The life of Peter: A consciousness evolution example
Thursday, 7. September 2006, 08:59:46
Now that I've gone through the consciousness evolution models, maybe it's time to describe it through an actual real-life example. This will make it easier to understand for myself and whatever poor souls are still following my rants.
This is a long post - it has to be if I'm to explain it in a good and proper way (also, I'm killing time being home sick from work).
So let's start at square one. The unsuspecting victim of my fictitious life story is little Peter, born on 3rd of July 1958.
Little Peter was born, as all other children on the Beige level of consciousness. He cared about little else than being fed and when he wasn't happy he would scream. Everyone would look at him and go "oooh, aren't you cute, so innocent and pure", but little Peter had no sense of identity yet so he did not understand much of what was going on.
Little Peter grew a little and started playing with the toys that his parents had put on his crib. Peter thought these were real creatures, that they were alive just like his parents, and especially that little goblin one the parents so stupidly had put up - if Peter didn't treat him nice, Peter would be very sorry. Peter was at this point in life purple.
Peter grew a little more and started understanding a little better what was going on around him. Peter was two when his innocence evaporated and he became a right little bastard. He would challenge his parents all the time and test the boundaries of what was acceptable. But his loving parents didn't budge - if Peter did something wrong, Peter was told. And Peter would throw things around and scream. Peter was red.
Peter entered school and started getting friends. He entered the boy scouts and Sunday school where his strange teacher told him that he was lucky to have Jesus in his life, because then everything was okay. Peter thought this was somewhat strange, but also found it quite comforting, as he wanted everything to be okay. Peter had unwittingly turned blue.
Peter got older and his work started being marked. And as it turned out, Peter got very good marks. But so did some of his friends, and they started competing. And the more Peter got into getting good marks and learning, the more he forgot about religion. Peter graduated among the top 5% of his school (just beating the marks of his best friend Max to his great satisfaction) and decided to study economics - he was clever and he knew it and wanted to make money. Peter was comfortable at orange - so much to learn and so much money to make, but when that big stock trade he made at 27 went wrong, his ass got fired and his name tarnished. He couldn't handle it. He got depressed and his life started crumbling. Noone would hire him, and he felt so alone in the world. One day, while walking home after wandering the streets aimlessly, he decided to get some weed to space out from his troubles a little. He had enjoyed it in university so why not. And boy, was it great. He enjoyed it so much in fact that he only a few months later sat in his small apartment (it looked nothing like the big penthouse he once owned) injecting heroin into his veins. Peter had been so long at orange that when the value structure failed him, it was too much to handle.
Peter soon had spent his money and he started breaking into houses, robbing people (mainly people in the same predicament as himself) on the streets, entering bar brawls over petty change, generally being an aggressive bastard. Peter was so focused on getting his next hit that he had, bless his soul, descended back to red. And it was all the fault, he thought, of a heartless consumerist society.
Peter of course ended up in jail. That was in 1988. And there came his wakeup call. What was he doing to himself? What had happened to his dreams, his talents. He was a resourceful guy, you know. So why was he in jail? Not long after a missionary came to the jail, as missionaries sometimes do, and offered to give him the gift of Jesus. Sure, things used to be easier back then, and Peter was feeling pretty low, so he accepted Jesus back into his life.
Peter was on his best behaviour, after all, he didn't want to disappoint Jesus and his new Christian friends, so only half a year later he was back out on the streets. He worked hard to clean up his act, was a law-abiding citizen and went to prayer meetings several times a week. He started contributing in Church and everything seemed to be easy again, right and wrong had been clearly defined by the Lord and it was all a matter of following the rules. But still, at the very back of his mind, he felt a bit funny about it all. Because Peter was blue again, and having once been orange, that felt funny indeed.
He felt even more funny when he met his best friend from the school days again. Max had come out of the closet since then and was openly gay. Peter told Max with enthusiasm about Jesus, but Max told Peter that "Jesus hates people of my sexual orientation". "What do you mean?", said Peter and went back to his Christian friends who confirmed Max's statement by the extremely painful "Peter, Jesus hates faggots". Peter's world crumbled again before his eyes, and the very same day, Peter booted Jesus out of his life. Jesus was a fucking bigot who knew nothing about Max. Max was a great guy, in fact Peter loved Max (in a very heterosexual way) and if Jesus couldn't see what Peter saw, he must be blind. Peter didn't want to worship an ignoramus and so entered another personal crisis.
Peter emerged not much later having shed his blue colour and started to work in a supermarket. Peter was good at his job. He knew where everything was and was extremely hospitable to all his customers. He was in fact so good at his job that when the store manager was about to leave a year after Peter started the job, Peter got the position. Peter felt life had meaning again, that his talents again came to good use. His background in economics were useful in the job, and the store became one of the most profitable in the entire company. That did not go by unnoticed so soon Peter was relieved of his store managing duties and was asked if he wanted to come work at HQ to work with the strategy of the business. Peter of course accepted, as Peter was again on the rise in more ways than one. Peter was well and truly back to orange, and having dipped briefly back to red and blue, he was stronger than the last time.
But Peter hadn't given up on his Christian friends, after all they had been good friends in a time of need, so he and Max went to one of the prayer meetings. When they spotted him, they were all grins, but when they saw his friend Max, who dressed as he screwed (gay that is), they shamefully stayed away. The preacher came up on stage and both Peter and Max giggled at his little act, but when he screamed "We have a sinner among us! Let us pray to exorcise his demons and bring him back in the loving fold of Jesus Christ!", they stared at each other in shock and left the building to the cacaphony of hallelujahs and praise the lords! Blue was gone forever.
Peter's career was hugely successful, but even though he made lots of money and had a great apartment again, he wanted his life to have more meaning, so he started working with drug rehabilitation. He would talk to addicts and he would go around in schools explaining the dangers of drugs. His boss at work wondered what he was doing shooting off from work every once in a while on unannounced business and shrugged his shoulders when he told him. "Well, as long as it doesn't impact negatively on your performance here" and left it at that.
But in a sense it did. Because the more Peter worked with anti-drug programmes, the more he realized that the mentality at work was in fact the very same mentality that had driven him to take up drugs in the first place. He knew that he was only valuable to the company as long as he performed well and that they didn't really care about him as a person. Heartless bastards! Eventually, Peter decided to resign from a promising career - he was indeed only weeks from a managerial position - to pursue more meaningful things. Peter now saw that blue and orange were enemies of humanity, that the were the major reasons for the desperate plight of the planet and he went fully into idealist work. Peter had well and truly become green.
Peter now saw it all so clearly, all the things that were wrong with the world, all he had to work towards was rid the world of these evils and replace them with a fair and humane system, one in which all are equal, no matter their religious, political, social or ideological background. Peter was psyched, he had finally found purpose. It felt right for sure this time. But in the organizations that he was active in, he felt a lot of frustration - the meetings went a lot like this "I have a great idea, let me explain." Idea is explained. "How do you all feel about it?" "Well, I don't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, but I don't think this is exactly the most sensitive idea I've ever heard". "Murderers have feelings too you know". "And don't say black person, it's African American - please don't be so racist. You're hurting my feelings". But it didn't matter you know, because they did good work. They talked to people - and they talked some more. And no feelings were being hurt. What more can you ask?
Peter was stuck at green for quite some time, not making much progress towards his stated ideals, but all the time being convinced that he couldn't get better than this! But one day Max introduced Peter to a new friend of his. Max had clearly changed a little lately, Peter wasn't sure whether he had become more offensive or more sensitive, but anyway - his new friend Mike was a successful businessman, but he had once been a Zen monk. Businessman and Zen monk? Haha, what a combination Peter thought. Peter asked what Zen monks did and Mike answered "well, we mainly work with our hands and meditate". "What do you do when you meditate", Peter asked? "I just sit. Nothing more". Just sit, Peter thought, surely there's more than that! But Peter was curious and decided to meet up with Max and Mike on Saturday for some meditation and discussion. And somehow, Peter would talk Mike out of his business-venture.
Peter's legs were aching. Oooh, how painful, how sorry he felt for himself. And his mind was racing, so fast, and everywhere at once! Just be quiet will you! A gong sounded and he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally. Peter spoke somewhat distraught "You know, Mike, I don't know if I know how to meditate! I couldn't stop thinking and my legs were aching so bad." Mike grinned and said with a giggle "so just sitting is harder than you thought is it?". Peter realized what Mike had just said and how it reflected on his thinking earlier that week, and a light went on his mind. They stayed there for a while, discussing how to meditate, philosophy, the nature of the Universe etc. It was all new to Peter, even though it did to some extent remind him a little of what had happened back in the church. But it was different somehow, free of judgement, guilt and bad feelings.
Peter started playing with meditation and kept meeting with Max and Mike. Peter learned through his practice that you see what you are and that a mind that is out of control is not to be trusted. Slowly his meditation practice deepened and his heart started opening up to all his past experiences. All of a sudden he could see, so clearly now, how everything that he had ever experienced had contributed to this very moment, how it all had been instrumental to the feeling of this Eternal Now. Oh, how could he have missed it? It hit him like a truck in the heart.
He went back to his former congregation and after sitting through another prayer meeting with people dropping crying to their feet, he went to the preacher and said "thank you", knowing full well he would not understand it. The preacher was a narcissist, stuck in his own selfish ways, his only reason for being a preacher the ego-boosting feeling of being important, of being God's right-hand man. But he had been instrumental to Peter's growth so Peter thanked him, he thanked them all and left. He thanked his drug dealer, he thanked his former boss for firing him after the deal went wrong, he thanked everyone he could think of. And he meditated and reflected on the meaning of it all.
As it turns out, Peter, after having taken the leap into 2nd tier consciousness, in 2001 rediscovered his Christian heritage and is now following a contemplative practice as taught by progressive thinking Christian mystics. Zen Buddhism was an important part of his growth, but his heart was more in the Christian tradition. Early in 2005, he formed his own congregation, which now has almost fifty members and regular prayer meetings together with their friends in the local Tibetan Buddhist sangha. Peter has found a new purpose in life and little does he know that in 2008, he will be called back into the business world by progressive companies who want a way for their employees to focus their minds and open their hearts to make more money in a better and more ethical way.
What's next for Peter after that, noone knows, but it's possible that on the fourth of March, 2012, he will realize while making love to his wife, all of a sudden and with the impact of a thousand supernovas, that he is not separate - that each and every being he interacts with is in fact not different from him, that they ARE him, as he is them. He will see this in a literal sense, not as a mere philosophical concept, but as Ultimate Truth, as God, and from that day, Peter will be liberated from all the suffering he once knew, possessed by a freedom so vast that others will think him crazy. And who knows, maybe he will be, but what does it all matter when you're in the eternal embrace of happiness.
This is a long post - it has to be if I'm to explain it in a good and proper way (also, I'm killing time being home sick from work).
So let's start at square one. The unsuspecting victim of my fictitious life story is little Peter, born on 3rd of July 1958.
Little Peter was born, as all other children on the Beige level of consciousness. He cared about little else than being fed and when he wasn't happy he would scream. Everyone would look at him and go "oooh, aren't you cute, so innocent and pure", but little Peter had no sense of identity yet so he did not understand much of what was going on.
Little Peter grew a little and started playing with the toys that his parents had put on his crib. Peter thought these were real creatures, that they were alive just like his parents, and especially that little goblin one the parents so stupidly had put up - if Peter didn't treat him nice, Peter would be very sorry. Peter was at this point in life purple.
Peter grew a little more and started understanding a little better what was going on around him. Peter was two when his innocence evaporated and he became a right little bastard. He would challenge his parents all the time and test the boundaries of what was acceptable. But his loving parents didn't budge - if Peter did something wrong, Peter was told. And Peter would throw things around and scream. Peter was red.
Peter entered school and started getting friends. He entered the boy scouts and Sunday school where his strange teacher told him that he was lucky to have Jesus in his life, because then everything was okay. Peter thought this was somewhat strange, but also found it quite comforting, as he wanted everything to be okay. Peter had unwittingly turned blue.
Peter got older and his work started being marked. And as it turned out, Peter got very good marks. But so did some of his friends, and they started competing. And the more Peter got into getting good marks and learning, the more he forgot about religion. Peter graduated among the top 5% of his school (just beating the marks of his best friend Max to his great satisfaction) and decided to study economics - he was clever and he knew it and wanted to make money. Peter was comfortable at orange - so much to learn and so much money to make, but when that big stock trade he made at 27 went wrong, his ass got fired and his name tarnished. He couldn't handle it. He got depressed and his life started crumbling. Noone would hire him, and he felt so alone in the world. One day, while walking home after wandering the streets aimlessly, he decided to get some weed to space out from his troubles a little. He had enjoyed it in university so why not. And boy, was it great. He enjoyed it so much in fact that he only a few months later sat in his small apartment (it looked nothing like the big penthouse he once owned) injecting heroin into his veins. Peter had been so long at orange that when the value structure failed him, it was too much to handle.
Peter soon had spent his money and he started breaking into houses, robbing people (mainly people in the same predicament as himself) on the streets, entering bar brawls over petty change, generally being an aggressive bastard. Peter was so focused on getting his next hit that he had, bless his soul, descended back to red. And it was all the fault, he thought, of a heartless consumerist society.
Peter of course ended up in jail. That was in 1988. And there came his wakeup call. What was he doing to himself? What had happened to his dreams, his talents. He was a resourceful guy, you know. So why was he in jail? Not long after a missionary came to the jail, as missionaries sometimes do, and offered to give him the gift of Jesus. Sure, things used to be easier back then, and Peter was feeling pretty low, so he accepted Jesus back into his life.
Peter was on his best behaviour, after all, he didn't want to disappoint Jesus and his new Christian friends, so only half a year later he was back out on the streets. He worked hard to clean up his act, was a law-abiding citizen and went to prayer meetings several times a week. He started contributing in Church and everything seemed to be easy again, right and wrong had been clearly defined by the Lord and it was all a matter of following the rules. But still, at the very back of his mind, he felt a bit funny about it all. Because Peter was blue again, and having once been orange, that felt funny indeed.
He felt even more funny when he met his best friend from the school days again. Max had come out of the closet since then and was openly gay. Peter told Max with enthusiasm about Jesus, but Max told Peter that "Jesus hates people of my sexual orientation". "What do you mean?", said Peter and went back to his Christian friends who confirmed Max's statement by the extremely painful "Peter, Jesus hates faggots". Peter's world crumbled again before his eyes, and the very same day, Peter booted Jesus out of his life. Jesus was a fucking bigot who knew nothing about Max. Max was a great guy, in fact Peter loved Max (in a very heterosexual way) and if Jesus couldn't see what Peter saw, he must be blind. Peter didn't want to worship an ignoramus and so entered another personal crisis.
Peter emerged not much later having shed his blue colour and started to work in a supermarket. Peter was good at his job. He knew where everything was and was extremely hospitable to all his customers. He was in fact so good at his job that when the store manager was about to leave a year after Peter started the job, Peter got the position. Peter felt life had meaning again, that his talents again came to good use. His background in economics were useful in the job, and the store became one of the most profitable in the entire company. That did not go by unnoticed so soon Peter was relieved of his store managing duties and was asked if he wanted to come work at HQ to work with the strategy of the business. Peter of course accepted, as Peter was again on the rise in more ways than one. Peter was well and truly back to orange, and having dipped briefly back to red and blue, he was stronger than the last time.
But Peter hadn't given up on his Christian friends, after all they had been good friends in a time of need, so he and Max went to one of the prayer meetings. When they spotted him, they were all grins, but when they saw his friend Max, who dressed as he screwed (gay that is), they shamefully stayed away. The preacher came up on stage and both Peter and Max giggled at his little act, but when he screamed "We have a sinner among us! Let us pray to exorcise his demons and bring him back in the loving fold of Jesus Christ!", they stared at each other in shock and left the building to the cacaphony of hallelujahs and praise the lords! Blue was gone forever.
Peter's career was hugely successful, but even though he made lots of money and had a great apartment again, he wanted his life to have more meaning, so he started working with drug rehabilitation. He would talk to addicts and he would go around in schools explaining the dangers of drugs. His boss at work wondered what he was doing shooting off from work every once in a while on unannounced business and shrugged his shoulders when he told him. "Well, as long as it doesn't impact negatively on your performance here" and left it at that.
But in a sense it did. Because the more Peter worked with anti-drug programmes, the more he realized that the mentality at work was in fact the very same mentality that had driven him to take up drugs in the first place. He knew that he was only valuable to the company as long as he performed well and that they didn't really care about him as a person. Heartless bastards! Eventually, Peter decided to resign from a promising career - he was indeed only weeks from a managerial position - to pursue more meaningful things. Peter now saw that blue and orange were enemies of humanity, that the were the major reasons for the desperate plight of the planet and he went fully into idealist work. Peter had well and truly become green.
Peter now saw it all so clearly, all the things that were wrong with the world, all he had to work towards was rid the world of these evils and replace them with a fair and humane system, one in which all are equal, no matter their religious, political, social or ideological background. Peter was psyched, he had finally found purpose. It felt right for sure this time. But in the organizations that he was active in, he felt a lot of frustration - the meetings went a lot like this "I have a great idea, let me explain." Idea is explained. "How do you all feel about it?" "Well, I don't mean to hurt your feelings or anything, but I don't think this is exactly the most sensitive idea I've ever heard". "Murderers have feelings too you know". "And don't say black person, it's African American - please don't be so racist. You're hurting my feelings". But it didn't matter you know, because they did good work. They talked to people - and they talked some more. And no feelings were being hurt. What more can you ask?
Peter was stuck at green for quite some time, not making much progress towards his stated ideals, but all the time being convinced that he couldn't get better than this! But one day Max introduced Peter to a new friend of his. Max had clearly changed a little lately, Peter wasn't sure whether he had become more offensive or more sensitive, but anyway - his new friend Mike was a successful businessman, but he had once been a Zen monk. Businessman and Zen monk? Haha, what a combination Peter thought. Peter asked what Zen monks did and Mike answered "well, we mainly work with our hands and meditate". "What do you do when you meditate", Peter asked? "I just sit. Nothing more". Just sit, Peter thought, surely there's more than that! But Peter was curious and decided to meet up with Max and Mike on Saturday for some meditation and discussion. And somehow, Peter would talk Mike out of his business-venture.
Peter's legs were aching. Oooh, how painful, how sorry he felt for himself. And his mind was racing, so fast, and everywhere at once! Just be quiet will you! A gong sounded and he breathed a sigh of relief. Finally. Peter spoke somewhat distraught "You know, Mike, I don't know if I know how to meditate! I couldn't stop thinking and my legs were aching so bad." Mike grinned and said with a giggle "so just sitting is harder than you thought is it?". Peter realized what Mike had just said and how it reflected on his thinking earlier that week, and a light went on his mind. They stayed there for a while, discussing how to meditate, philosophy, the nature of the Universe etc. It was all new to Peter, even though it did to some extent remind him a little of what had happened back in the church. But it was different somehow, free of judgement, guilt and bad feelings.
Peter started playing with meditation and kept meeting with Max and Mike. Peter learned through his practice that you see what you are and that a mind that is out of control is not to be trusted. Slowly his meditation practice deepened and his heart started opening up to all his past experiences. All of a sudden he could see, so clearly now, how everything that he had ever experienced had contributed to this very moment, how it all had been instrumental to the feeling of this Eternal Now. Oh, how could he have missed it? It hit him like a truck in the heart.
He went back to his former congregation and after sitting through another prayer meeting with people dropping crying to their feet, he went to the preacher and said "thank you", knowing full well he would not understand it. The preacher was a narcissist, stuck in his own selfish ways, his only reason for being a preacher the ego-boosting feeling of being important, of being God's right-hand man. But he had been instrumental to Peter's growth so Peter thanked him, he thanked them all and left. He thanked his drug dealer, he thanked his former boss for firing him after the deal went wrong, he thanked everyone he could think of. And he meditated and reflected on the meaning of it all.
As it turns out, Peter, after having taken the leap into 2nd tier consciousness, in 2001 rediscovered his Christian heritage and is now following a contemplative practice as taught by progressive thinking Christian mystics. Zen Buddhism was an important part of his growth, but his heart was more in the Christian tradition. Early in 2005, he formed his own congregation, which now has almost fifty members and regular prayer meetings together with their friends in the local Tibetan Buddhist sangha. Peter has found a new purpose in life and little does he know that in 2008, he will be called back into the business world by progressive companies who want a way for their employees to focus their minds and open their hearts to make more money in a better and more ethical way.
What's next for Peter after that, noone knows, but it's possible that on the fourth of March, 2012, he will realize while making love to his wife, all of a sudden and with the impact of a thousand supernovas, that he is not separate - that each and every being he interacts with is in fact not different from him, that they ARE him, as he is them. He will see this in a literal sense, not as a mere philosophical concept, but as Ultimate Truth, as God, and from that day, Peter will be liberated from all the suffering he once knew, possessed by a freedom so vast that others will think him crazy. And who knows, maybe he will be, but what does it all matter when you're in the eternal embrace of happiness.
(11%)
WIDGETIZE