Worry (Concern)
Wednesday, 7. November 2007, 16:10:35
I received this as an email from a friend, it pretty much tells it like it is.
Is there a magic cutoff age
when offspring become accountable
for their own actions?
Is there a wonderful moment
when parents can become
detached spectators in the lives
of their children and shrug,
"It's their life," and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?"
The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage."
My mother just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly,
disrupted the class, and was headed
for a career making license plates.
As if reading my mind , the teacher said,
"Don't worry, they all go through this stage, and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them."
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home, the front door
to open. A friend said,"They're trying to find themselves"
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was
a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it.
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented
by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.
My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead
my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm
smile and her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?
One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and
no one answered. I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
The ball is in your court now.
Is there a magic cutoff age
when offspring become accountable
for their own actions?
Is there a wonderful moment
when parents can become
detached spectators in the lives
of their children and shrug,
"It's their life," and feel nothing?
When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?"
The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage."
My mother just smiled faintly
and said nothing.
When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly,
disrupted the class, and was headed
for a career making license plates.
As if reading my mind , the teacher said,
"Don't worry, they all go through this stage, and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them."
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home, the front door
to open. A friend said,"They're trying to find themselves"
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was
a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it.
My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.
I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented
by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.
My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead
my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm
smile and her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"
Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?
One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and
no one answered. I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
The ball is in your court now.
