Top Ten Things Found in Opera's Dumpster
Tuesday, September 15, 2009 10:22:59 PM
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10. Old Recipes for Lutefisk and New Boxes from Frozen Pizza
It's time to put the past behind and look to the future - a technology driven future with new software, new looks, new ideas, and refrigerators.
9. Fan Fiction for Opera Man
Opera has it's fans, and chances are if you're reading this you are one. But Opera's got a a fanbase so strong that they've started writing fan fiction based on a fictional fictional character dubbed Opera Man. Certain fanatical employees are even involved in the movement and translation into multiple languages. Sadly, it's all terribly predictable: Fastest hero ever, saves everyone from bad situations, really good looking, etc.
8. Useless Code
Ever wonder why other web browsers have 90+MB install files and take up so much space when Opera packs in more features in a smaller footprint? Even the download and install is faster.
7. Coffee Cups
It's no secret that software companies like caffeine. But when your work day spans 24 time zones, you always have employees awake somewhere - even if they should be sleeping.
Not satisfied with speeding up web browsing and information accessibility on the Internets, Opera Software has thrown away all of the doors within their headquarters to make getting around in the real world faster as well (with the exception of the front doors, because security is important, too). Further, they get around using dirt bikes in the office halls and use jumps liberally from floor to floor.
5. Smiley Stat Tracking
Only secretly tested internally and in the MyOpera beta section online, the sad story of Smiley Stats ends here. Originally planned to be the metadata goldmine of the information age, the Smiley Stats program was going to track everyone's usage of Smilies in comments to then sell that data to advertisers - that is, until the exact same usage pattern emerged week after week after week:
- Monday - was the general feeling
- Tuesday -
- Wednesday -
- Thursday -
- Friday - curiously shows up with not only 70% from the community, but also 99% from Opera employees.
- Saturday - a mix of from the community and from Opera employees
- Sunday -
4. Opera Brand Laxatives
Opera loves to spread the swag thick, but this failed attempt had recipients running. The obvious choice as a medium to convey the 'Fast & Safe' angle of their web browsing platform, the Opera Branded Laxatives worked too fast - leading to the now infamous "Opera, So Fast You'll Crap In Your Pants" stickers.
3. Jon S. von Tetzchner's Speedo
Known for crossing bodies of water to launch new versions of web browsers, Opera's CEO has to toss the old Speedo in lieu of a wet suit in the winter months. Even vikings need protection from Norwegian winter seas.
2. Mail intended for Oprah Winfrey
Like letters to Santa Claus, Opera has the sad job of throwing away millions of letters intended for Oprah, shattering the dreams of household moms all over the world. Tweets, too!
1. Microsoft or Apple Employees
You will often find these curious creatures rummaging around in the Opera dumpster looking for useful bits of information as to what Opera will bestow on the web browser industry next since Opera is always beating them to the punch.
Anyone find anything else in Opera's dumpster?