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Top Ten Things Found in Opera's Dumpster

Tuesday, 15. September 2009, 22:22:59

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As part of Opera's Marketing Position Competition, you can favorite this post with the star at the top if you are signed in to MyOpera.



10. Old Recipes for Lutefisk and New Boxes from Frozen Pizza
It's time to put the past behind and look to the future - a technology driven future with new software, new looks, new ideas, and refrigerators.

9. Fan Fiction for Opera Man
Opera has it's fans, and chances are if you're reading this you are one. But Opera's got a a fanbase so strong that they've started writing fan fiction based on a fictional fictional character dubbed Opera Man. Certain fanatical employees are even involved in the movement and translation into multiple languages. Sadly, it's all terribly predictable: Fastest hero ever, saves everyone from bad situations, really good looking, etc.

8. Useless Code
Ever wonder why other web browsers have 90+MB install files and take up so much space when Opera packs in more features in a smaller footprint? Even the download and install is faster.

7. Coffee Cups
It's no secret that software companies like caffeine. But when your work day spans 24 time zones, you always have employees awake somewhere - even if they should be sleeping.

6. Doors
Not satisfied with speeding up web browsing and information accessibility on the Internets, Opera Software has thrown away all of the doors within their headquarters to make getting around in the real world faster as well (with the exception of the front doors, because security is important, too). Further, they get around using dirt bikes in the office halls and use jumps liberally from floor to floor.

5. Smiley Stat Tracking
Only secretly tested internally and in the MyOpera beta section online, the sad story of Smiley Stats ends here. Originally planned to be the metadata goldmine of the information age, the Smiley Stats program was going to track everyone's usage of Smilies in comments to then sell that data to advertisers - that is, until the exact same usage pattern emerged week after week after week:
  • Monday - :cry: was the general feeling
  • Tuesday - :rolleyes:
  • Wednesday - :coffee:
  • Thursday - :up:
  • Friday - :cheers: curiously shows up with not only 70% from the community, but also 99% from Opera employees.
  • Saturday - a mix of :yes: from the community and :faint: from Opera employees
  • Sunday - :happy:
All they found was that Friday = Beers. Opera decided ultimately not to subject their community members to advertisements. :yes:

4. Opera Brand Laxatives
Opera loves to spread the swag thick, but this failed attempt had recipients running. The obvious choice as a medium to convey the 'Fast & Safe' angle of their web browsing platform, the Opera Branded Laxatives worked too fast - leading to the now infamous "Opera, So Fast You'll Crap In Your Pants" stickers.

3. Jon S. von Tetzchner's Speedo
Known for crossing bodies of water to launch new versions of web browsers, Opera's CEO has to toss the old Speedo in lieu of a wet suit in the winter months. Even vikings need protection from Norwegian winter seas.

2. Mail intended for Oprah Winfrey
Like letters to Santa Claus, Opera has the sad job of throwing away millions of letters intended for Oprah, shattering the dreams of household moms all over the world. Tweets, too!

1. Microsoft or Apple Employees
You will often find these curious creatures rummaging around in the Opera dumpster looking for useful bits of information as to what Opera will bestow on the web browser industry next since Opera is always beating them to the punch.

Anyone find anything else in Opera's dumpster?

Good Packing

Comments

Gyrobo 15. September 2009, 23:19

Originally posted by DotEd:

Anyone find anything else in Opera's dumpster?

Hopefully not a stack of résumés...

DotEd 15. September 2009, 23:25

hahaha

gregsmithsays 16. September 2009, 05:11

- ha, ha, well I noticed throw aways from new users - a couple irc apps, a few torrent apps, email clients, loads of compressed data and a skip full of compost marked "ff, ie and chrome"

Lawmune 16. September 2009, 05:39

As I said on Twitter:

Nice one, @DotEd , but Opera-man predates my time at Opera :smile: I'll take some credit for Opera-tan, though: http://bit.ly/ww6py

jdlien 16. September 2009, 06:56

Wonderful article, made me laugh a few times :smile:

I'm definitely favoriting it... check out mine if you get a chance :smile:

Aleksander 16. September 2009, 11:09

Awesome :smile: I love #4

H82typ 17. September 2009, 13:45

Opera. So fast, you'll crap your pants! Also, see our Opera brand adult diapers! Now at Walmart, K-Mart, Tesco and Asda.
Buy our diapers first, then download our browser... You'll be glad you did! :smile:

H82typ 17. September 2009, 13:47

:eyes: OMG! Sorry. Got carried away there! :lol: I enjoyed this. Is that a bad thing? :worried:

darkhitsugaya 17. September 2009, 14:26

Number 5 is so true for me. I hate Mondays, and I always use the sad smiley in that day. Friday-Sunday is a totally different story. lol

Added it as a fave... Do check out my post toohere and hopefully you'll pick something up from there!

Chas4 17. September 2009, 16:10

8. Useless Code
Ever wonder why other web browsers have 90+MB install files and take up so much space when Opera packs in more features in a smaller footprint? Even the download and install is faster.



So ture

Furie 17. September 2009, 16:47

Number 1 is so unfair. Apple invents everything in the world and everyone copies them, usually by going back in time by several years so they can pretend to have invented it first.

jdlien 17. September 2009, 18:21

You sound like you might identify with reason number 9 in my article. :wink:

Furie 17. September 2009, 19:10

I had no problem with Apple until they dipped their toe into my world - the mobile sector. Then they marketed an underfeatured brick using techniques that are illegal (exclusive to one operator, not allowing buyers to unlock to another network, etc) in many of the countries they market it in, locked the device so that it can't sideload applications, called it a smartphone despite it not reaching smartphone standards (multitasking being the main but not the only problem)and sent their fans wild with revolutionary features that I'd been using on phones for a decade before they even started designing their brick.
:mad:

H82typ 17. September 2009, 20:36

Oh, no! You had to get him started, didn't you? :yikes:

jdlien 17. September 2009, 22:03

Unfortunately I don't know that your description describes *only* the iPhone - but I hear you. Personally, I'm loving the Palm Pre. I am not buying one though for now, in case I actually win this thing! I don't think Bell services Norway! It will be a few months before European carriers start selling them, or before GSM models are available.

Furie 18. September 2009, 01:14

Should be launching in October according to my sources in the business (although they've been wrong about Palm before) but it too suffers an exclusive network deal that's anti-competitive. At least you can get them SIM-free if you don't like the network.

rowley8 18. September 2009, 06:06

Favored your article, check mine out and you can vote if you like it, thanks!

http://my.opera.com/rowley8/blog/2009/09/11/destiny-calls

Muttsfan 18. September 2009, 22:34

I just crapped in my pants after clicking the last link :cry:

gregsmithsays 19. September 2009, 08:22

And Now ... The End is Near ... (my best Frank Sinatra voice)

What next ?

Why not JOIN the ORGI group
(online resource group)
http://my.opera.com/orginet/blog/2009/09/17/50-online-writers-free-resources

This way ALL 2009 participants can stay in touch (maybe until 2010) and share WRITING TIPS

JOIN TODAY

ayayay1rancho 20. September 2009, 01:54

I too am loving this!!!! LOl.. Added to my Favs...

Originally posted by H82typ:

Opera. So fast, you'll crap your pants! Also, see our Opera brand adult diapers! Now at Walmart, K-Mart, Tesco and Asda.
Buy our diapers first, then download our browser... You'll be glad you did!


Oszin 29. November 2009, 13:28

"but this failed attempt had recipients running." - brilliant! BRILLIANT word choice!

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