Happiness project, key #2
Sunday, 8. July 2007, 14:26:32
Understand why you're unhappy and depressed
Guys, I want to start this one with a revelation. Are you ready for it? Yes, I think you are.
Life doesn't happen to you. You happen to life.
Chew on that for a couple of seconds, because it may be difficult to grasp straight away. What this means is that we are not and never have been just helpless victims of circumstances. Get this - unhappiness and depression doesn't happen to you. On the contrary, you DELIBERATELY make it happen to yourself. Yes, you heard me - when you're unhappy it's because you want to be.
"Are you saying I want to be unhappy, Eivind? Come on, are you an idiot, an arrogant pompous arse?" Yes I'm all of those, but that's besides the point. What's important now is that I'm right. And I propose that there are two ways we create unhappiness for ourselves:
The gross way
The gross way of creating unhappiness for ourselves is the way of the ego. At one point we may become so accustomed to being unhappy, to bringing ourselves down, that we install it in the mainframe of our own identity. Being happy then means being someone that we're not, so we can't allow ourselves to be happy for an extended period of time. We may get the occasional burst, but then we run the unhappiness program again to fall in line with our perceived identity. We don't need a reason to be unhappy, we just choose to be.
A few people have this unhappiness program running on most of their psychic RAM. Nearly all of us, however, have it installed on segments. These segments are what Jung referred to as shadows, parts of ourselves that we're not aware of that triggers the habitual unhappiness program.
The subtle way
The subtle way of creating unhappiness for ourselves is, unlike the gross way, really good news. This isn't triggered by our ego at all, it happens when our intuition, our inner wisdom is calling out to the ego "Pay attention! You're not living in accordance with your master plan!" This one often gets us by surprise as we may feel unhappy for no apparent reason. But there IS a reason, we just don't have enough awareness on the surface to grasp it.
I'd like to point out that this is fucking awesome guys. What this means, get this - is that when you are unhappy or depressed, it's because deep down in your subconscious mind, you know that you're not - right now - living in accordance with your highest potential. Understand that your unhappiness is the best teacher of happiness that you can ever find as it always lets you know when your current activity is other than what you REALLY want to do. So let's start paying attention to what makes us happy and what makes us miserable and gain the wisdom to let the master plan unfold before us. Our lives will never be the same again.
Some of you out there may feel that you're somehow special, that everyone else is happy and content whereas you feel miserable all the time. You're a worrier, but even more you are a wonderer. You also hold yourself to excruciatingly high standards and want everything to be perfect. You're looking for meaning, but somewhere along the line you ran out of steam and became chronically depressed. You my friends are the lucky ones. There are people in this world who are content to live a life devoid of any real meaning, who will never feel what it's like to have an existential crisis. They know no real problems, but they know no real happiness either. You may sometimes despise their apparent superficiality, but you would do well to honor their choice, to respect them and love them. They just chose differently. Understand, however, that your plight, the very essence of that which makes you feel different is a source of greater power than you could ever come to understand. You were never one that looked merely for comfort, you look for ecstasy and union with the very fabric of reality. You want more than material surplus, you want surplus of the spirit. Enter your depression fully, take responsibility for it (for it is the sound of your soul shouting out for you) and some years down the line, you will be on the vanguard of the social transformation that is bound to come when humanity takes the next step into the light. You, my friend, will lead us there.
Guys, I want to start this one with a revelation. Are you ready for it? Yes, I think you are.
Life doesn't happen to you. You happen to life.
Chew on that for a couple of seconds, because it may be difficult to grasp straight away. What this means is that we are not and never have been just helpless victims of circumstances. Get this - unhappiness and depression doesn't happen to you. On the contrary, you DELIBERATELY make it happen to yourself. Yes, you heard me - when you're unhappy it's because you want to be.
"Are you saying I want to be unhappy, Eivind? Come on, are you an idiot, an arrogant pompous arse?" Yes I'm all of those, but that's besides the point. What's important now is that I'm right. And I propose that there are two ways we create unhappiness for ourselves:
The gross way
The gross way of creating unhappiness for ourselves is the way of the ego. At one point we may become so accustomed to being unhappy, to bringing ourselves down, that we install it in the mainframe of our own identity. Being happy then means being someone that we're not, so we can't allow ourselves to be happy for an extended period of time. We may get the occasional burst, but then we run the unhappiness program again to fall in line with our perceived identity. We don't need a reason to be unhappy, we just choose to be.
A few people have this unhappiness program running on most of their psychic RAM. Nearly all of us, however, have it installed on segments. These segments are what Jung referred to as shadows, parts of ourselves that we're not aware of that triggers the habitual unhappiness program.
The subtle way
The subtle way of creating unhappiness for ourselves is, unlike the gross way, really good news. This isn't triggered by our ego at all, it happens when our intuition, our inner wisdom is calling out to the ego "Pay attention! You're not living in accordance with your master plan!" This one often gets us by surprise as we may feel unhappy for no apparent reason. But there IS a reason, we just don't have enough awareness on the surface to grasp it.
I'd like to point out that this is fucking awesome guys. What this means, get this - is that when you are unhappy or depressed, it's because deep down in your subconscious mind, you know that you're not - right now - living in accordance with your highest potential. Understand that your unhappiness is the best teacher of happiness that you can ever find as it always lets you know when your current activity is other than what you REALLY want to do. So let's start paying attention to what makes us happy and what makes us miserable and gain the wisdom to let the master plan unfold before us. Our lives will never be the same again.
Take unhappiness as your teacher and watch life unfold before you
Some of you out there may feel that you're somehow special, that everyone else is happy and content whereas you feel miserable all the time. You're a worrier, but even more you are a wonderer. You also hold yourself to excruciatingly high standards and want everything to be perfect. You're looking for meaning, but somewhere along the line you ran out of steam and became chronically depressed. You my friends are the lucky ones. There are people in this world who are content to live a life devoid of any real meaning, who will never feel what it's like to have an existential crisis. They know no real problems, but they know no real happiness either. You may sometimes despise their apparent superficiality, but you would do well to honor their choice, to respect them and love them. They just chose differently. Understand, however, that your plight, the very essence of that which makes you feel different is a source of greater power than you could ever come to understand. You were never one that looked merely for comfort, you look for ecstasy and union with the very fabric of reality. You want more than material surplus, you want surplus of the spirit. Enter your depression fully, take responsibility for it (for it is the sound of your soul shouting out for you) and some years down the line, you will be on the vanguard of the social transformation that is bound to come when humanity takes the next step into the light. You, my friend, will lead us there.
(11%)
WIDGETIZE
mank1 # 9. July 2007, 05:03
scott cumming # 23. July 2007, 18:40
i do like your pursuit in search of truth as it relates to our feelings.
and you've provided a lot of good material to chomp on.
i suspect that your insights are the result of real self-observation and not just intellectualizing.
keep it up... "questions are alive. answers are dead." albert einstein.
Eivind Figenschau Skjellum # 29. July 2007, 11:03
Cool man, I love that you think this version is incomplete! Please let me know what is lacking so I can grow myself and this blog series. Any topic has pretty much infinite depth and is never black and white, but myriad tones of gray so I can see completely where you're coming from!
Consider this the Happiness Open Source project, where all input is welcome in pursuit of a better life and a better world.
Oh my god, did I just say that? The open source Happiness project? Well, that may just be one of the best ideas I ever had! Whatcha think? :-)
Eivind
scott cumming # 30. July 2007, 04:13
it is in pursuing the truth that the envelope is pushed.
we can go back to plato for a fine definition of what is the common good. but oddly enough 2500 years have passed without any country achieving a state which fosters a general agreement among it's people that they have achieved a happy state.
we don't have to be visionaries to know what the problem is. it's competition, greed and selfishness. these common, way too common, foibles of human mentality have always spoiled the world for simple people who want nothing more than a safe home and a few pleasantries.
Eivind Figenschau Skjellum # 31. July 2007, 13:58
What can we do to improve on the situation you think?
And yet again, please feel free to share of your wisdom on where my initial post went wrong. If it's in the subtleties, then don't bother, it takes a long time and I know there are myriad subtle permutations on this that I didn't present. But if you find there's something big that I got wrong, please point it out.
I'm determined to get this one right and by the way I feel I know I'm getting pretty darned close.
scott cumming # 31. July 2007, 19:13
what control does a 'sleeping man' have over his life.
self observation, self remembering and a constant striving for balancing the physical, emotional and intellectual centers.
understanding only comes when knowledge and being conform to one another. that's not subtle. it's exact.
what is subtle is not expressing negative emotions.
Eivind Figenschau Skjellum # 1. August 2007, 06:54
You ask what control does a sleeping man have over his life. I say every bit as much as the awake man.
The man who is asleep chooses to be. Sure, it doesn't feel that way to him, but deliberateness is not always easy to spot. It generally only becomes obvious that the action was deliberate when you have grown a little.
A worldview that says that someone who is generally on autopilot, who is "asleep", has no control over his life does not at all fly with me. That is an unhealthy perspective and doesn't correspond with my personal experience. Some people need you to merely point out to them that they have control over their life to assume it. And yes, they had control before you said it too, they just chose not to take it. And that was deliberate.
Every second we're alive and not enlightened is a second that we choose not to be. Because it's too scary. Comfort and stability is much more important to human beings than happiness. That's just a small flaw in our genetic code. And that's why most people will not assume control over their life even though they have it.
The rest of your reflections are too part and piecemeal for me to understand as a reflection on what I myself wrote. I guess it's sort of true what you say, even though whether it's subtle or exact seems more like a matter of personal preference and pedantry than it does a question of importance. I don't agree that not expressing negative emotions is subtle, it's one of the easiest and most obvious ways of achieving happiness. All it requires is a modicum of awareness, one which most people have - but choose not to use.
Feel free to further clarify and thanks for dropping by again :-)