as I made 'em, and still no tears.
Gearing up for the next big drop on the self-destructive, roller coaster.
It's too bad we can't see ourselves and change the way we act as we grow older.
18 years of pain, where has gotten me?
Nowhere.
I'm enraged and vengeful, life's boring and uneventful
I didn't care.
As the earth revolved around the sun, I became a pro at manifesting drama.
And as the wasteful years flew by fast, I finally made up, with my mama.
But still in all relationships I sabotaged myself, to get my fix.
As soon as they were going somewhere good, I made damn sure they were nixed.
18 years of pain, you've made my life a living hell.
And now I know.
Almost outta rope, but I might be strong enough, to just let it go.
Yeah, Just let it go.
<solo>
So I think I finally found a place, within my head, and it's where I wanna be.
By a tranquil pool of water, on a mountain top, just inside of me.
And it's there that I forgave myself, for the hurt I've caused, all throughout the years.
And I watched that tranquil pool spill down the mountainside in a waterfall of tears.
18 years of pain, where have you gotten me?
Everywhere.
And Dad you know I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you there.
I can't wait to see you there.
I just composed the music and this is gonna be beautiful. Come back and check it out later. Peace.
I was just the tender age of 14, when my loving father died.
And somehow, throughout the grief, helplessness, and pain I refused to cry.
Coping and survival kicked in, and my emotions ran to hide.
And my feelings unexpressed locked me deep inside myself, and chained my pride.
18 years of pain, where has it gotten me?
Lonely.
I might just need a shrink; already tried the drink.
Help me.
So I kept myself protected, in a crisis mode, for 18 years.
Using and then losing friends as quickly as I made 'em, and still no tears.
Gearing up for the next big drop on the self-destructive, roller coaster.
It's too bad we can't see ourselves and change the way we act as we grow older.
18 years of pain, where has gotten me?
Nowhere.
I'm enraged and vengeful, life's boring and uneventful
I didn't care.
As the earth revolved around the sun, I became a pro at manifesting drama.
And as the wasteful years flew by fast, I finally made up, with my mama.
But still in all relationships I sabotaged myself, to get my fix.
As soon as they were going somewhere good, I made damn sure they were nixed.
18 years of pain, you've made my life a living hell.
And now I know.
Almost outta rope, but I might be strong enough, to just let it go.
Yeah, Just let it go.
<solo>
So I think I finally found a place, within my head, and it's where I wanna be.
By a tranquil pool of water, on a mountain top, just inside of me.
And it's there that I forgave myself, for the hurt I've caused, all throughout the years.
And I watched that tranquil pool spill down the mountainside in a waterfall of tears.
18 years of pain, where have you gotten me?
Everywhere.
And Dad you know I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you there.
I can't wait to see you there.
I just composed the music and this is gonna be beautiful. Come back and check it out later. Peace.
Stardancer # Sunday, November 8, 2009 12:58:34 AM